To feel offended by my MIL?

[CitrusZest]

My Grandmother passed away on Sunday after a long illness. My MIL visited her and knew her well enough to but her presents for her birthday and at Christmas.

I'ce spoken to my MIL twice since then and she hasn't mentioned it. She asked me how I was was but made no mention of my Gran. I called her today to ask if she'd have my DDs overnight before the funeral since it's a long drive away and I don't want to be rushing around in the morning. She said she'd rather not in case they don't settle. I asked her if she'd like to go to the funeral herself and she said "whatever's easiest" but didn't ask for the details.

Now, I have to find someone to look after my kids. Everyone I'd usually ask is going.
My MIL is normally lovely but I'm really hurt. Arrgghh.

YANBU.

Maybe she doesn't want to upset you by bringing it up but her attitude about looking after your children while you go to the funeral is a bit shit tbh. Can your DH not speak to her?

I would gather than by her not asking for details means she doesn't want to go. "whatevers easiest" doesn't mean anything. You should have asked her what she meant.

Different people have different attitudes towards grief, though. She may have been brought up to think that you don't mention death. If she's saying 'whatever's easiest', it sounds as if she is thinking about you and how to help you, I think, despite not wanting to have the kids?

Has she ever had your kids before?

Dragon - she has the kids about once a week. My DH is supposed to have them but usually finds a reason to drop them off for a couple of hours!
They've napped there but only spent the night once before.

Crazy - My DH is ging to have a word

Maybe that once went pretty badly.
Who's having them during the day?

It might have gone badly, but I doubt it. They are both very good sleepers.
I hoped she'd have them from the night before until after the funeral which, I know, is a long stint. I hoped the circumstances would mean she'd be happy to help me.

Could she stay at yours the night before? Then she would have to have the DCs for the actual day?
Btw does seem a bit off, can understand you feeling hurt.

Let us know what she says?

Sorry for your loss x