to think that people should exercise a smidgon of sef control when baosting about their offspring?

[MilliONaire]

I know someone who just cannot control themselves when talking about their children - seriously she says things like 'isn't she the most beautiful child you have EVER, EEEEEEEEEEVER seen?', 'aren't her lips just gorgeous', doesn't she have the most beautiful hair you have ever seen?' 'She is so smart and clever and in touch with my feelings (really, she actually said this' ) Err.....no, I have a dd too and naturally I think MY dd is the most beautiful child in the world - I'm hardly likely to agree with you that your's is am I?

Even having a conversation with her is hard as she is forever putting words in your mouth about her child, she whips out her phone mid conversation to start showing you photos and immediately starts with the 'don't you think she is like an angel in this shot? Aren't her eyes just fabulous, doesn't she have the cutest nose etc etc' It has the opposite effect on me and I actually want to tell her the truth - the child is really not a looker - but how can you actually say this? She is decidedly odd looking. I have wondered if the mum is overcompensating, but have now come to the conclusion that the old saying 'a mother's love is blind'

I could not go on and on about my dd like that - the facebook updates are unbelievable!

The thing is I have known her forever and normally get on very well with her.

Anyone else unable to stop themselves boasting continuously?

I never came across parents who didnt think their kids were the cutest and most wonderful kids ever. But the OP's friend sounds ridiculously over the top. That would make me want to vomit. you can't say to her that you don't think she's a looker but what you can do is not react. Every time you see a photo, etc just shrug. She'll get it.

I genuinely like hearing stories about most friends kids because most of the time it's just stories. Silly things they did or naughty things they did, etc.

I have the same thing with a girl at work, she gushes every day about how her DS is the cutest baby in the world. I smiled at her and said to her, well he would be to you. And she looked at me and said "NO, he IS the cutest baby in the world". I kid you not. Every day it's photos and more photos. I don't mind the odd one or two now and again but every day is a bit much. He is a sweet baby with a very cheeky grin but he isn't that gorgeous. he's already hugely overweight as she feeds him on Mcdonalds french fries and other high fat food and she has done since he was old enough to be weaned. He's incredibly fat but she thinks it's funny. None of my business and I'm not saying anything.

Well my son was quite ugly when he was born, can't see how people think their kids are gorgeous when they are not! He's very very cute now though!

bluddymofo & A1980 - that's exactly IT!

I know it is incredibly cruel of me to even think it, never mind write it here, but her dd is really not a looker - she too is overweight, & has a very odd shaped head - huge forehead. None of this matters a jot and she is a sweet kid, except the mum is constantly going on and on and on about how insanely beautiful she is. When it started I thought she was being sort of funny, but I quickly realized that she was deadly serious. Sometimes it's hard not to react, but of course I would never tell her that her dd is not a looker [shocked]

Tatty..my own mother can be very like that, I have to be careful what I tell her as every single detail will be passed on to her sister and then onwards to various friends etc, I swear they know more about my life than I do. But in my mum's case I think it stems from her thinking this is the way you communicate. She is rarely able to really engage in a subject iykwim? I could say to her 'my leg fell off' and she would say 'oh dear that's dreadful, I met a young woman in the supermarket the other day and she had a baby boy, lovely child about 10mths old, sitting up, anyway she was saying her friends mother's leg fell off'....etc etc And I am quite sure she uses 'my news' in the same way with her friends & other family members.

On an aside: does every mother REALLY think that their child is beautiful? I mean truly? Is it a sort of parenting love sickness? Hmm..this question may need it's own thread...

Well I was a very cute baby, so my mother was justified

Apparently when Charles II was born his mother said 'He is so ugly I am ashamed of him'

Presumably she doesn't realise she's doing it or that it annoys you (why would anyone annoy a friend purposely?) She probably just says what she's thinking and doesn't "censor" it for others.

My DD, 5 has recently started doing music at school. I use the term 'music' lightly. We are talking a bit of percussion and the odd recorder. A boy in her class sits out of this lesson. This is because, according to his father, said boy can already play the piano, classical guitar and flute. Therefore banging a triangle will be detrementsl to his musical development.

Another friend of mine who has him round to tea said he couldn't even manage chopsticks on the piano and didn't know which way round to hold her DH's guitar. I feel sorry for the boy - his dad is a twat (so is his mum actually - they ate famed for ludicrous boasting where their DS is concerned)

my children ARE wonderful and scrummy - but actually so are all my friends children!!!

What a boring person your friend is,you have probably barely scratched the surface,she is probably going to be the first in her age group to talk already briliant at gymnastics.Reading will come quite naturaly to her and as for adding up well a genius .At 3 years old she will be quoting shakespear probably.Your friend is going to have to get a grip on herself.If i unfortunatly sat next to her on a plane or long coach trip i would quite simply tell her how utterley boring she is and needs help, but this is very difficult for you and any one arround her,as a suggestion why dont you obtain information about university enrolement next time she starts, pull it from your pocket and say could you pass this onto your daughter she may be interested,or just post it off annonomously to her and see if she stops, just a thought.

I also don't think the issue is restricted to children and it isn't unkind to be frustrated about it just because it's about children

I think anyone talking about and bragging about the same thing CONSTANTLY no matter what it is, every time you see them would piss anyone off.

Imagine someone who boasted about how good their job was, or how much money they had, or how many holidays they could afford every time you saw them. it would piss you off chronically.

If there's one thing I've learned in life it's whatever people say about themsleves and their kids, the opposite is normally correct. Ask yourselves why they feel the need to brag and boast about their kids, they're insecure about them.

The one thing to be hoped for is that those children will have the selfconfidence and good sense to wean their parents off the habit. My nephew has got the art of putting his doting parents in place fine honed to the point of perfection: he is a genuinely nice lad and astute enough to see that a constant running commentary on his musical/academic/athletic prowess is hardly going to do his street cred much good.

oh this thread is making me feel soooo much better!

i agree with you OP in that i would love to compliment my friend on her DS speech as he genuinely is doing so well but as you say she has already dished out the compliments for me which makes it all the more irritating.

she has said a lot of things that have made me feel rubbish but i have had to see that it is her own insecurity and not mine.

as you see - it is MY son who is the cutest in the world - yes yes MY son!!

and my cats are cute too!

YANBU to be irritated. If you've been friends with this person for a long time be straight with them... tell them they have become a baby-bore. "Yes she's great, I get it, but can't we talk about something else?"

ah but Riven you havent met MY son...!

Sometimes this doesn't change with age!

When we were teenagers, my friend got Ds in all her exams. No one would have thought any less of her. Except her mother - the town gossip and busybody, bless her she's lovely really - had told the whole town she would get As. Then went around claiming that she HAD indeed got those As. It made a laughing stock of my friend. I felt so bad that her mother had her on this pedestal.

Same friend got married and had a baby. I was obviously happy for her, but angry with her mother because around the same time I got my PhD and her mother said 'Yes but Muira's not a proper grown up like my daughter, she's married AND a mother!'

I have known a couple of mums like this:

First was at a baby group when DD1, now 12, was a baby. This woman had the "ultimate wonder baby", who crawled at 4 months, walked at 8 months, (supposedly) talked at 6 months, etc etc. And didn't we know about it?! Each week we were treated to an update of what little X was doing, and never mind she was sure our little ones would soon follow suit. Then it was things like "I'm worried that she'll get bored at pre-school, she is so advanced". DD1 is at the same school as "wonder baby" and says this girl is very competitive and goes round boasting all the time saying things like "My mum and dad have got more money than everyone elses". Very odd family really.

The second I've met on an online forum when I had DS, and each and every one of her posts is a boast or contains a boast of some kind about her DS. If anyone else posts a question or a post needing support, she will jump on with a boast "Now I know little X is reaching is milestones very early but it does't necessarily mean there is anything wrong with your child". I'm sure you all get the drift.

Boasty, obsessed-with-their-children mums often end up with no friends, and are the type that everyone slags off and avoids.

yep, my 'friend' also said to me about my DS 'oh isnt little summerbird so quiet - he has always been happy just sitting there whereas my DS is so active - and i encourage it dont i darling (cue lots of tickling and giggles)'

My DS had just got over a chest infection and was still a bit floopy bless him - i was 6 months post natal at the time but i still get upset remembering that one!

I think all my friends must think i am so rude because i rarely compliment their childrens looks - it just doesnt occur to me and i never boast about my own ds.

Its got to the point where they are always the first to say "oh isnt mclazy junior so lovely with his blonde hair etc.." and i am left having to come up with some afterthought comment about their dc which then just sounds contrived!

Does anyone else find dads with new baby girls are the worst. one recently stood over me holding her going " isnt she beautiful , no really isnt,ISNT SHE? " i though i may have to shed a mock tear over her 'georgeousness' just to get out of the house alive.

I have to strongly disagree here... MY cat is the cutest in the world.

My first daughter was a very pretty baby, my youngest looked bloody ugly in her first newborn snap (the one they take at hospital and charge you a fecking fortune for) I felt guilty for thinking it, but it was true

Interesting reading everyone!

I probably should have added that the child in question is now 4 - this has been going on a while and shows no sign of abating

LeQueen, I take an almost identical approach to you! I am very vocal in my love and adoration of dd in private but would feel very odd indeed doing it in puclic or speaking about her like that to a friend.

This friend was in my parents house one time when I brought dd home to visit. My dd was about 18mths & and friends dd was about 6mths, she did not have her with her on this visit. But an old family friend of my parents called and paid my dd a compliment (well, she WAS, and IS totally gorgeous, y'know [big grin] ) and my friend pipes up 'oh you should see the stunner I have a home, here she is on my phone, isn't she amazing, did you ever see anything like those double chins and cute button nose etc etc. I swear! My mum got really odd about it afterwards (how dare anyone take the limelight from her gdd hahaha!) In the same conversation my friend said to me & my sister 'dh & I were laughing the other day remembering a conversation we had before dd was born - saying we hoped we'd have the balls to admit if our baby wasn't good looking. Thank God we never had that problem' I had to go make a cup of tea to stifle the giggles as my sister was just staring at her practically open mouthed! It is sort of funny if it wasn't so bloody irritating!!!!

Wrote similar on the other thread but will say again. A friend of mine is always saying how beautiful her dd is and has thousands of photos of her and is always putting new ones on facebook and also her profile pic is her dd not her

millionaire that has totally trumped my stories! i am going to remember your friend forever now when i am feeling crap!

you are a saint!

It must be annoying. Have to say though, and I may get flamed here, that if it annoys you THAT much maybe it's due to your own insecurities?

I just smile and nod if my friends are ribbiting on like that. If they're just talking about how cute they are, or that they did well in a spelling test, where's the harm? It's natural to be proud. I love that my parents still celebrate my achievements.

I differentiate between the above, though, and boasting about FUTURE stuff - I disagree with "oh little johnny is so clever even though he's only 3 I just know he'll be an actor/surgeon/lawyer..." it's not really boasting, it's putting pressure on a child and making your love seem conditional.