to hate it when dh comes in and gets food before dinner

[whatkatydidathome]

Have made dinner, it just needs heating through (cottage pie). dh likes cottage pie. Am putting kids to bed and working. Kitchen is untidy and kids lunches need finishing (have done half of them). So dh gets home and is now making himself toast to eat. AIBU t be annoyed that he doesn't help get the last few things done so that we can both have dinner together? He will eat the cottage pie but not as much of it and it will all be delayed as he will no longer be hungry so will not see any urgency in actually getting dinner onto teh table.

Tbh if your dh gets home this late dinner should be ready
he must be starving
I'd eat before him and get packed lunches out of the way too
but then I eat at about 7!

We usually eat about 10 ish every night. dh is late home because he went shopping on the way back from work. Dinner is ready, it just needs reheating.

i would have eaten with the children and he could have his microwaved!

Flaming hell compo, did we just travel to the 50's and I didnt notice?!

I dont see her asking for anyones opinions on her ability to make lunches or have dinner on the table!

OP, YANBU, especially if he knows dinner is there and just needs warming up!

YANBU.. just ban him from the kitchen! or tell him to warm it up and get it dished out while you get on with other stuff...

I'd be irritated.

Why can't he reheat the cottage pie for both of you while you get the kids into bed, or the other way round?

Although, tbh, I'd be a bit fed up if I got in at 9.30 and found children still up (unless teens who could put themselves to bed later) and stuff still needing to be done.

Is he making the toast to be awkward and avoid getting lumbered with anything?

yanbu

One has to ask what the heck you are making that requires breaking off from lunch boxes to put kids to bed ...... and how an you make packed lunches in a messy kitchen ikk

Seeing as slinging a cheese saland sandwich and a handful of grapes in a box is hardly construed as a task and a half .... although I dare say I run the gauntlet of ymmy-mummies who produce couscous and celery dippers with just a smidgeon of sauted parnip crispets as a form of one-up-manship

I'd be irritated, but I am a hypocrite as I may well be the partner returning home and having a snack to keep me going.

I find that unless there is an emergency of some sort then I have to eat by about 8. Even if it means leaving stuff such as packed lunches until after dinner.

I'm mainly irritated because he always takes the edge off his appitite before meals. He never, ever cooks or reheats anything for us. Our kids do not sleep but that is a separate issue :( They are always up until this time but mainly stay in their rooms. They came out because dh came home andmade loads of "hello kids" type fuss.

Why all the criticism of the OP?!

She said that she was working and he swans in, ignores the dinner ready to be reheated and makes himself something else. She asks AIBU to be annoyed about it, she did not ask....

Should the kids be in bed?
Should I be more organised?
Am I crap?

FFS, things work in their house as they do, just answer the Q or leave her alone!

toisgarcons I was making bread - it had to cool down before I could slice it. Also boiling eggs - again had to cool before I could add mayo. Can't see issue with messy kitchen - the bits of the kitchen that I used to make the cottage pie are untidy. There are other bits that I can make th
e packed lunches in. He is making toast because he is hungry he always does this - it bugs me as I think that you shoudl be hungry before dinner, not simply slightly peckish because you have just eaten loads of taost.

Cottage pie is pretty unruinable, why not put it in the oven when you put the DC to bed with some foil over it to stop it burning? It'd need a good 30mins to heat through, and if you needed to speed up up, Nuke it.

The kids lunches could be paused while you eat dinner and the kitchen tidied etc afterwards.

I agree with you the toast etc is really bloody irritating, H does the same, but he isn't coming in from work at 10pm, he is just annoying.

Yanbu. My DH does this unless dinner is hitting the plate as he walks in. I don't understand why a sharing size bag of crisps is a good idea before dinner, but that's just me!

When I was a kid there was a concept of ruining your appitite (which a Milky Way would never do ). This concept seems to be completely lacking from dh who appears to feel that he should never experience hunger.

yanbu, if he was that hungry he could have nuked the cottage pie in the microwave, that would have taken the same amount of time as making some toast.
I am one of those people who needs to eat there and then if im hungry, so thats what I would have done.