to be f*cked off that DH "didn't have time" to get me a birthday present?

[LCRLCR]

Especially when he had time to play golf on Monday and this is the first birthday of our married life plus am totally exhausted looking after 4 month old DD? Feeling v sorry for myself - shouldn't he have made time?

Not just you - DH didn't buy me anything, but passed off a purchase he wanted for himself as a gift for me. And it didn't arrive until 2 weeks after my birthday.

YANBU unless there is a big surprise for you tonight and he's just winding you up. I'd be really hurt. My OH is useless with cards, doesn't see the point in them blah blah blah but after 7yrs of birthdays, valentines, christmases... it still upsets me.

Oh, you are NBU and Happy Birthday!

Sometimes, its a communication thing but I would think by now he would know that you take your birthday seriously (some people don't for some reason) and what your expectations are. I think you need to point it out in no uncertain terms now to avoid any future "issues".

Obviously an apology and his understanding that this is a serious issue for you are the most important things right now.

By that, I mean start looking for a fantastic, super-expensive what-I-have-always-wanted pressie and he will just have to suck it up be gracious about it and take you somewhere lovely so you can show off whatever you choose.

If he doesn't, please reference Lysistrata by Aristophanes.

Hold out and see if he has pretended to forget. But if he genuinely forgot, that's shit. I would be most displeased.

Happy birthday though.

YANBU. I would be furious and upset in equal measure. My tantrum would be monumental.

I'd be in tears too LCR, but maybe he'll suprise you? Fingers crossed and happy birthday! (or hope it gets happier anyway!)

My ex never bothered with mine much or Christmas. The year I had twins by c section 2 days after Christmas he gave me a tenner and told me to go to the shops. He was utterly selfish and thoughtless throughout our marriage. It wasn't just about the gifts. So glad he is now my ex.

Throw out his golf clubs and tell him to get shopping.

YANBU at all. I love birthdays and make a big deal out of everyone else's, make cakes etc and often feel a little bit let down if others don't reciprocate with as much a card (a text is NOT the same). DP has, after a few years, finally got this and does try really hard (including getting nice wrap and stuff) but I still feel a bit that he didn't get me flowers when `i know he walked right past my favourite florist. as others have said its not the "thing" its the thought or lack of that hurts. I think you should try to have a serious conversation with him - its not trivial if it upsets you this much.

Yanbu- Dig out his bank card (if the moths haven't got to it) and order something gorgeous for yourself, twie as expensive as he would normally spend too

I don't get the get his bank card/credit card comments. Don't most married couples have joint accounts, share money etc? Its just the same as buying herself something.

Didn't have time is a pathetic excuse.

i remember my teenage son, who lived in the same house as me, so it wasn't delayed in the post, gave me a birthday card a day late once.

I handed it back telling him thankyou but it was an insult and that he'd had 364 days to remember to get me one, and so could he please save it for the next birthday to save himself the bother of having to buy me one again.

He was mortified, he didn't like upsetting me and to this day says that taught him a big lesson about love and respect!

So yadnbu

was with ex dh for 18yrs and he hardly ever got me anything,felt sorry for dcs when they were too young to go and buy their own.Used to always make an effort for him too.I got stroppy every b'day but he never bothered apart from one yr when he bought me a big full length cardi from Evans-i was a size 10.
The last yr we were together i had a gucci watch -he was shagging someone else who he left me for after xmas-be carefull what you wish for.