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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I think I am an awful mother

24 replies

bupcakesandcunting · 05/01/2011 10:48

Last year, DS was offered the swine flu vaccination. I declined because I was dubious about him having such a new vaccination and because by the time it was sent for, it seemed to be dying out.

Fast forward to now and DS has started pre-school and swine flu has flared up again. I think DS is the only one in his class not to have been immunised, so I feel lousy on several levels; one that I didn't get h done because of my own paranoia and two because if he gets it he will be the devil child who infected the others :( Now it's too late and I feel like a prize pillock.

OP posts:

faverolles · 05/01/2011 10:50

You are not a bad mother. I didn't have my ds vaccinated either, nor did many of the other mothers.
My dr has told me that if there are any complicating factors (asthma or other underlying illnesses) then vaccinate, if not, it's completely down to personal choice.

MorticiaAddams · 05/01/2011 10:51

If he does get it then he's only going to infect others who have also chosen not to have the jab so they can hardly blame you.

FlamingoBingo · 05/01/2011 10:51

YABU If he gets it and the others are immunised, then they won't get it surely...otherwise what's the point in immunising.

I actually do think you're completely mental though to post about deciding not to vaccinate in AIBU. You're going to get a roasting and feel even shitter than you do already.

I suggest you hide this thread now!

(And, FWIW, mine aren't vaccinated either, so I'm not going to give you a roasting!)

Original poster

bupcakesandcunting · 05/01/2011 10:53

Hadn't thought of it that way (will only be infecting other non-vaccinated children)

I did debate posting in here about this. Oh well bring it on. I can take it. [hides under blanket with torch]

OP posts:

altinkum · 05/01/2011 10:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RealityIsShaggingWithIntent · 05/01/2011 10:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SlightlyJaded · 05/01/2011 10:55

No roasting from me either. I didn't vaccinate because I honestly believed it was media-hype and everyone was being hysterical.

DS is now at nursery and i have no idea who has been vaccinated and who hasn't. Having said that both my DCs were pretty ill over Christmas with what may or may knot have been SF and GP told me that there are so many strains of flu around this year that it's almost irrelevant IYSWIM

You are definitely not a bad mother or who wouldn't be worrying about it now :)

NorwegianMoon · 05/01/2011 10:55

you are not a bad mother. Would you have your child vacinated against normal flu? if not then why would you vaccinate against swine flu? my children havent had it and never will

LaWeaselMys · 05/01/2011 10:56

I didn't vaccinate DD either for the same reasons.

Oh well! Too late now. It is still pretty rare anyway, just experiencing the normal upswings all flus have at this time of year.

Bogeyface · 05/01/2011 10:57

If everyone else has vaccinated and you havent then he is much less likely to catch it anyway, so I wouldnt worry.

TwinMummy30 · 05/01/2011 11:03

i haven't vaccinated mine as well and was asking myself the same question. what if they get the flu and there will be complications? what if I vaccinate them and this will cause some problems? i think we are trying to protect our childrem in all possible ways which can be wrongly interpreted by other people. i just hope i've done the right thing. good luck to us all :)

TheLadyEvenstar · 05/01/2011 11:07

I haven't vaccinated either.DS2 is due to start nursery soon. TBH I am not overly concerned as we all had swine flu last year.

I wouldn't personally say it is much worse than seasonal flu.

Quenelle · 05/01/2011 11:07

My surgery told me this morning that they're not even offering it to under 5s unless they have other health issues like asthma.

Agree with previous poster though, an awful mother wouldn't be worrying about it at all.

shirazgirl · 05/01/2011 11:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iloveyankees · 05/01/2011 12:09

Unfortunately I did the same! daughter had just had 2 immunisations done and was in a right state. Straight away after they then offered her the flu jab but I said no mainly due to state my daughter was in.

I do regret it now though :(

Lynli · 05/01/2011 14:32

If you wish to do it, why is it too late now?

racmac · 05/01/2011 14:54

Well i wouldnt worry about it - i was going to get me 2 done last year but I couldnt make the app as the car broke down. They then refused to make a new ap as the guidelines had changed and they were stopping it for all under 5's anyway.
The older one is now over 5 anyway - not a lot you can do about it

hippohead · 05/01/2011 15:07

You did what you thought was right at the time- after giving it some thought. Those are the actions of a good mother.

I have just called my GP's about the vaccine and I was told they have none available and are waiting on government advice as to whether to order some. It seems like a monumentally confusing cock-up to me!!

I do wonder if there is an element of getting more nervous than necessary because there is a lack of vaccines available? I hope that makes sense- I mean we can't get vaccinations which makes us want them all the more.

Whereas last year there were vaccines available but many people felt it was a storm in a teacup. Obviously its not a storm in a teacup if ones friends or family are ill with flu but I, for one, am struggling to work out what the situation really is.

TickettyBoo · 05/01/2011 15:49

YANBU - I agree with hippohead that you made the decision you felt was right at the time, and many people didn't take up the offer of vaccinations so you're not alone.

I had the jab when pregnant (many didn't) and am glad I did as dh may have had it according to a nurse, he was ill for 2 weeks with all the symptoms and thankfully lo and I are both ok so it might still be in my system! (or I'm just lucky and she and I are made of stronger stuff hee hee)

MsKLo · 05/01/2011 16:00

you are not a bad mum!

i had mine vaccinated and a i glad i did but there are sooooo many decisions to make and it is hard to know at the time if you are doing the right thing!

can you not get it now or privately if it bothers you?

KaraStarbuckThrace · 05/01/2011 16:12

You are not an awful mother - if you are then so am I! I was offered it last year for my DS, but again like you it seemed that by the time he got the letter with his appointment, the crisis was over and there hadn't been many cases of it where I live anyway.

I have had it myself this morning(recommended as pg), I was able to do more research on it plus the swine flu has been more prevalent here than this time last year.

Yeah it did cross my mind to feel guilty for not giving it to DS last year but I felt I made the right decision at the time, with the information I had at hand.

3kiddies · 05/01/2011 16:14

Hello, I didn't get my middle child vacinated as by the time he was offered it it was April and just about over. The nurse said don't worry we have plenty of vaccine and if it returns in winter you can get it then. Anyway i rang up a couple of weeks ago to try and get him vaccinated along with his baby sister only to be informed that under fives aren't included any more. I've offered to pay for it private and been turned away from everywhere i've tried as their under 18.

I feel awful for not getting him vacinated but also incredibly innoyed that i'm powerless to protect them due to the silly rules about under 18's.
I am however making sure that they wash their hands as soon as we get home and carry hand gel, which i apply as i pick them up from school. I am also feeding them with plenty of fruit & veg and giving them vitamins suitable for children containing vit D.
Fingers crossed we will all stay healthy and of course it's a mothers job to feel worried about our little one's.
I worry about my daughter who's one 13 months old.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 05/01/2011 16:21

I didn't vaccinate mine either...she has had all her others...it was instinct...that's all I ca say. I had never had any worries about any other inmunizations but that one did not sit right so I refused. I don't feel bad...trust your instincts.

theoriginalscummymummy · 05/01/2011 16:26

I didn't let DD have it either, and lots of my friends didn't take their LO's to have it. I don't think you're in a minority!

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