to be seething quietly with husband

[cheezyquaver]

I am gritting my teeth and resisting the urge to call him and call him some choice names.

He went back to work yesterday after having 2 weeks at home, I am at home with DD going back to work tomorrow.

He sent me a text earlier today

"morning hun, how is your day going?"

I sent him one back describing the fact that my DD was currently having a scale ten strop about more television. (she'd had an hour while i was doing some jobs) I had said no she had screamed and threw some toys, I told her that when she was ready to get dressed and come and say sorry for being so stroppy I would help her get dressed and walked away and busied myself in the kitchen.

he's just sent me one back saying

"Dont be afraid to give a warning and time out if required, she must learn the boundaries. Just be calm and controlled. I doubt she would be like that if I was there"

AIBU to want to slap his silly patronising face?

YANBU

This is the trouble with text, sometimes it comes out wrong.

He might not mean anything by it, he might mean that its only because there is one of you there, etc, rather than simply him being the one in control.

Or not.

Dont text him. Have a discussion with him later about how the text made you feel, by all means, but if you choice-name him you wont get to have the moral high ground and air of the deeply wronged!

OMG. He is brave. Or stupid. One of the two!

Easy to have all the answers when your not around isnt it?!

Condescending git! Tell him can do all the childcare if he knows so much and you will go back to work and be the one to phone in choice titbits of advice a few times a day!

Does he say this sort of thing often?

you're

See, I read it differently. I read it as him saying 'If we were both there, she probably wouldn't be playing you up because one of us could distract her with something else'. But I suppose you know your H and what he is likely to mean.

No i'm not soft, but I'm also not a great believer in the time out method.

For common garden everyday strops, I find it much more effective to state what I want from her and simply let her get on with it. She soon calms down when she realises she doesn't have an audience.

I have used T.O if she has been cruel or deliberatley destructive, but I prefer not to if she is just throwing a paddy. I just find it escalates and gets us nowhere.

My husband is a bit more authoritarian.

If my dh sent me a text like that I'd think nothing negative at all - he would be right, she would have got used to the attention of both of us being there.

DD only ever plays us up when we are on our own with her - together our united force makes her think it's not worth it

I'm with Chickens - I think he meant if you were both there. But badly worded!

YANBU I'd be livid. I'd be having words with him when he got home.

Discipline policy is v. similar in our house, I'm like you with tantrums, dh would have our toddler living on the naughty step

I sent him a text saying "patronise much? with a smiley.

He has just apologised and said he reread the text back and realised how it came across. He said he intended it to be supportive and practical.

I love a happy ending

I'd be seething with him calling me 'hun'

Well I didn't like to mention that, Follyfoot...

My first reply and it?s from a very different view point. Your DH actually text you to tell you he was thinking of you (a really nice thing) he was hoping for something similar back but unfortunately what he got was a list of issue that you were having nothing about was he ok. Most men probably would not have responded. Therefore to answer your question AIBU to want to slap his silly patronising face, Yes in my opinion YABU.

Haha, "Hun" is common pet name in our household as is "babe" but I know lots of MN's hate hate hate it.

Horses for courses.

I dont mind the Hun, I do mind him being an arrogant cock and he knows it!

Itsapuppet

I paraphrased slightly- we had actually had a couple of texts previous to the patronising one, going back and forth as in me saying "yes babes, fine thanks had better days-did you sort out your meeting and your issues with the landrover parts?"

but I thought they were too mundane to add to the OP.

Sorry, read it as wrote. Glade you sorted it with him. :)