Is it right: the less you tell your DH the better is for you

[Colourworld]

I remember my aunt used to tell me when I get married not to tell my husband everything what had happened during the day and in my life in general. The more you tell you DH about yourself the more they blame you for everything bad.
My mum used to tell me many times, "I am silly for telling him about this and now he reminds me about this at every possible opportunity". Indeed he used to criticise her a lot, for this and that. It is like having both a friend and an enemy in your life.
My DH sometimes blames for doing things which I did not even do. He would tell me my kids are like that because I did not do something properly. In fact, he never has time to play with the kids even to read a book but if he does not like something then he would blame me. And most of the time he is wrong for what he blames me. I wonder whether it is upbringing. I think his father is similar. If something is wrong the woman is a scapegoat. Does it happen to you and what is your great advise?

If your husband is being horrible to you just because you're the nearest one to blame then I would say that's because he's a nasty personality rather than because you've been too open or because of his father.

Having said that, I don't think it's necessarily wise to be 100% candid with anyone if you don't want to be. Keep something of yourself to yourself..

Should add... the behaviour you describe is called 'bullying' and it's not normal in a loving relationship.

I think its just a classic case of "I will blame you so I dont have to blame myself"

Instead of him thinking that he should spend more time with the kids and therefore he has part responsibility when things go wrong as he wasnt involved, he thinks that you were involved therefore he can blame you. Its to avoid his own guilt at his lack of action.

I think we all do that to a greater or lesser extent depending on the type of people we are, but doing it constantly and refusing to acknowledge any responsibility in a relationship would be cause for concern.