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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH wants daughter to go to a private school.

92 replies

SecretMuslim · 05/01/2011 02:30

I'm sorry friends, but I can't risk this being found by my DH so I set up a temp account, I hope you understand in the mercy of Allah(PBUH)

For some info, my DS is privately educated at a fine school and I am very happy with him there. But DH wants also for my daughter to attend this school. I think this will not serve her best interest in life, as they do not teach things that will be important to her like home activities, taking care of a family etc. I know its politically correct these days but I don't see why Math and business skills will do her well. We came to this country and with a special community grant can afford sons school while DH looks for a job (I stay at home with DS2 (7 months) and cannot work due to pregnancy), and sending two children to a top school would also give us less disposable income to spend.

Sorry again for the secretive account but it is paramount to cover my tracks. Thankyou to those in the last week who helped with my other problem (You know who especially)

OP posts:

FellatioNelson · 05/01/2011 09:46

There is such thing as a community grant - a one-off payment I think for people facing unusal hardship or circumstances, such as someone homeless become settled and needing household items, or money to visit relatives in prison if they are very far away, or people leaving priosn. Never heard of it stumping up public school fees before though.

(Although some disadvantaged children do get private education, but not through this route I'll wager.)

Litchick · 05/01/2011 09:47

Hilarious.

Muslim woman (with dodgy accent) uses government money to pay for private school...but wants her daughter to stay at home baking bread.

Love it.

Blatherskite · 05/01/2011 09:48

We heard you the first time TFP

Litchick · 05/01/2011 09:49

Ooh, I've got a better one.

Friends, as a muslim I am deeply offended by bacon sandwiches. AIBU to believe they should be made illegal for the sake of community cohesion?

Maelstrom · 05/01/2011 09:51

I'm starting to think that the worst in this thread is not going to be the opinion of the OP

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 05/01/2011 09:51

well, it's the kids first day back and i'm getting ready to go to the Jade fountain to celebrate with a few others.

Anyone care to join me ?? It's far more exciting than this drivel

FellatioNelson · 05/01/2011 09:53

Why don't you sell her into domestic slavery for a few years OP? It's as good as packing her off to boarding school, but it's free, and when you get her back once she's of marriageable, child-bearing age (which should be around 11 or so) she will be able to polish silver, scrub floors, act ahem dutifully towards closely related vile old men of your choosing, and all sorts. And they won't have filled her head with any silly notions of reading and writing or thinking for herself. It's a no-brainer.

By the way, you have had her bits sewn up haven't you? Can't do these things to early in my opinion.

FabbyChic · 05/01/2011 09:54

I know of a muslim child, he was my sons friend, he ran away from home and hid and contacted social services himself because his family wanted and pressured him into the Muslim faith.

He decided at 14 he was gay, in the community within which his family lived this would result in death if they found out.

You chose to come here to live here to get freedom and a better way of life.

Don't impose your views on your children let them find their own way.

Blatherskite · 05/01/2011 09:55

I'd love to Apocalypse. Google maps tells me if I set off now, I should be there in 4 hours and 22 minutes. Save me some prawn crackers...

FellatioNelson · 05/01/2011 09:55

There we are - just for you Maelstrom.

Are we doing irony today, or not? Let me know before I put my foot in it, won;t you.

NorwegianMoon · 05/01/2011 09:55

One of the most important messages in Islam and from the the Prophet is that education-for everyone. You need to be as educated and use every opportunity that comes to you.

There no schools in the uk that specialise in cooking or sewing, this is something beautiful and special that should be handed down within the family.

It is not ideal to send one child to private and the other not, you are paying for one education and not the other, id be very surprised if your daughter didnt think to herself why wasnt i worth the cash at 16.

K12Mom · 05/01/2011 09:58

Jade Fountain looks lovely, ApocalypseCheeseToastie. I'm really jealous. That's what we are missing out here in Dubai, a good Chinese.

gorionine · 05/01/2011 10:02

I think private or not is irrelevant , SecretMuslim, as in the UK (I an I should think in most countries even Muslim ones) schools girls are tought maths and other things just like boys are even in non private schools.

I think if she has the opportunity to get a better education you have to let her have it. Things like cooking, sewing and keeping a house you can teach her that yourself (and to your DS too BTW!)

I have not seen your other thread but inch'Allah everything is going to go for the best for you!

theevildead2 · 05/01/2011 10:04

Surely the Peace be upon him (PBUH), wouldn't be reduced to an internet acronym like LOL?

theevildead2 · 05/01/2011 10:07

Anyway she will need math skills to create bread recipies, and business skills to haggle shop keepers, so for the reason YABU

gorionine · 05/01/2011 10:07

It is reduced this way in most books, not an internet acronym thedevildead

FellatioNelson · 05/01/2011 10:07

gorionline are you suggesting she put another child through private school on the strength of a community grant meant for emergency needs, whilst her DH is still unemployed? Shoorly not?

That would a wicked misuse of tax-payers money. This child is not going to need a private education (or indeed any education in anything) where she's going.

K12Mom · 05/01/2011 10:09

Believe it or not, theevildead2, it is reduced to an acronym. If you are talking about the Prophet Mohamed, you will write "Prophet Mohamed (PBUH)".

Well, this is how I understand it. I am not a Muslim, but have lived in the Middle East for 3 years and I also speak Arabic.

gorionine · 05/01/2011 10:10

Fellatio, no I was just making a point about giving her daughter the same chance she gives her son. I did not go onto the affordability bit because IMHO in that instance it is not the primary issue. OP is asking on grounds of education, not on ground of affordability. If she had I would have simply said that if you cannot afford it do not do it. Not sure I am conveing well what I mean though

FellatioNelson · 05/01/2011 10:11

I have seen it written thus also.

theevildead2 · 05/01/2011 10:13

lol

noddyholder · 05/01/2011 10:13

Is this daftpunks new alter ego having a laugh?i think so.........

FellatioNelson · 05/01/2011 10:14

No I understood you perfectly - not sure you are understanding me though.

Are you not English? Maybe my SOH isn't translating well!

gorionine · 05/01/2011 10:18

Fellatio, if the question was to me no, I am forin indeed !

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 05/01/2011 10:21

Hee hee, i'm fully expecting hordes of marauding mumsnetters banging down the doors of my favourite restaurant

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