Told parents I dont want to see them anymore?

[hurtalot]

They have really peed me of,for as long as I have known them they have never really had time for me,hence why I lived with grandparents till Grandad diesd when I was 17.

I grew up feeling unloved and unwanted by them,I said that would never be the case with my children,this christmas parents gave nothing to my kids but said when I was feeling better they would give money to us,I was ill with flu this still has not happended.

In my opinion I dont care about the money its about the thought and there was none on their part,infact I feel it was lame,and I have told them so.

They look after my dd and I recently dd has been toilet trained,but my mother cleans my sisters house so my dd has been left with my dad where she refuses to use the toilet whilst he cares for him,unfair on him I know and her.

I have expressed to mum can she not take dd for a few hours with her or go later,the fact is my mum does not want her and has expressed this to my sister ,I have found this hard to except as she has my other sisters ds all day once a week.

I lost my temper today and told them they are lame as parents and are never there for me or my kids and I want nothing to do with them anymore.

I am now in a postion tonight to find alternative childcare for my dd whilst I work,as my dd is important to me and yes its my problem but they have made me so angry as its embrassing as my dp's parents help alot which makes my parents seem uncaring aibu?.

Also my other sister has fallen out with them over another matter so I know its not me,I have tried so long to pretend my life was normal but deep down I know the truth.

Thank you for listening

hurtalot - I totally sympathise, and I wish I could cut my parents out of my life. My dad is barely in my life, so that's OK. I only stay in touch because of my wonderful 98yo gran. But once she leaves us, I certainly won't bother with my dad any more and I doubt he'd notice.

My mum is a different story. She lives closer to me and visits all the time (to see my DDs, she has no interest in me). She never asks me about my life, just rattles on about her golf, disapproves of everything I am (though she's very pleased I'm doing a PhD now as she can brag to her sisters). I told her the other day I was miserable as a child, she was amazed, said she always though I was very happy and had lots of friends. What a laugh! I was bullied relentlessly through school and had no friends. When a boy at school started to pressure me about sex, she just grounded me as I was obviously leading him on!

She came to visit this weekend after I asked her not to. She spent all weekend complaining that I was grumpy and told me over her shoulder on the way out of the door that I'm a very hard person to like.

I wish I could rant to DH about her more, but he lost his mum about a year ago. She was a wonderful women, couldn't have asked for a better MIL, and I'm so sad my girls won't remember her.

I found myself wishing today that his mum was still around instead of mine. A terrible thing to think.... but we can't always control what we think, can we?

Anyway, sorry for the thread hijack... just wanted to let you know you're not alone!! Hope you find a solution.

Annielobeseder im so sorry about your Dad,and your Mum makes me think Im being petty really.

It sounds like you are a great mum to your Dd's and dont let anyone ever tell you any different,your dd's will grow up and they wont ever forget you ,as you sound strong,loving and dependable I wish you all the best ,thank you for taking the time to listen to me it means alot xx.

they only have her for 2 hours but clean sisters house in that time. Sounds silly but they should really be spending quality time enjoying her

Thanks Skyblepearl my thoughts initially,shame they dont think so.

She is the youngest and the last of the GC's so I thought this would be even more of a reason.

It seems it is better your parents do not look after your DD
So it is good you have found alternative arrangements

I hope so Msklo, will know more tomorrow as childminder is calling me regarding three hours a week ,if not my friend will help out whilst looking .

Preschool is an option which I will find out about tomorrow, if not wait for availability or I speak to work and go from 5 days to four days, just 2 hours a day,or I quit.

hey hurty -

cool news on the childminder - then you can just go up there for an hour when YOU want and not see them so much. xxx

Good luck hun. Work sounds promising too - remember you get 80% of your CTC paid for too so good luck xx

I wouldn't expose your DD to horrible people like this tbh.

They proved they don't care about you, trying to be nice (but diplomacy is not my strong point so I mean this in a nice way), but did you think they would care about your DD?

It is shit that they treat your DD and their other GC differently. It is their loss. 2 hours a week is nothing to ask of a GP.

Don't feel guilty about cutting them off. Make a clean break and concentrate on family that do matter. How is your relationship with your sister?

I am speaking as someone who was brought up by GPs as my 'mother' walked out on me when I was 4 and we haven't heard from her since. I would never ever let her back in my life or have any sort of relationship with my DS. I did maintain contact with some of her family though.

yey you!! (pseudo here changed my name becauser I can) Lifes too short to be upset all the time! xxxxx