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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate being called m'am or madam by shop assistants

124 replies

BadaBingBang · 04/01/2011 07:08

Is it necessary to give me a title? M'am is a like being called Mum, and Madam puts me in mind of the lady in charge of a brothel.

OP posts:
HappySkiingGardeningNewYear · 04/01/2011 07:17

What would you prefer? I like it personally as it is polite, and much better than "oi you".

MaryAnnSingleton · 04/01/2011 07:18

I like it -it's a courtesy-and that can't be bad

Bunbaker · 04/01/2011 07:20

YABU. They don't know your name so what should they call you?

onceamai · 04/01/2011 07:25

Go often enough and buy enough and they will start calling you by name.

Original poster
BadaBingBang · 04/01/2011 07:27

It is possible to do the entire exchange without using madam and be polite. E.g:
SA: Can I help you?
Me: Could I have a chicken and salad sandwich please?
SA: Certainly, that's £2.50 please
Exchange sanwich for money,
Me: Thank you
SA: You're welcome

OP posts:
Avantia · 04/01/2011 07:34

YABU - a least they are acknowleding you and not standing or sitting there chewing gum! Went to a DIY store yesterday - not B & Q I always find there staff very polite , girl on the till didn't even look me in the eye = managed to give me an 'allright ' then proceeded to give me my change whilst looking the other way , I had to move my hand to judge where hers was going to drop the change !

onceamai · 04/01/2011 07:50

Surely no-one's ever been called madam when they're buying a sandwich.

Hardly anyone calls me madam - except in very very posh shops in the West End where they think I'm too scruffy to buy anything. I remember once they were incredibly snotty and a famous actress walked in, aunt of friend, and hugged me and their faces - oh it was gorgeous.

Original poster
BadaBingBang · 04/01/2011 08:01

I was called madam or m'am, at least three times during said exchange at sandwich shop. Maybe he was new and trying it out, or maybe I was too scruffy.

OP posts:
galletti · 04/01/2011 08:14

Thinks it's nice and respectful, especially when manners seem to be on the decrease nowadays. Think men being called sir is good too!

fishie · 04/01/2011 08:17

i am currently eating a sandwich. i was called madam during the procurement of it and thought nothing much of it other than to think to myself I wonder what age one becomes a madam.

TrillianAstra · 04/01/2011 08:37

They used to call me miss.

Madam is what you call grownups.

It's like when parents talk to their children and say 'move over here so the lady can get past'

I am clearly old.

sarah293 · 04/01/2011 08:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Chil1234 · 04/01/2011 08:47

YABU... It's nice! Like being in Upstairs Downstairs. :) I find foreigners more likely to be particularly hot on the formal courtesy titles. 'Madam', 'Sir' etc., especially if they are a bit older.

BendyBob · 04/01/2011 08:53

Ooh I love it. If it can be modified to 'Modom' so much the betterGrin

It's rare nowdays; wonderfully polite and old fashioned and harks back to A Better Time when ladies shopped for gloves and a good hat. I wish I lived back then sometimes..more often the older I get in factBlush.

LostArt · 04/01/2011 08:57

YANBU, I hate it. But I am very touchy about my age and I see it as a reminder that I'm no longer a young slip of a thing.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 04/01/2011 09:11

When I worked in a theatre bar in the West End, American men always called me "Miss"

"Excuse me Miss, could I get a napkin with my Bourbon?"

I liked it...made me feel like I worked in a diner!

NutellaIsMyHeroin · 04/01/2011 09:13

Try living in Dubai! There, even some colleagues called me maam. Even when I said 'please just call me Nutella' , they would them come out with 'OK, maam Nutella.' Arrrggghh!

maighdlin · 04/01/2011 11:04

I don't mind it in the UK but HATE it in the US where every one calls you m'am and it sound horrible with the american accent like m'eeyyym. like nails on a blackboard to me and they use so much they say it about 4 times when you order a drink.

BaggedandTagged · 04/01/2011 11:09

"Try living in Dubai! There, even some colleagues called me maam. Even when I said 'please just call me Nutella' , they would them come out with 'OK, maam Nutella.' Arrrggghh!"

LOL- but the best one is when they say "Hello ma'am-sir"

Um- can't you tell? I would hope that I am fairly obviously a woman.

In Asia, its actually rude to tell someone in a service role not to call you ma'am or sir because apparently you are diminishing their status by so doing; something to do with the fact that by diminishing your own status, you're also lessening theirs. I haven't quite got my head around that one yet.

higgle · 04/01/2011 11:10

Another supporter here - I just love being "Madam"

charliesmommy · 04/01/2011 11:14

I prefer it to being called "love".. and my husband prefers to be called "sir" rather than "mate" or "pal"...

Ladyofthehousespeaking · 04/01/2011 11:15

Only Americans who I have been serving have called me ma'am!!

Here it's 'love' although a woman went nuts went my colleague said 'cheers love'...weird!

BaggedandTagged · 04/01/2011 11:16

.... or Governor, although that's mainly the preserve of London cabbies. I quite like it though (not to me obviously- to my "male companion")

UnquietDad · 04/01/2011 11:16

heh-heh... Anyone else thinking of the Dick Emery character who would bridle at "Madam" and say "Miss"?

Or am I just showing my age...?

GetOrfMoiLand · 04/01/2011 11:21

I love being called Ma'am in america, especially in the deep south.

It's MARVELLOUS.

Mind you, when I was younger and lived in Devon, I used to hate being called 'maid' by older people e.g. 'there ee go then, maid'

Nobody in Devon calls me maid anymore, as probably am hatchet of face and too old. And that pisses me off no end Grin

I love being called madam in shops, but it hardly ever happens. I don't like being called love, or duck (in Nottingham).