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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to eBay something I was given on Freecycle?

178 replies

quandry · 03/01/2011 11:41

My Mum's freezer stopped working and I asked on freecycle if anyone had one we could borrow/have to tide her over until she got a new one.

A man offered us one, saying he was just about to freecycle it when he saw my request.
Said we could have it, and could we freecycle it after we'd finished with it.

Mum now has her new one, so we need to get rid of the temporary one. Thing is, it's actually in really good condition - only about 18 months old, and I reckon I could get at least £80 for it on eBay.

I can't decide if it would be 'wrong' to eBay it. After all, when we picked it up the man said we were 'doing him a favour' by taking it away...

I can't decide... £80 would certainly be useful after Christmas! Blush

OP posts:
hatesponge · 03/01/2011 15:54

Why don't you sell the 'replacement' freezer on Ebay, and your mum keep the freecycled one? That would seem to remove the current ethical dilemma.

Or is that a less attractive option because you'd have to split the proceeds with the other family member?

TrillianAstra · 03/01/2011 16:24

"If you thought it was OK to sell it, you wouldn't have asked us...!"

Hahahahaha

Have you ever read AIBU before OpenToLawSuits?

That's a fanatstic answer - YABU, because if you thought you were not BU then you wouldn't have asked us.

Applies to all questions ever.

lucky1979 · 03/01/2011 17:01

I would ebay it.

I think it's a different situation from the baby clothes - someone lied to get something from you under false pretences, they never had any intention other than selling the items.

You said what you wanted the freezer for, and have used it for that purpose. When he said pass it on or freecycle it then he may well have meant "don't just take it to the tip - keep it out of landfill" rather than "dont sell it"

elinorbellowed · 03/01/2011 17:06

Freecycle it!

iloveyankees · 03/01/2011 17:06

I would personally freecycle it.

All items I have received of freecycle (mainly toys) I have donated to charity shops or freecycled when no longer wanted :)

HughRinal · 03/01/2011 17:28

yabvvu

and you know you are.

a woman leaving a refuge with nothing could use it
someone else's mother who can't get to the shops and really doesn't have any money could use it
the family who lost their job and their home could use it

I never post on aibu, but your post saddened me so much
Enjoy your pieces of silver

StayingFatherChristmasGirl · 03/01/2011 17:49

I also think you should freecycle it, quandry. As another poster has said, you could get the relative bringing down your mum's new freezer to drop the other one off at yours, so you could freecycle it from there.

I accept that the man didn't 'make it a proviso' that you freecycled it onwards when your mum no longer needed it, but he did suggest it, and you didn't make it clear that you wouldn't be doing this, and would be considering ebaying it instead - had you done so, he might have changed his mind about letting you have it, and therefore I think you have a moral obligation to freecycle it now.

Strictly · 03/01/2011 17:51

Wow that is why I'll never use Freecycle.

The point is to help other people in need as well as getting rid of the stuff. The man could have ebayed it himself and made some money.... but he decided to offer in on freecycle hoping it would be of use to someone in need.

However OP deicded to basically take the p**s. Nice.

Tryharder · 03/01/2011 17:58

Well, the nice fluffy thing to do would be to freecycle it. But sell if you want to. [shrugs]. Freecycle is not a charity, it's about keeping stuff out of landfill so I personally wouldn't feel too bad.

lovemy2babies · 03/01/2011 18:03

Freecycle it, tis the good nature of it all. I would hate it if anything I offered on freecycle was then sold on.
Freecycle is not to be taken advantage of to make money out of it.

OpenToLawSuits · 03/01/2011 18:05

You should name change to Judas.

MrsMooo · 03/01/2011 18:09

I think yabu, and you'd have just as much faff and waiting around with EBay.
It's totally up to you, but the nicest and most moral thing to do would be to pass it on to someone else in need - people are constantly asking for this kind of thing so you could just wait till you see an appropriate wanted add if you're concerned about time wasters

babybouncer · 03/01/2011 18:10

The purpose of Freecycle is to keep things out of ladfill. The rules clearly state that people ARE allowed to make money out of things they are given, just so long as they don't put them in the bin.

Freecycle is not the same as a charity that aims to give to those who are less fortunate - it just doesn't want things that still have a use to be thrown away.

Therefore, if you can be bothered to ebay it, full in the knowledge that it may cost you money to do so if no one buys it, or if someone in some way someone rips you off, and all the associated hassle, that is still within the spirit of Freecycle.

If someone wants to make sure that their goods go to those who need them most, there are all sorts of charities that things can be donated to.

penguin73 · 03/01/2011 18:14

Depends on whether you have any principles/conscience or not - he asked you to freecycle it and you are now looking for excuses to justify not doing so. How lucky your mum was that this gentlemen used freecycle, how sad that you have benefitted from that but now want to benefit further by not doing what he asked you to do.

In your heart I think you know the answer, otherwise you wouldn't be asking the question and trying to justify your actions by getting others to condone them.

clutha · 03/01/2011 18:16

totally against the whole ethos and point of freecycle

this is regarded as one of the most common abuses on those sites, and if all your local members knew you were selling what had been freecycled to you, they would be pretty annoyed

SauvignonBlanche · 03/01/2011 18:17

I think you should freecycle it.

babybouncer · 03/01/2011 18:18

Quandry - I'm quite shocked at some of the responses you're getting on here. Seems like most people don't really understand the purpose of Freecycle, but are very quick to make moral judgements about someone they don't know.

lucky1979 · 03/01/2011 18:20

I just want to check, but people haven't got the wrong end of the stick here have they?

She's thinking of selling her mother's FREEZER. Not her actual MOTHER.

Otherwise this is the most ridiculous overreaction I've ever seen. Judas? Thirty pieces of silver? No one is being betrayed and sent to death here. It's only white goods.

Seriously OP, ebay the freezer.

missalien · 03/01/2011 18:20

How about your local emmaus ? They normally collect too in a van and proceeds help homeless people keep a home

NormaSnorks · 03/01/2011 18:23

There are some rather 'holier than thou' attitudes on here, and although it IS in AIBU, I can sort of see where the OP is coming from.

The view that Freecycling is all about giving to the 'most needy' is rather misguided (even if desirable in an ideal world).
I suspect stuff on Freecycle rarely gets to the 'right sort' of needy people anyway. I think people who get hung up on this are the people who give to charity because it makes THEM feel virtuous?

I have no illusions about the reality of what might happen to stuff after I give it away. To be honest, I sell what I can be bothered to on eBay, and anything else goes on freecycle (or to the charity shopes). If someone chooses to go to the effort to sell it on, then good for them (although I'd prefer they didn't lie to obtain the item). It's a kind of modern-day 'rag & bone man' service really, isn't it?

We don't really know anything about the OP. The comment about "£80 would certainly be useful after Christmas" was unwise (although I suspect it wasn't really meant).

Your mum sounds pretty deserving to me, OP, and you should certainly get her tooth fixed, one way or another.

Perhaps your mum should keep this freezer, and your relative freecycle the other one?

Rockbird · 03/01/2011 18:23

The whiff of burning martyr from the op is quite overwhelming...

penguin73 · 03/01/2011 18:24

I think the issue here is partly the whole ethos of freecycle but more that the man she got it off asked her to freecycle it when she had finished with it - not legally binding of course but he gave her the freezer in good faith that she would do so. She chose not to tell him that she might not do so. Of course he may have still given it to her but she didn't give him the chance to make that decision so that is the moral issue imo.

Lynli · 03/01/2011 18:37

You can justify anything if you really want to, but it wont make it right. You know you should freecycle it.

NormaSnorks · 03/01/2011 18:41

In the OP she said he "Said we could have it, and could we freecycle it after we'd finished with it"

But later describes it as a conversation more along the lines of

"Glad it's going to be used... perhaps you can pass it on or freecycle it again when you're finished"

Only the OP knows which it really was.

If it was honestly the latter, then I don't think the bloke sounds like he gives a toss whether it is sold/passed on/ freecycled?

To be honest, the OP sounds a lot like how I used to feel when I was looking after an elderly relative who lived near us... a bit worn down by the constant organising, sorting out, extra costs, responsibility etc

Just a thought Sad

OpenToLawSuits · 03/01/2011 18:53

Isn't there a Frame where you live? (some sort of charity-not too sure what they do with the money but they employ disabled people) they come and pick up unwanted furniture....not too sure if they handle electrical goods...I don't shop there I just gave them a sofa once...