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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider leaving the dc for 1 week

58 replies

startofnewterm · 02/01/2011 20:56

My cousin lives in oz and his mum wants to visit him this summer, she is not a good traveller and would like someone to go with her. She is not much older than me.

My mum would love to go with her but she is terrified of flying so she has suggested that I go (I am very close to my aunt and speak to my cousin on skype 3-4 times a week).

Not only that, but she has offered to pay and said that she will help my dh with the children. She has suggested that I go for the full fortnight with my aunt but I couldnt bear being away from the dc for that long so I have been considering going for a week.

DH is ok with it, havent mentioned it to dc yet. They see my mum and dad lots so would be very comfortable with nan and grandad helping out. I'm a SAHM so time off work wouldnt be a problem either. There is nothing really stopping me apart from the dc.

I know they would be in good hands but I would miss them terribly and its not that quick to get back from oz in an emergency.

Its also probably the only chance I will get to go to oz. Aaaarrgghh, what would you do?

OP posts:
SparklyJules · 02/01/2011 20:59

I would go. Life really is too short to miss out on an opportunity like this.

Morph2 · 02/01/2011 21:00

Slightly off the original question but i wouldn't bother going Oz for a week (does the week include travel time??), by the time you get there and get over your travel tiredness it will be time to go back. Also surely your cousin would need someone to travel back with his mum as well so you wouldn't be able to do this if you only go for a week.

Milliways · 02/01/2011 21:01

I would have my bags packed already :)

But, I am a terrible Mum who left children aged 5 & 1 with a childminder while I went with DH on a free 4 night trip to the Bahamas Grin

charliesmommy · 02/01/2011 21:02

Go.. the kids wont mind. Opportunities like this are once in a lifetime usually.. make the most of it. And a week in Oz really isnt enough, it takes almost that long to recover from the flight.

thisisyesterday · 02/01/2011 21:03

how old are they? i wouldn't do it myself, but then my children are quite young

NotAnotherNewNappy · 02/01/2011 21:04

Depends, how old are your DC? You'd really need to go for 2 weeks or at least 10 days for it to be worthwhile.

spidookly · 02/01/2011 21:04

Go for 2 weeks.

alfabetty · 02/01/2011 21:05

I don't think you can live your life on the basis that you have to be within a certain distance of your children. Without being morbid, anything can happen at any time! You can't be ruled by the 'what-ifs'. And your DC will be with their father.

If you (or your DH) had to go away for a week with work, no-one would bat an eyelid, and there'd be very little question in your mind about whether to go or not. So why not do it because you want to? Doesn't hurt to have a week to yourself, lots to tell the DC when you get back, take your laptop so you can Skype them. And have a lovely time! Smile

everythingchangeseverything · 02/01/2011 21:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisisyesterday · 02/01/2011 21:06

also:

where will you be going? our summer is their winter, so it may not be all sunshine and beaches

Original poster
startofnewterm · 02/01/2011 21:06

8 & 7. DH is a very hands on dad, he'd be good with them (although the house will probably look like we've been burgled!).

I'm a bit put off now with the comments that a week isnt long enough. Dont think I could do 2 weeks. If the dc were teenagers I could probably find it easier, I dont know.

OP posts:
curlymama · 02/01/2011 21:07

I would go, but then I have left my dc's every year with their Dad for a week at a time since the youngest was 5 to go away with DH.

I think if you are leaving them with a parent and a Grandparent who love them dearly you have nothing at all to worry about. Except the fact that you will get no time to do anything when you get there, and you may get a bit upset on the plane on the way out. But the dc's will be absolutely fine, they will get bonding time with Daddy, who will have a chance to see what you really do and will appreciate you all the more when you get home.

alfabetty · 02/01/2011 21:08

And I think a week would be OK if traveling without children, but honestly, once you are on that plane and are on your way, having done the 'leaving', there's very little difference between a week and ten days or so. The DCs settled down and get on with things while you are away, and so do you, you don't 'count the days' in the way you might think you will, before you go.

everythingchangeseverything · 02/01/2011 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frgr · 02/01/2011 21:09

with all the variables you've outlined (no issue with time off work, the age of DCs, and so on) , i would go like a shot!

enjoy!! :)

Original poster
startofnewterm · 02/01/2011 21:10

Curly, DH still wouldnt have a clue what I do! The dc would be fed, washed & dressed but there would be no housework, ironing, bathrooms cleaned etc. They would be happy though, I know, and thats the main thing.

OP posts:
charliesmommy · 02/01/2011 21:11

When I was 7, I would spend all school holidays either staying at my cousins in Devon, or at my Grandparents in Blackpool, I loved it.

A couple of weeks away from them will do none of you any harm at all.

IAmReallyFabNow · 02/01/2011 21:11

YANBU.

Go and go for 2 weeks.

She will need support on the way home too, won't she? Wink

scouserabroad · 02/01/2011 21:12

I would go, especially as you have no problems re. childcare.

It might be a good experience for your children, it might bring them closer to their nan and grandad :)

PaisleyLeaf · 02/01/2011 21:13

Who's going to fly back with her?

mrsjuan · 02/01/2011 21:13

At those ages, and the fact that they will be with their dad and grandparents I would go for 2 weeks. Go for it!

SleightiesChick · 02/01/2011 21:14

Seriously, there's no point going for a week. You will barely see or do anything what with jet lag. It is definitely the worst of both worlds. You could Skype the kids while away, couldn't you?

Horopu · 02/01/2011 21:14

I left my 2 (aged 3 and 1 at the time) for 10 days to go to Alaska (once in a lifetime chance). I loved it, didn't pine for them and they had a great time.

Go for it.

2 weeks for Oz definitely, 1 week isn't worth it.

Original poster
startofnewterm · 02/01/2011 21:16

Paisley, she's going to see her son in Oz with or without me. Its not going to stop her going, but she would really like some company. Also, he cant take the full 2 weeks off work when she visits so it would be nice for her to have someone to sightsee, eat, drink with.

OP posts:
roslily · 02/01/2011 21:16

I would go for the 2 weeks, but that obviously makes me a bad mother as my ds is 16months. I would miss him, but he would be fine.

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