to think my mum is an attention seeking hypochondriac?!

[smartiebubbles]

This has been going on for years but phone call earlier with my mum was the final straw!

She often claims to suffer from angina. One time she said she'd been suffering with an angina attack for about a week but whilst choosing herself new glasses, it got worse so she finished choosing her glasses and then went to her GP.

Today on the phone she said to me that she had an attack this morning. She then said that my dad had been snoring badly last night and so maybe that was why she'd had an angina attack!

It's a shame because she does have some genuine health problems (had breast cancer about 12yrs ago and now all clear; suffers with arthritis) but she seems to exaggerate things. She has a steroid injection every 3-4 months for her arthritis in her shoulder. She had her last one the Thursday before Christmas and commented to another family member how it was a good job she had it that day as she wouldn't have been able to drive later the same day without it. Steroid injections don't work that quickly!!

Do I sound like a totally unsympathetic daughter or does she sound like an attention seeking hypochondriac (or both?!)

I think you sound a little unsympathetic.

I guess I do a little.

You know what it's like with family though. Sometimes things annoy that can seem trivial to the outside world.

Another comment she made a few days ago was to my dad when he asked her about booking a holiday for the two of them next year. She replied by saying that he has a holiday coming up in January. What she meant was his "holiday in hospital" as he's having a minor operation!

YABU. my hubby had steroid injections and they can work almost immediately.

as for the angina, that is stress related, so again I can see her point

Smartie - i totally sympathise, my mum (and that whole side of the family) are just the same. Can never have a cold, it is always Flu, never a dodgy tummy, it is Gastric flu etc Drives me mad!

Sounds like she is someone who is not coping with illness particularly well.

scurryfunge - I think you're right about her not coping well. I don't know what to do to help though. If I try and be sympathetic, it just seems to magnify things even more.

On Friday I phoned her and told her DH's cousin had been killed in a car accident and although she did say "pass on my condolences", she then went on to talk at length about how tired she was after having my brother and SIL to stay over Christmas. I wanted to scream at her to get some perspective but I know that that would have been unreasonable so I didn't!

You are being a little unreasonable, but I am too when it comes to my mum so I understand..
My mum is a bit of a moaner, and much as I try to be sympathetic, I just feel irritated and impatient after listening to her for a while. It doesn't help that she won't take medical advice, she seems to want loads of attention but not actually do anything that might help

Maybe try to acknowledge her difficulties but at the same time offer ways of dealing with her worries. People often deal with terrible occurrences by diverting to something more mundane, so do not be too harsh about avoiding the car crash question.

Ok, well mum and dad are coming over for a meal tomorrow so I'll do my best to not only be patient but try to be a bit constructive!

I think you are being a bit unsympathetic - a cancer DX can is a fairly life changing and stressful event. It is quite common for people who have had one to worry about their health afterwards - there is always a fear in the back of your mind.

Maybe she's just voicing her health worries out loud and it's coming over as hypochondria. Arthritis is very painful, and pain can be quite depressing, and if she has angina (not sure from your post whether this has actually been x or not?) I would guess an attack is pretty scary, because I assume it feels a bit like a heart attack.

Anyway - give her a break if you can, sounds as if she's had a few scares.