to expect people to reply when invited to a birthday party?

[thecaptaincrocfamily]

My dds 5th birthday is this saturday and the invites were sent out before the school closed in the last week of term. I have had less than half the parents respond .
I know it is a busy time but surely a phone call?

yanbu- its rude not to reply!!

Used to always happen when mine were little - and that's 18 years ago.

Drove me mad too - can't believe how rude people are.

Hope it goes well - and no doubt you'll end up with loads of guests - I always panicked that there'd be just two or three!

yanbu - I think it is so rude, my children are older now so not so many parties but used to write a little notelet to let people know if they were going to a party or not.

YANBU. I have had the same thing with my DDs christening - have had to chase people for a reply. I hated having to do that as it felt really awkward but I needed to know for catering, etc

It is rude, but I don't think it's deliberate. Most people will probably feel awful when they realise they have forgotten. It's just a very busy time of year, don't take it personally.

I think its a timing issue.

Maybe the invites got mixed up with the mountain of christmas cards in the schoolbags?

Everyone will ring you a day or 2 beforehand

yanbu, it is rude, even a text to say yes or no would do me, my dd birthday was a few days after xmas, so i do appriciate it that people are generally busy at that time of year, i couldnt afford a proper party so dd asked if she could have a sleepover, so i said yes that would be ok, but due to size of propery could only invite 2 people.

i figured that if when the mums rang to rsvp and said that they didnt like the idea of a sleepover (as at 8 yrs old some people dont) then i had a back up plan in mind to swiftly just turn it into a pizza & movie night and the girls would be dropped off at home afterwards by us, however not one of the parents rsvp'd with yes or no, so i really had no idea what was going on, unfortunetly come day of dd birthday she was all excited as you would expect, but nobody showed up :(

I don't think it's got anything to do with the time of the year. My DDs were born Sept and December and for both I have always had to run around chasing for replies to party invitations.

Yes I know people are busy (me too - I work and run a house and kids) but I always reply within a couple of days as I know the stress it can cause when trying to organise a party.

What's worse than that - 2 children didn't turn up at DD2's last party even though I had asked the moms face to face and both had confirmed their children would attend. I was disappointed because numbers were limited at the party venue we chose and there were several friends we could have invited instead, and it cost over £10 per head! Have seen both moms since and no mention was made of not attending the party!

Just bloody rude, no excuse.

Hope your DD's party goes well.

YANBU-welcome to the hell that is child parties. It is nothing personal. I remember people not replying, then turning up along with extra siblings in tow asking I hope you don't mind but I have brought x and y with me and then expecting food and party bags for the extra univited children.
Thank goodness dd is now a teenager and birthdays consist of her asking 2 friends if they fancy going to the cinema and for a bite to eat afterwards. All communicateed by text with zero problems!

YANBU to accept good manners and understanding from a fellow parent.

YABU to expect to get it unfortunately. I had 3 no responses from people that stood next to me in the playground - I had to keep on asking them! Even gave a mobile so a txt would suffice!

Even worse two didn't turn up - one was poorly, mum rang me in the morning and then bless her, she drove round to deliver ds a present the next day.

The other didn't even call, just didn't show so I had to pay for their place and meal at the indoor play place. Saw her everyday in school for 2 terms after that and she never said a word, not even a little gift for ds,, an explanation or an apology.

Some people are just totally ignorant it seems. Not the dc's fault though so you just have to grow a thick skin.

Hope she enjoys her party..!

YANBU - so many people are unbelievably rude - hope DD has a lovely party

MissBubbles - I always hound people for replies to invites and assume that a no reply means they are not coming.

I have always had to chase about half the people invited and when no reply has been given that person has invariably not turned up.

It seems no reply means no for some people. Very rude, but that seems to be the way it is.

Sorry your DD was let down MissBubbles.

OP - afraid it is inevitable that you will have to chase people. I usually send a quick email or a text.

next time i will plan better, and try and chase up parents for a yes or no, silly of me i know, but it just didnt occur to me as id never had this problem in the past in the last area i lived, my dd was sad but her auntie cheered her up by offering to take her and her other auntie who is same age as my dd back to hers for their own sleepover and to do baking :)

op - hope dd has a lovely birthday either way :)

Kids parties - dontcha just love em?

Glad that now DCs are older they have smaller parties with best friends only.

As I know most of the mums pretty well getting replies is not such a problem.

Three cheers for antie for saving the day MissBubbles!

my dd begged me to buy her a tent for her birthday, and i dont mean a kids pop up type wendy house thing, but a proper tent lol and guess who will be the lucky person who has to sleep with her in the garden ??

I have a similar problems with my kids having birthdays around Xmas/New Year.

Very few replies and many people not turning up. My daughters in party in December had 3 replies, but in the end 8 turned up. I tried to make it easy with a mobile number so people could just send a quick text.

A few years ago one mother did come up to me in April time and apologise. She said she had just been cleaning out her daughters school bag and had found the invitation.

Slowly they grow out of invitations and my 13 year old has point blank refused to send out invites. Of course trying to get her to let her friends know about about the party is another problem.

Not much help, but I am in exactly same situation. Its DD's first proper party (she will be 4) on saturday. She is so looking forward to it, but so far only half her friends have replied. Am getting stressed on her behalf! Just want it to be perfect for her. So, heres hoping it works out for both of us!

DD was invited to a party last term. I wrote a nice reply and took it in to pre-school to go in the birthday girl's book bag. A few days after term finished, I realised that DD hadn't had any Christmas cards for the last couple of days of term so wondered whether my RSVP had actually got delivered. I gave the mum a call to check and sure enough she hadn't got it Was fine as I called but would have been very embarrassed had we turned up at the party unexpectedly. Could the same have happened here?

YANBU though!

Never, ever send replies to invites in with DCs and expect them to be delivered!

My Dcs are still too dizzy to reliably deliver anything.

I always reply direct by email or text.

thecaptaincrocfamily
We're at a party on Saturday! I RSVP'd before Christmas [smug face] but only cos I'd forget otherwise - nothing to do with Christmas!
I have all the same issues as everyone else:- not replying and turning up =costs more money
replying and not turning up =costs more money
expecting you to pay for uninvited siblings =tantrums for party bags
ignoring me in the playground = so bloody rude!
I have put a reply by date on invites last year and it seemed to be a bit more successful

Op - really, just send a follow up email or rext. I guarantee some of the non replies never received the invite.

No-one will mind.

text, that is, not rext!

Its awful isn't it- my two SS's had a party in November, I hassled nursery every day to get them to hassle the parents into rsvping! In the end I did get everyone to reply except for 2 but it was probably only because the nursery staff wanted me off their case! The party was a bouncy castle in a hall so wasn't too much of an issue if people no-showed, I would never have a soft play party or anything where you pay in advance per head, I've been to a couple where the minimum is 10 and only 6 or 7 have showed up!

Whenever my lot get an invite I reply that day, then it can't be put off!

We had one girl who was invited for several years to both ds and dd's parties. Not once did her parents reply, but she always turned up.

So rude - but they seemed nice people.