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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect my parents to at least pretend to be pleased for me?

16 replies

Louplet · 02/01/2011 14:49

I found out a few days ago that I am pregnant with DC3.

DS1 is 4 in a few weeks and DS2 is 7 months.

DH and I had planned to try to have a DC3 though not quite so soon so it was a bit of a shock though a welcome one.

Told my parents yesterday only to be asked if I was happy, if it was planned, if we were planning any more and told by my mum that she was worried and shocked. Neither seemed the least bit pleased for us.

I know it is a small age gap and I did have a serious illness in between having DS1 and DS2 but all went fine when I was pregnant with DS2 and no reason why it will not be the same this time.

I just feel really let down. They could at least have pretended to be pleased for me surely?

OP posts:
SugarMousePink · 02/01/2011 14:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ladyofthehousespeaking · 02/01/2011 14:54

I think it just sounds like they are worried for your health, having a poorly dd must be terribley worrying and upsetting so I'm sure it's just that.
Give them time, I'm sure they will recover from the shock :)
congratulations :)

mutznutz · 02/01/2011 14:55

Sounds like worry and genuine concern to me. They probably need some time to get their heads around it.

theevildead2 · 02/01/2011 14:59

They sound really worried, put yourself in to their position. One of your dc has been very ill and will soon have 3 children under 4.. NOt easy work!

They love you and will be happy for you when the shock wears off.

Congratulations btw and look after yourself.

JamieLeeCurtis · 02/01/2011 15:02

Yes, I'd also agree - give them a little time. You said yourself it was not planned and it was a shock - it is not surprising that their first thoughts were to be worried for you. TBH I would be in the circs you describe and I don't even know you !

Congratulations, and I hope they will congratulate you wholeheartedly very soon

Original poster
Louplet · 02/01/2011 19:20

Thank you all. That does make me feel a bit better. Actually DC3 was planned in the sense we had decided to just let nature take its course. We just hadn't anticipated it would be so quick.

OP posts:
humanoctopus · 02/01/2011 19:23

Are they actively involved in the children's lives so far?

If so, they may be a little bit worried about how they will cope (you know, when you give birth, etc if they are expected to help out).

curlymama · 02/01/2011 19:25

I agree with the others, they are just concerned for you and about how your body will cope. It will be tough for you, and you are their baby, so they are bound to be abit worried.

Also, if they didn't know you were going to be pleased, they may have been being cautious about their reaction just in case you were feeling freaked out, which if you were would be totally reasonable.

But, you're happy, so congratulations! Grin

insertexpletive · 02/01/2011 19:26

I can really sympathise. My FIL said "oh dear..." when we told him we were expecting dc2

dd was twelve months old and it was very much a planned and wanted addition to our family. I had experienced three mc's before dd and was really upset by his reaction.

He seems to dote on ds now though.

Many congratulations

CheekyLittleStocking · 02/01/2011 19:28

i got this when i mentioned to my dad that i was pregnant. Mum was happy for us but dad said 'is it congratulations' Hmm

JamieLeeCurtis · 02/01/2011 19:41

yes, sorry, I see you say it was planned but happened unxepectedly quickly... Well Done !!! (I think Wink Grin)

JaneS · 02/01/2011 19:43

Congratulations, you must be thrilled!

I expect your parents just have foot-in-mouth syndrome.

BreastmilkDoesAFabEggnogLatte · 02/01/2011 20:29

I've just started a similar AIBU... though at least it's not my parents shocked to hear I'm pregnant. So no real advice but just some empathy. I hope you have an easy and uneventful pregnancy... congratulations!

perfectstorm · 02/01/2011 20:31

I'd be really hurt in your shoes too. In fact my DH's stepmother asked a lot of questions about our finances when I was pregnant and I was really upset - it wasn't "the right time" but we were happy all the same (she has no kids so I think isn't aware that there is never a perfect time). YANBU.

Original poster
Louplet · 03/01/2011 15:15

I forgot. One of my Dad's comments was to the effect that having had two already we should know by now where babies come from!

I am sure they will come round and are just concerned. It just deflated me rather and made me think I shouldn't be so happy about it.

Parents have a way of making you feel like an irresponsible child don't they?

They look after DS1 now and then but not that often. In fact DH's DPs have looked after him more often.

My brother has 3 DCs and they see them fairly regularly.

In fact they have told him not to have a fourth!

We are happy anyway and that is the main thing. There is no right time after all and having been ill makes me appreciate being able to have and look after my DCs even more. They are all blessings as far as I am concerned.

Breastmilk. I think I saw your thread. Can definitely empathise. Hope it all goes really well for you. X

OP posts:
Original poster
Louplet · 03/01/2011 15:18

Still bfing DS2 so no one else other than DH looks after him yet.

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