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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think its totally irresponsible and ridiculous to set up a facebook page for your 2 year old??

55 replies

MakeAnotherCuppa · 02/01/2011 09:59

was talking to a friend yesterday and she and her DH has set up a FB page for their 2 yr old son so they could 'tag' him in photos!

He has over 200 friends on his profile and all his baby pics and he's 2!

AIBU to think this is weird and irresponsible?

OP posts:
pigletmania · 02/01/2011 10:41

Exactly SFCG, why put your child in that vulnerable position, giving their name, birthdate, location etc. The parents have no privacy settings for this FB account and let all and sundry by friends with him Shock, hence that is why he has 200 friends. I have 200 friends on my FB, I have been around for 34 years so these are people that I know or have known. I have the highest privacy settings on FB, I have had freind requests from a few men that i dont know which i obviously have rejected.

tyler80 · 02/01/2011 10:43

My niece has a had a facebook page from the day she was born.

My sister set it up to have greater control over who sees those pictures than just posting them to her facebook page where everybody who is her friend could see them (and to avoid boring people who just aren't interested).

I don't think it's unreasonable really, I don't see the harm in putting pictures of your own children on the internet.

pigletmania · 02/01/2011 10:43

Seeker you are missing the point. would you allow random people to be friends with your child in RL? Would you have no privacy settings on FB. Its not that these parents have set up a FB account, its that they are going about it in the wrong way!

pigletmania · 02/01/2011 10:45

Yes I understand Tyler, but I expect your sister is careful who she allows to be a friend of her dd and not all and saundry. I expect that she has the max privacy settings for it, which is not happening in this case.

tyler80 · 02/01/2011 10:48

The AIBU "to think its totally irresponsible and ridiculous to set up a facebook page for your 2 year old??"

And in that respect the OP is being unreasonable. I've not read the whole thread, so no doubt other information has been drip fed along the way, but I was answering the initial question.

seeker · 02/01/2011 10:52

Well, i would not be surprised if the average 2 year old has 200 family friends and relations who would want see pictures- I still can't see the problem.

FunnyLittleFrog · 02/01/2011 10:52

It is stupid.

Don't want to come over all Orwellian but doesn't anyone think that putting all that personal information out there for anyone to access (now and in the future) might just be a little dangerous? And in the case of a child it's irresponsible because it's not even their decision to do it.

pigletmania · 02/01/2011 10:57

Well seeker the op has said later that there are no privacy settings, and they allow any random people to be friends with the chil Hmm. It is silly to put your childs info out like that.

juneybean · 02/01/2011 11:01

What got me thinking the other day and it's a bit of a knobbish thought.

Have they asked the child if they can put the pics up? I mean say in 20 years time are they going to remove the pics when they child asks, especially if there are some embarrassing pictures on there.

It just got me thinking the other day when a friend had uploaded a weird edited pic of their kid.

Magna · 02/01/2011 11:04

YANBU.

I had a facebook friend who set up an account for her 3 year old son. He had over 200 friends, privacy settings non existent and he was playing farmville every day Hmm

I reported it to facebook and the account was closed down. There is an age limit for a reason.

theevildead2 · 02/01/2011 11:06

I don't see why people think they have a right to put their child on the internet when FB owns the photos forever. The fact that a pedophile may or may not see them is almost irrelevant, why can't we have any privacy anymore. When this kid looks for a job, or if he ever gets in the papers, these photos will be out there for everyone. WHy??

And lets be honest here. 200 people on his friend list? Who has 200 people who really want to look at pics of a 2 year old? It's boring at best. And you feel pressured to say things.

This is all coming from someone who has been "friended" by their grandmother's cat btw.

Original poster
MakeAnotherCuppa · 02/01/2011 11:11

i just think its very unsafe and like others have said even if your privicy settings are high u can still copy a picture to your computer

My DH works away and although i have a FB account none of our DC pictures are on FB as we just email pictures to each other,

OP posts:
katiestar · 02/01/2011 11:16

Yes YABU.
He is hardly likely to be going out on his own where a PEADo could groom him.
Why is he more at risk than a RL child living on the same street
Anyone can take pics of any child in public
I think identity theft is more of a risk than paedophiles

pigletmania · 02/01/2011 11:19

MakeAnothercuppa have you talked to her about it! If she were my friend I would make my feelings known to her, especially is she is boasting that she lets anyone be friends with him, and does not have privacy settings for it Hmm

Katiestar, why put your child in that position in the first place. In a street a paedophile will have a glance of my child, he will not know her name, age, location, and will less likely to have pictures of my child on his computer, its different to FB. My freinds dh is a police inspector and he would tell you spporters of children on FB otherwise, they see the dark reality of it all.

tyler80 · 02/01/2011 11:27

"why put your child in that position in the first place?"

Because some people don't have family nearby. My niece lives on the other side of the world, and a lot of my family are spread around the globe. But because of facebook, I get to feel like I'm watching my niece grow up and it's nice. That's why. The info on her profile is her name and that's all. No location, no DOB, no age. Pictures and videos are set to friends only.

pigletmania · 02/01/2011 11:29

Fine Tyler my bugbear is that the ops friend is not as careful as that.

cocoachannel · 02/01/2011 11:33

I know a few people who have fb accounts for their babies and toddlers (even one who is still in utero). Yes it's a bit pfb but I don't really see how it's a safety risk tbh. Having said that I don't have a fb account myself so happy to be enlightened re how these seemingly very responsible Mums are putting their children in danger.

cocoachannel · 02/01/2011 11:35

ps. how do you stop other people putting pics of your kids on their accounts? Is that deemed safe?

theevildead2 · 02/01/2011 11:39

you can't cocoa, but you can report the photo, and tell your friends not to do it.

veritythebrave · 02/01/2011 11:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StayingFatherChristmasGirl · 02/01/2011 11:41

Coco - I would have said it could be unsafe because of all the extra information that you can get from a fb page - date of birth, parents' intials, home location etc - armed with that, someone could find out the child's address.

If you are careful, and just use it as a way to share photos and tidbits of information with friends and family, then that's different, I suppose - but you would have to make sure your security settings are as tight as possible, and that you only accept friend requests from people who you actually know and want to be privy to this information.

And fb accounts are not secure, even when they have the 'friends and family only' privacy setting and are password protected - mine was hacked before christmas, and messages were sent to two of my friends and one total stranger.

HappySkiingGardeningNewYear · 02/01/2011 12:08

My DS is a baby and has his 'own' FB account. This is so only people who want to get updates on him, rather than me putting it on my own page and boring the socks off people who don't care!

His privacy settings are tied down tight though and I certainly wouldn't let random people befriend him.

I think it can be a good idea but your friend doesn't seem to have thought it through!

pigletmania · 02/01/2011 12:11

I do agree verity if you do have one for your dc you have to be very careful with privacy.

Bucharest · 02/01/2011 12:14

It's not irresponsible, but it is a bit pathetic.

I strongly suspect the people that would do it, are the same people with 458 updates daily on each bodily function of said child. yawn

I live in a different country to my family, and yes, they do like to see photos of dd (before anyone starts with the "my family want to see these photos of Precious" Newsflash: they probably don't want to see nearly as many as you think) so I upload a few a couple of times a year and make them available to people who might be interested (ie devoted grandparents)

StopTalkingAndEatYourDinner · 02/01/2011 12:40

ooh, yes. you must be very careful about paedophiles - I've heard they have developed a new paedo i-phone app that allows them to travel via broadband - DIRECTLY INTO YOUR HOME!!!

Seriously though, I couldn't be bothered to do it myself but unless your putting pics of your kids starkers and accepting friend requests from people you don't know from Adam I don't see the harm.

I think the cleverest paedophile in the world would have great trouble 'grooming' a 2 year old online.