to think this is a bit inconsiderate?

[ChezzaB]

Bit of background, my brother and his GF were due to have twins in February, however little girl was born at 25 weeks and died 8hrs later :( due to her lungs not having developed properly. Little boy held on for 3 more weeks and was born at 28 weeks and is doing well.

They are holding the funeral for DN this week and we are all travelling down for it. DS text yesterday to say she might be pregnant, having symptoms but negative test. She not only told me but also announced to DM who she know was with DB at that time so ultimately DB also knows.

Just a bit more background, in the last 7 weeks (since DN was born) she has had 2 false alarms and this. Also when I was pregnant with DS2 she "thought" she was pregnant and then again when DSIL was pregnant again she had a false alarm. So does she just not like other ppl being centre of attention or am I reading into this too much?

So what I'm asking really is am I being unreasonable to think that she might have waited until A) it was confirmed or B) until after the funeral at least? I actually spoke to DB about it and he said that maybe if he sat and thought about it he'd be pissed off too, so maybe I am just being stupid as I seem to be the only one who sees it this was. Obviously if it was confirmed I would be happy for her and would support her but I still think she could have waited whereas she can't see where I'm coming from!

I don't think there's a problem with her sharing that with her own Mother, but it would definately be more sensitive for her to wait until it's at least confirmed, let alone wait until after the funeral.

YANBU.

I think your brother probably appreciates how thoughtful you are and considerate of what he's going through, I know I would in his situation.

I agree your sister is attention seeking and you just have to try and ignore it you can. Continue to focus on supporting your brother.

She could have waited before announcing it but your DB and SIL have got plenty of other things to worry about and probably haven't given it much thought.

Sorry for the loss of your DN.

Your DS sounds like an attenion seeking bitch to me. Personally I would have told her that her timing sucked and she should develop some tack. I would then ignore her petty games.

I hope your brother and his gf get through the funeral OK and that their little boy gets stronger.

I agree with you.
It does seem selfish timing.
This is her 3rd possible pregnancy in 7 weeks?!!
That seems like a lot!
Maybe she's so desperate to fall pregnant that she keeps convincing herself that she has symptoms, or maybe you're right and she's attention seeking.
Either way, it would seem reasonable to wait until confirmation or after the funeral, or both. Most people choose not to tell people until at least a few weeks have passed anyway.

tact even

YANBU, I'd just ignore it if you can until/unless you have it properly confirmed. It is a tad weird that it's only mentioned when someone else is pregnant!

Some people are crazy like that, wanting to steal the limelight. My friend has basically lost her older brother due to his fiancée going nuts when said friend got engaged before they did

Yabu just ignore it you have enough on your olate already without getting wound up
by your sister.

Yanbu.

agree with needanewname

thinking of you and your family xxx

YANBU. Sorry to hear about the loss of your DN and also glad the little boy is doing ok but she could have held of until she was totally sure and approached it with a lot more caution.
My twins were born at 33 weeks and 3 days and were in hospital for a month during which time my DS found out she was actually pregnant but held off telling anyone in the family until she was sure my two were going to be ok. It made for a great christmas as twins were out on the 10th of December and announced she was pregnant on christmas day.

:( so sorry for your bro and family

as for your sister, the whole thing seems v weird, who goes around announcing "suspected pregnancies" when they actually have negative test, you would surely wait til its actually positive considering she is most likely not even pregnant, esp as this is the 3rd time now she's said the same thing? yanbu it does seem inconsiderate and attention seeking, especially around the time of your neice funeral

YANBU
She sounds like a spoilt brat trying to shift attention onto her, she should not be mentioning anything at all about possibly being pregnant until after the funeral. Zero consideration for anyone else.

Thoguhts are with you xx

YABU

her pregnancy has been stop prematurely and her body has not necessarily caught up with that. Some people have genuinely messy hormones and it can get confusing.

She has had a baby die. I would be more concerned for her well being and mental health rather than go around gossiping.

Thank you for that I really thought it was maybe just me. I did tell her I thought she was out of order and that her timing sucked but she just started wailing down the phone and then went crying to our mother saying "chezzaB hates me" my mum can't see the problem with what she has done either although I'm putting this down to her being the baby of the family and DM has always babied her.

DN is doing really well he is 3lb 1oz now at 4weeks and hopefully will be home in February! Thanks for all your kind words Susall I'm so happy that your arrival made for a lovely christmas and lovely for your DS too! xx

skyswept it is not DS who has had twins it is DB's GF so her body doesn't need to catch up with anything, I am not gossiping I am merely stating the facts and the fact is she doesn't seem to give a damn that her DB is burying his daughter this week!

DS has a beautiful DD as far as she has told us she is not even TTC although with all these false alarms I'm not entirely convinced.

Skywept - think you've confused the OP's DSil and DS, suggest you read the origianl post again.

ChezzaB, great news that DN is doing well x

YANBU.

How incredibly selfish of her to try and shift the limelight onto her at this awful time. She has a pattern of this and I am surprised that you are the only one who is bothered by it! I would be too.

YANBU at all I cannot beleive how insensitive she is being

So sorry for your families loss

YANBU. She could have held back for a few weeks. To be honest, your ds sounds like she has problems.

Agree dsis sounds like she is having a very confusing time. Maybe her p/h is being less than sympathetic and helpful. Am less sure than tohers here that she is deliberately attention seeking more perhaps trying to avoid the funeral and the whole emotional situation your dbro finds himself in. She told your mum and you, not your brother so although the timing is off I suspect it wasn't directed at hurting him.

Some people are definitely like this. At my wedding, my DB and his GF announced that she was pregnant in the morning. At THE MEAL my sister (who cannot bear me to have the limelight) sent her fiance to the chemists and did a test in the toilets so came back for the end of the meal to announce that she too was pregnant. We did all the smiles etc but inside I was very pissed off. Sadly, this is typical of my toxic family. Your DSis sounds very similar. Why on earth would she repeatedly be 'sure' that she was pregnant and then not be. I'd be very annoyed with her if it was me.

Has she been trying to concieve for a long time? If so its like being on an emotional roller coaster. You get your hopes up so high each cycle only to have them hit rock bottom - for years! Although happy for other people when pregnant/with new born - it's also like being punched in the stomoch repeatedly. I personally found it depressing and isolating. Yes i agree she should have held back in saying she thought she was pregnant but at the same time maybe she isn't intentionally trying to steal the lime light? Maybe she is just being thougtless and caught up in her own emotions. Maybe she didn't think before sending the text and is just wearing her heart on her sleeve? Maybe you could just text back and say that you hopeshe is ok but you can only really think about other SIL at the moment and getting through the funeral.

As I said earlier she says she is not TTC, she said she was waiting till DD went to school (she is just 2 now) so I don't think it has anything to do with her being depressed for this. I also did tell her that if it was confirmed and if it was what she wanted then of course I would be happy for her, I just couldn't understand her need to announce something that could very well be nothing.

:o Doig I'm not sure I would be able to "do the smilies etc and can understand why you would be annoyed. When DS1 was 9days old he had a little infection near his fingernail and I asked DM to pop round an dhave a look )she used to be a nurse) DSis was with her, she was 20 weeks pg at the time and DM was having a cuddle of DS1 and DSis turned round to her and said "oh come on DM you were only coming round to look at his finger not to coo over him etc, I'm pg and tired and need to get home!" (they were walking bout 5 mins up road)