I wasn't much of a guilty parent before reading Mumsnet. 
But whenever someone asked me of one of my babies was being 'good', I just answered without thinking much of it because I knew what they meant.
If someone gave one of them a lick of chocolate (someone who knew they had no allergies), again, thought nothing of it. Same for fruitshoot and the like.
If we walked past a group of smokers, I didn't fuss. I didn't like it, but I thought nothing of it.
I was happy to use old-fashioned punishment (not physical, just not unconditional parenting either).
But I wasn't laid back either.
Now, I do all the same things as I did before, but with a distinct feeling that I should at least want to feel differently, iykwim.