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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to go to the pantomime tomorrow?

38 replies

Beth24 · 30/12/2010 23:19

I am not sure what to do- I am bleeding very heavily at the moment - unfortunately this is normal for me - am having a hysterectomy in a couple of months time as it is making me very ill losing so much - keep having to go in for transfusions - am explaining this to show that I have coped with this for a long while now so am pretty good with using tampons and pads together, dark clothing, spare clothes in bags etc. It has gradually got worse and worse to the extent now that I usually have to stay in the house for my 3 worse days - can't even do the 25min journey to work without a full change of clothing as soon as get there. Anyway I booked the pantomime for tomorrow a year ago - didn't know then state I would be in now. I told DH today I didn't know if I could go tomorrow, that he may have to take DC on his own - he is upset as it is meant to be a family event which we do every year - but I said I do not think it fair for me to be in and out of show every 15-20 minutes to dash to toilet and change (am really not exaggerating there - sometimes it is worse and I just end up staying in there for a while) as it will piss of the people around us - he said as we are have aisle seats it will not matter. DC are 3 and 6 so want me to be there and are used to me being like this - they have had to be - when we are out on our own they have often had to come in to loos with me whilst I clean up and change so they will not be phased by it but I just don't think I can cope if I get moaned at by someone else sat behind or something who I disturb by being in and out. So am I being unreasonable by going?

OP posts:

Bideyin · 31/12/2010 00:22

You poor thing :( It's awful isn't it. I have similar issues atm and I'm just finding it so difficult to manage. I'm going to have the hysterectomy very soon too, even though I don't really want it, just because I can't carry on my life with these horrible symptoms.

I hadn't thought about nappies :) but really do what you feel most comfortable with. Missing the panto once is no big deal x

Original poster

Beth24 · 31/12/2010 00:27

I see your thinking but have just had to wince at visions of gaffer tape stuck accidentally on places that may not be good.....ooh!

Thank you, you have made me laugh!

OP posts:

A1980 · 31/12/2010 00:27

Do you have time to buy any of these before tomorrow?

They may buy you an hour of time instead of 20 minutes.

QuickLookBusySanta · 31/12/2010 00:29

I've just started mefenamic acid, has made a bit of difference but not huge, Dr said to try for 3 months, can it work better as time goes on?

Beth I think you should go if you feel comfortable. An aisle seat will mean you won't disturb anyone. Just make sure you go to the loo before the interval starts because there will be a massive queue.

MotherJack · 31/12/2010 00:34

Well, it's a cheap Brazilian, if nothing else

I have to agree with Bideyin - do what you feel comfortable with. If you miss the panto for just one year then all will be well if you felt better for doing so

Lovecat · 31/12/2010 00:41

I do feel for you. My periods on days 1-3 are bad (one day on the way into work I felt myself 'go' and had to walk smartly to the nearest clothes shop for a new bottom half - horribly humiliating), but nothing like as bad as yours sound.

Having been caught out in the middle of nowhere with no towels or tampons when DD was a toddler, I can confirm that nappies are an amazing emergency san-pro .

It's also been recommended to me that for a short term solution, taking some high strength ibuprofen can stem the flow temporarily because of its anti-inflammatory properties.

HTH and hope you make it through the panto! :)

Original poster

Beth24 · 31/12/2010 01:09

Thank you - I think I will make a decision in the morning - I don't want to let DH and dc's down but as you have all said I need to be comfortable as long as I will not upset others in there - if we were not on an aisle or was a play or something I would not even be considering going.

Bideyen - yes, it's pants - please let me know how you get on - it helps to know others go through it - not that I want other people to suffer - but makes you feel less alone with it - iykwim.

Motherjack - "two minutes" - sometimes it is not worth leaving the bathroom is it! And as you say "stuff em" - I know - I need to have the right attitude to deal with this.

Qlbc - it didn't for me but I think I am the exception rather than the rule so I do hope it does work for you!

A1980 - thank you - I have similar - feel like John Wayne when I walk with all the padding!

OP posts:

Original poster

Beth24 · 31/12/2010 01:15

You'll know if I go or not because tomorrow night there will be an "AIBU to expect the woman in front of me to stay in her seat during a pantomime and not keep on going in and out of the theatre during the show" thread...

OP posts:

KurriKurri · 31/12/2010 14:16

Beth - I had the operation in my mid 30's - and of course it is a big thing for a young woman. But I felt so much better afterwards. The blood loss obviously stops (my gynae said 'this isn't a period your having every month, its a haemorrhage! - and clearly that is what you are experiencing too ) - and of course the periods go on so long they all sort of merge into one continuous one.

The cramps stopped, and the pain I'd been having in my bowel - (my fibroid was outside the uterus and stuck to the bowel). I stopped being anaemic and tired all the time, and the constant clearing up of mess stops(bed sheets, undies etc.) And I got my sex life back.

I did feel a sense of loss that my child bearing years were over earlier than they should have been, but honestly the relief of feeling like a normal person again and having a normal life not controlled by my body, was so great that it was worth it

I hope it all goes well for you.

KurriKurri · 31/12/2010 14:17

Oh Bideyin - have just seen your post - I hope everything goes well for you too - love your name by the way - are you Scottish?, my DH is and he uses that expression

QuickLookBusySanta · 31/12/2010 18:17

Beth let us know if you managed to go.x

FudgeGirl · 01/01/2011 02:42

My mum was offered an ablation after the second time of having a polyp removed - I tried to persuade her the first time to ask for one and even more the second time when it was offered but she didn't - weirdly enough she went through the menopause very very fast last year, which hopefully has sorted all this terrible bleeding business out...

I hope things are ok for you Beth and you got to the panto x x

onimolap · 01/01/2011 03:09

make sure to take a plastic bag or piddle pad, so if you do leak, you don't ruin the seat's upholstery.

This happened to a friend of mine. She had an ablation done, which helped, but it recurred so she had a hysterectomy. She was so much better so quickly that get only regret was not having it done sooner. Hope it goes as well for you.

Start pelvic floor exercises now! And take the "no lifting" post-op advice seriously - it really is important that the internal healing is smooth.

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