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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I should be given a couple of lessons free?

106 replies

whyohwhywhy · 30/12/2010 11:10

Started learning to drive in September. Took a long long time, we're talking a lesson every day, but had finally started mastering how to change gears, parallel parking, reversing round a corner etc and felt quietly confident. Booked test for early Jan. And then my driving instructor changed her car beginning of December.

I now feel like I'm back at square one. The car feels completely different, all the gears are in different places, the engine is so quiet I can barely hear it. Oh and it has something called stop start technology which means the car turns itself off if you're sat in traffic or stationery for any amount of time. I keep forgetting its turned itself off and then stall it.

I've had about 5 lessons in new car and still can't get the hang of it, I feel that my lessons are now all about getting used to a new car rather than preparing for my test. Feel quite annoyed to be honest, if she had to get a new car why couldnt she have got a newer version of her old car? Deliberately chose this instructor because her car is the same as DH's which I was eventually hoping to be able to drive...

AIBU in thinking that she should give all of her students some free lessons so we can get used to her new car?

OP posts:
Lulumaam · 30/12/2010 16:06

and you've said your struggling with teh new car, want to postpone and feel that you should be getting free lessons.. hardly someone ready to take their test !!

webwiz · 30/12/2010 16:21

When DD1 was learning to drive I took her out in my car as well to practice and it took her about ten minutes to get used to it - my car is a RAV4 so a bit different to the tiny car her instructor had!

PinkElephant73 · 30/12/2010 18:24

YANBU to find this difficult as a learner.

I remember when I was learning to drive that DH took me out a few times in our car and I found it was quite different from my instructors car when it came to doing manouvres, so practising in DHs car did not help me at all.

once you pass your test then you will have to start gaining the confidence to drive unguided, and in different cars.

JaneS · 30/12/2010 18:35

Oh, poor you, it's rotten when you get a confidence knock like this.

But you could look at it this way: your instructor's change of car is giving you the chance to learn a new skill. Tough though it is, he's doing you good, so you could be grateful it's turned out this way instead of wanting free lessons.

You will be glad later on, I bet.

I know a girl who passed her test very quickly, and only learned to drive the instructor's car, in dry weather. The first time she drove her mum's car she hit a patch of mud and crashed - one of our friends was a passenger lost the sight in one eye and they were all very lucky not to have been worse hurt. I know it's not exactly the same situation, but it made feel really glad that I took a bit longer to learn to drive, got a bit more experience on different cars and in different circumstances, and didn't end up passing my test when I wasn't really ready.

JaneS · 30/12/2010 18:40

Btw, the reason diesel and petrol feel different is this:

In both types of car, you use the accelerator to control how much fuel goes into the engine. However, of course, a little fuel automatically goes into the engine whenever you've turned the ignition, just to keep it ticking over.

Diesel is a harder fuel to ignite than petrol, so a diesel car is designed so that more fuel drips into the engine when you turn the ignition. Because the manufacturers don't want everyone to complain about the car cutting out, they make it so the amount of fuel trickling into the engine is quite generous. This means you can almost always start a diesel car in first or reverse without using the accelerator at all - there's enough fuel already there. Petrol cars are designed differently, and you usually need to use the accelerator a little, so the car won't stall for lack of fuel.

It's not a big difference, but it is a right pain when you are learning!

LittleMissHootsMon · 30/12/2010 19:18

Hold the phone, a lesson a day for 3m, and you are THIS unsure? Hmm I'm sure that you are better than you think you are, just look at it as an opportunity, you will not be driving her car again once you passed.

I learned to drive in a Mazda 323. I have never driven another one since... 1987 Grin

Your instructor has taken £125 a week (over £2000 from you alone...and who else..) and is claiming????

Well love, you have her over a barrel... get a free lessons or you will report her to the Benefit Fraud people....

thisisyesterday · 30/12/2010 19:49

whyohwhyohwhy

my first instructor was certain i'd pass my test.
I knew I wouldn't because I just wasn't confident enough

I didn't, and I ditched him straight afterwards and it was a year before I started learning again!

Like you it took me a LONG time to learn to drive. I think I had lessons for a good 8 or 10 months more before I felt anywhere near ready to pass my test.

I do feel that a new car takes some getting used to. Whenever I've had to change car since passing my test I've always gone out with DP somewhere quiet to have a practice, so I do think that your instructor ought to have given you all 15 minutes or so to get used to it before starting your first lesson in it

that said, it doesn't sound as though that would have helped you as you've had 5 lessons and still aren't used to it.
This, to me, sounds like you just aren't confident enough yet. And I really would urge you to pushj your test hback a bit until you're absolutely sure you can pass it.
There's no use wasting money on a test unless you think you will pass... and failing is a horrible thing IMO! made me feel crap and I just stopped learning

thisisyesterday · 30/12/2010 19:52

oh i missed the bit where she is actually a benefit fraud

Hmm

she need reporting, and you should be ashamed of yourself for knowing this and doing bugger all about it.

Bumperlicious · 30/12/2010 19:59

Yanbu, my first instructor changed from a diesel to a petrol car & the difficulty in transition really knocked my confidence.

Altaira · 30/12/2010 20:03

YANBU or silly Hmm

I have been driving for over twenty years and do lots of driving as part of my job. It still takes me a while to get used to a new car and makes me a bit apprehensive to begin with.
I can completely understand that it may take you a while to build confidence.

I totally think your instructor should have given you at least one free lesson to adjust- especially seeing how much cash she has had from you already!

FiveColdRingsForSolo · 30/12/2010 20:06

My driving instructor got a replacement car the week before my test! I didn't have any problems adapting and it was from a Ford Escort to a Datsun Sunny ~ completely different cars!

LovePinkBitsOfMyHorse · 30/12/2010 21:55

I really hope you do pass, you can come and blow raspberries at us all, especially me :)

did think this afternoon that I have pretty much always driven things since I could reach the pedals; tractors, motorbikes, cars, vintage military 4x4s and even caterpillars on and off road (not caterpillar on road obviously, that would leave too much evidence) so I've never had that lack of confidence thing and am bewildered by it in others.

(never had any ability or aptitude either but that's another matter)

LittleMissHootsMon · 31/12/2010 00:09

jesus FiveRings! A Datsun Sunny?

That's what I call showing your age!! LOL!

FiveColdRingsForSolo · 31/12/2010 00:30

Grin absolutely!

LittleMissHootsMon · 31/12/2010 00:38

Course you don't Five... I was shocked you remembered Datsun at all...

Wink
Bloodymary · 31/12/2010 10:06

I remember the Datsun Cherry Wink

OP I dont know when your test is, but good luck!

fayc84 · 31/12/2010 10:17

Why are you giving this person money when they are bragging about being a benefits cheat? If she's taking cash in hand and not declaring is she even a real instructor? I don't think a good instructor would tell you you're ready for your test if after five lessons in a new car you still can't get the hang of it. Yes, it takes a bit of getting used to being in a different car, but not that long if you are a competent driver. I think you should postpone the test and get a new instructor.

katiej12 · 31/12/2010 12:33

I passed my test- third time- in april this year. About two months beforehand, my instructor changed from a vauxhall astra to a fiat 500. To say it took me a while to get used to it is an understatement (I actually cried because I couldn't do the manoveres in the damn thing for about six weeks!) but you do get there eventually! I would say you aren't being unreasonable, but I don't think your instructor will agree to free lessons. Perhaps push your test back a month and see how you feel? Don't take it before you feel ready as it'll just be a horribly stressful experience. Good luck!

LovePinkBitsOfMyHorse · 31/12/2010 13:54

Are those little Fiats not very manoeuvrable (manoeuverable?) then? Was thinking of getting one of the twin air no road tax ones and saving self lots of £££.

MrsDingDongMerrily · 31/12/2010 14:02

Another Datsun Sunny graduate here, my mum had one, I learnt to drive in an instructor's Escort and practised in my Mum's Sunny. Much preferred the Sunny, a couple of years down the line Mum sold it to me and I loved it to bits! Literally, as I recall, used to drive along and have other drivers flash at you as yet another lump of rusty metal fell off.....

ChippingIn · 31/12/2010 14:03

When is your test?

Niceguy2 · 31/12/2010 14:19

Oh and it has something called stop start technology which means the car turns itself off if you're sat in traffic or stationery for any amount of time. I keep forgetting its turned itself off and then stall it.

BuzzLightBeer · 31/12/2010 14:20

if you've spent that much and that long learning and you can't handle a change of car,,, you're screwed anyway.

thenameiwantedwastaken · 31/12/2010 15:07

Whereabouts do you live, why, maybe someone can suggest a good instructor?

I agree with others that this instructor doesn't sound too great - you need someone who is properly qualified and will help you through your learning. Is this woman a licensed ADI? She should have a photo ID if so.

Obviously I haven't seen you drive but either your confidence levels are correct and you aren't ready for your test but you have had loads of lessons with this instructor AND she has put you in for a test you're not ready for. Or, you're actually much better than you think but she is not communicating to you how good you are or helping you feel confident as a driver.

I know an excellent instructor in North London who only charges £24/hr and got me through my test in the Autumn, can PM you if relevant.

weimy · 31/12/2010 15:23

You should be with someone who is qualified to teach, definately. Then you would have much more confidence.

My DP is an instructor and works with another instructor. In one or two emergencies they have used each others cars on test days, they are different types, the students have had an hour before the test to get used to the car and have passed.

Your not ready and its not about the car xx