sticking up for my daughter

[sheilaf]

I have 2 cousins: one (A) is 42 with a 6 yr old daughter, the other (A's sister S) is 40. My daughter R is 16.
Last Christmas Day, after 2 weeks of incidents when A gave my daughter the cold shoulder for no reason, A accused my daughter of having a fling with her 35 yr old boyfriend (R was 15 at the time!). Nobody else in the family passed any comments at all. We then had Boxing Day with everyone (except A who I wouldnt have in my house) and nobody mentioned it. Talk about elephant in the room!
A year has passed. A still wont apologise, eveyone knows she is wrong but nobody will say so. I have argued with S, and got nowhere.My daughter feels hurt, angry and totally rejected by everyone except me. She has also lost contact with As daughter who she loved and enjoyed being with. S cannot see why R is upset and is calling us bullies because we are still cross about the situation. Any thoughts? What can I do?

Sounds like it's time to move on, leave the 'Ugly Sisters' to their own devices and help your daughter make new friends and explore new interests. Don't plan to spend any more Boxing Days with them perhaps. They sound a bit odd to me.

I agree, steer clear. Not worth wasting energy and time on people who make unfounded accusations and then refuse to back down or apologise.

Another vote from me to stay away from these two , they sound unhinged tbh

YADNBU what a revolting thing to accuse your DD of, especially given the ages (to say nothing of the legalities)!
Your cousins are supposed to be the adults in this situation.
My Mother is the sort of person who would rather stay quiet 'to keep the peace',
and I still resent her for many things that she has kept quiet about over the years.
Speak up for your DD loud and clear!!!

Jeezo, that is Messed Up!!
Cut them out. Tell DD why you are doing it. If they can do that to a 15yr old, would she want to hang around to see what nasties they can be to an adult? I think not.
It is a shame about the 6yr old cousin, but I am sure your daughter will understand that it is in her best interests, though it is very hard!

Sounds like a very odd situation. What gave her the idea that your daughter was having an affair with her boyfriend?

A is a bit paranoid...always has been. God knows where she got the idea from. The most she ever came up with was that R "looked at him" once when she was babysitting for them.
To make it all the more ridiculous, she did, some years ago accuse her own sister (S) of the same thing! But that wasnt talked about either....

She sounds extremely paranoid. Is she still with the bloke in question? I would be more angry with him if I thought he had been unfaithful with a relative that was only 15.

just fuck em off

nobbers

No I'm pretty sure she'd broken up with him before all this started. He couldn't cope with her.

in your situation I would cut the 2 adult cousins off completely and fully support my poor maligned DD

they sound very disturbed people, you are likely better off rid,it could happen again - how whould DD feel at being accused having trusted them again? How would you feel allowing that to happen to her?

I think you are better off without them. Crazy folk.

If "A" think her 35 yr old boyf could even possibly want to sleep with a 15 yr old then it sounds like she had bigger problems and there is something going on in the background. Maybe the boyf was having an affair and your daughter wrongly caught the blame. She sounds paranoid.