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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think this is a mad present

22 replies

moogster1a · 29/12/2010 08:49

went to my mum's yesterday for belated Christmas and she'd bought my 4 yr old ds jigsaw puzzles. 4 of them with 500 pieces in each.
When I said these are a bit old for him, she replied that she thought he was good at jigsaws with a ' he's not looking that clev er now' look on her face.
of course, he's now mithering me to do the sodding things with him which will take about 3 years for each of them whilst trying to keep the baby away.

OP posts:
Parsgirl · 29/12/2010 08:53

YANBU

Zipitydoda · 29/12/2010 09:15

YANBU

My brother bought my DS a craft kit marked 8+ for his 3rd birthday present. My sister bought some Science museum slime and a balloon helicopter - my 6 yr old can't blow up a ballOon let alone insert into helicopter to make it fly.
It's really not hard to buy age appropriate gifts, most quality toys have age marked on them. It just looks lazy and inconsiderate like they knew they needed a gift and just went into the first shop and bought the first thing they saw.

It's hurtful when it's someone close esp if you are the sort of person who puts thought into gift buying.

OKComputer · 29/12/2010 09:24

YANBU. It's just thoughtless.

My PIL bought DD a CD of Young Persons Guide to the Orchestra for her first birthday.

FIL particularly is obsessed with her 'achieving'. At the moment (DD's 2.5 years), he's convinced she will be a Prima Ballerina. I have no idea why. He was really annoyed that she wouldn't sit through a 2-hour ballet he'd recorded, as she was was more interested in her Peppa Pig sticker book!

He was also annoyed that, when he sat her at the piano, she didn't play it properly and just "bashed the keys". Confused

Binfullofgibletsonthe45 · 29/12/2010 09:26

Do the puzzles when she isn't looking and claim he did them all by himself.." who's a clever boy, yes you are, you are, mwah, mwah..."

Look on amazon for a book entitled "1000 ways to become a better mum" or some such similar title and give it to her next year. That will give you 360 days lot practice your - not so clever yourself - look.

Or a catalogue on stannah stair lifts, incontinence pads, rubber knickers, bottle of blue rinse. Oooh the list could be endless.....

ZZZenAgain · 29/12/2010 09:29

put them away andget them out in 10 years time.

Just say thank you for the presents and don't waste your breath. She just doesn't know anymore what dc do at what age etc. Better this way round, something he will grow into, than something too babyish I suppose

ZZZenAgain · 29/12/2010 09:30

get a couple of easier ones which he will manage with a bit of help in the meantime

Bathsheba · 29/12/2010 10:48

This happened to me when I was little....someone gave my sister and I "Follyfoot" jigsaws - which we then wanted to do as we liked the horses...

They were 1000 peice ones...

Genuinely I don't think we ever did another jigsaw again - my Mum was soooo put out. I'm still to this day rubbish at jigsaws...

TheMonster · 29/12/2010 10:50

It's just lazy present buying, and a waste of cash.
I can't believe the piano story! Shock

PrincessBoo · 29/12/2010 10:53

YANBU. My Dad and his wife bought my son (who is nearly 3) a 3 foot football table. Apart from the fact that our house is tiny, he wouldn't be tall enough to reach it - let alone know how to play the game yet. It will be nice when he's older though, it's going on the loft for a few years first. Maybe we'll be able to afford to move somewhere bigger by then (I live in hope).

AllyH9 · 29/12/2010 10:57

Yes, it's mad. Stick them in the cupboard for a couple of years in case the child is ever capable of doing them unassisted. And buy your daft mother an eight million piece jigsaw with a really nasty picture (hint: the Royal Wedding) for her next Christmas present 'because she likes jigsaws so much'.

Carrotsandcelery · 29/12/2010 10:59

YANBU
This happens to us a lot.
My bright 9 year old would even struggle to remain interested in a jigsaw that long!
I have learned to remove the age inappropriate gift and bring it out when they are older.
If it hangs around, by the time it is age appropriate it is not exciting anymore because it has been hanging around so long.
We have a massive jigsaw and remote control helicopter in the wings waiting for their moment just now. They are lovely gifts - for older children!
I have been known to give clothes that are too big though - eg to give a baby 9-12 months. We got so many 3-6 months it was hard to make good use of it all.

KaraStarbuckThrace · 29/12/2010 11:07

My 3yo was given a 3d jigsaw puzzle which is aged 6+! What I am struggling to understand is that the people who bought it for them HAVE a ds of their own who is 21mo!

Last year they bought him a build your own trebauchet kit Hmm

I have put them both away and he can have them when he is MUCH older!

cupcakebakerer · 29/12/2010 15:32

I agree this is a silly present but I have to say as a non-parent (one in the oven) I find it really difficult to buy for friend's children. The age markers on the box always seem wildly inaccurate to me - in that if I was to actually buy something marked suitable for a two-year-old said two-year-old would be far too old for it. I tend to buy things at least a year above how old the child is - should I reconsider?

nickelbabyjesus · 29/12/2010 15:45

cupcake - if you know the child, and you think 2 is too young for it, then yes, buy the 3 age one.

but these presents are all for 3-4 years older than they are!

SkyBluePearl · 29/12/2010 18:16

can you forward her the ELC catalogue so she can see what more age appropiate things are.

CarGirl · 29/12/2010 18:19

I reckon she regifted them to him Grin

MumNWLondon · 29/12/2010 19:56

Tell your mum that you are upset at her choice of present as its totally an age inappropriate gift, and that at his age its really unfair.

My 7 YO wouldn't manage this, would guess appropriate for 7-8YO who is very good at jigsaws or 9-10 otherwise?

olderyetwider · 29/12/2010 21:33

My sister always bought the kids 'educational' presents that required me to spend all my life sitting on the floor getting them to concentrate. They are all round at hers, and the kids enjoy the attention when they visit Smile

UniS · 29/12/2010 23:27

YAbU/ NBU rather depends on the 4 yr old and the puzzles... if it were my 4 yr old... he would like 4x 500 piece puzzles with bright easy ish pics, we do them together. each takes about a whole rainy day indoors

BUT- there is no baby in the house and I like jigsaws, we borrow them from jigsaw library. Childrens map jigsaws like this oneare probably DSs favourites.

ILoveDolly · 29/12/2010 23:29

YANBU my MIL bought a 500 piecer for our 4 year old last year and of course the adults ended up doing it while she cried with frustration.

Not a great present! a jigsaw with less pieces next time!

hester · 29/12/2010 23:34

My db gave dd1 (5) and dd2 (just 1) a Roald Dahl book. 'To share'.

Why not just be honest and say, 'I only got a present for dd1. dd2 can inherit it in 4 years time'? Grin

A1980 · 30/12/2010 00:00

Maybe some people who have never cared for children or haven't cared for them for donkeys years really are clueless?!

They are far too old for him but could you try and take them back and swap them for something else?

On the other hand at my work, one of my colleagues has 4 grandchildren. She says they are very difficult to buy for particularly the younger ones. She said the third child in one family is 17 months old, he does not need anymore clothes and certainly doesn't need any more plastic toys as he has enough. I suggested books that he can keep until he is older. PErhaps a bg treasury of childrens stories, etc. My colleague thought that was a lovely idea. Having read this, i hope the paretns aren't cursing what a stupid present it was as he's too young for it.

So perhaps stop buying your kids so much stuff and give grandparetns a chance. Perhaps that's why they try to be creative Grin

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