My Parents dis not give presents,or a phone call to me or my family on xmas day,aibu?

[flakeofsnow]

My parents have never been loving,I grew up feeling unloved,I will admit I grew up being a pain in the arse,I lived with my grandparents and then my Granddad died when I was 17.

I tried to kill myself after he died he wanted me to make peace with my parents before he died ,I met someone who was an arse got pregnant with the abusive partner,my baby died and I went through it alone,dumped him and met my dp where we have two dc's,im very happy now.

My mum and dad had a wake up call that day as I really wanted them to take note of me, I said you are never there for me and never will be?.

When I had my first baby dad and sister went to pub,my other sister dragged mum to the hospital to see my ds,they really dont make any effort,it hurts me,but I hide it well.

This Christmas they sent no presents to me and my sisters kids,but my other sister made my dad buy a bike for her son.

I have been ill with flu,and had d&v they never called xmas day ,I rang them and mentioned the bike Dad said we will give you money when you are well enough,I said dont worry its not important.

I know they could not give a shit about me and my family,they are lame I know this but so does everyone else especially pil who whilst in a conversion mentioned it tonight,I feel sad right now all I can do is make sure my dc's never grow up feeling like I do.

Thing is I have problems with friendships and relationships if you hurt me I strike you off so aibu?.

Im planning to get married soon,feellike peeing of so its not on show all I care about is my family although it hurts like hell.

Hey. Honey we can't choose our parents like we can our friends, if only we could.

It is not you with the problem it is them, try not to let them get you down. You have your own new family with your partner and your children.

Try to make your own family better than yours ever was.

Sorry it makes you feel sad.

I didn't get anything off my parents either or a phone call, neither did my children, I have not spoken to my parents or seen them for six years.

It is not great loss I can tell you.

Take care

I'm so sorry you're in this situation. YANBU at all flake. :(

I am sorry your parents are crap with you

The best thing you can do is get on with your life and your lovely family - your partner and kids and leave the toxic parents out of your life. But easier said than done, I know.

I am sorry to hear you have been through such a hard time and had such loss too, but you have emerged with two lovely kids so take strength in that and be a great mum to them and that is all that matters.

take care x

Hi
Look it an old saying but you cannot choose your family.
All you need to do is stop wasting your time on people and that's what they are just people who happen to have a blood line with you who clearly don't deserve your time.
Just concentrate on your family and make sure they never have to encounter the nastiness that obviously is there with your so called parents.
Sorry that it causes you pain just try not to let it.

Thank you I know what you are saying is true,sometimes its easier to block it out or its gets you down.

I only have friends in my life who I can trust tbh,anyone else I let go of this year.

We are planning to get married next year dps very family oriented Im not so I dont want a fuss,Im hoping we can go off on our own with just me,dp and two dc's,I dont really want anything else.

So if you only have friends in your life that you can trust why not apply the same rule to family?

if your partners family is very family orientated it might be good to integrate more with them and maybe do a wedding that they can come to too?

Harder said than done,I dont know really ?.