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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be travelling first class with three children?

84 replies

CommanderDrool · 27/12/2010 21:54

Am I ?

I've booked first-class for DP and I and my three girls, aged 6, 4,and 18 months. It is a five hour journey on Virgin.

I hate their trains. They are overcrowded, stuffy tubes of hell.
First class is a treat and not too much extra as I booked in October.

But some peopl I have mentioned this too have expressed sympathy for the other first class passengers and now I am feeling a bit guilty.

So AIBU?

OP posts:
exexpat · 27/12/2010 22:23

I notice everyone is saying 'OK as long as it's not the quiet carriage'. Half the time when I reserve train seats for myself and the DCs, using a family railcard and booking for one adult and two children, we get allocated seats in the quiet carriage - though I don't realise this until we turn up, and I definitely never tick the box to request the quiet carriage. Luckily my two are now old enough to read/draw/play on DSi/listen to iPods (not too loud) etc, but if I had five or six year olds, I would probably be annoying everyone in the carriage.

So if you book the quiet carriage and feel like tutting at the family with toddlers in the next seat, give them the benefit of the doubt - they may not have chosen those seats.

OTTMummA · 27/12/2010 22:23

So if her kids are screechers Activate and she doesn't drive, then should she not go out at all? Or just keep them away from the first class travellers? because you know, they are better or summin? Hmm

I don't like screeching children (my own included) but its just something that children do sometimes, some children will just do it, no matter how many chocolate buttons you bribe them with!

Original poster
CommanderDrool · 27/12/2010 22:24

Flying is ok but dicey at this time of year as weather unpredictable.

Also getting from airport to SElondon is a PITA.

OP posts:
magicmummy1 · 27/12/2010 22:26

yanbu. You have as much right to be there as anyone else who has paid for a first class ticket. And on a plane as well imo. If kids aren't supposed to travel first class, it's up to the carriers not to sell the tickets - not for the other passengers to judge.

exexpat · 27/12/2010 22:26

Oh, and as for going first class, YANBU. It's probably full of leisure travellers this time of year anyway. I've flown Virgin Upper Class long haul with a toddler before now - there's a lot less shrieking if you have more space to move around....

NellyFartado · 27/12/2010 22:29

It depends on what your children are like. If they're a pain, then YABU to inflict them on people who've probably booked First Class in order to get some peace and quiet (I do think people have a right to expect something better if they've paid more for it: in the non-existent scenario of being able to travel a) without children and b) first class, I would be mightily fed up if I found myself in a carriage with someone else's unruly mob. If they are well behaved, then YANBU. But only you know which category your children fall into.

PatriciaHolm · 27/12/2010 22:30

Absolutely fine! On planes, trains, boats or whatever. The children need to try and behave, but then they do in whatever class you travel, that makes no difference.

swanandduck · 27/12/2010 22:30

It depends on how well behaved your dcs are. If I had paid extra to travel in comfort and had three uncontrolled brats tearing around, throwing tantrums, shouting and roaring etc I would be annoyed. Otherwise, no problem.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 27/12/2010 22:32

As long as the DCS' behaviour is first class, no problem.

Himalaya · 27/12/2010 22:33

YANBU. But I must admit my heart does sink if I get to fly biz class for work and there are kids in the cabin. I know AIBU, but the last thing I want when I'm away from my own kids is to sit with other people's skreetchers...especially when I can only afford cattle class or Easyjet when we travel as a family.

Firawla · 27/12/2010 22:34

of course yanbu! you have paid for it, and personally i think people with young children need the 1st class more because of the extra space etc, i wouldn't bother with it only for myself but i am off on the train tomorrow with my young dc (2 yr and 1 yr) and i will be in 1st class too. its easier to keep them occupied and well behaved if you have a table seat which is much easier to get in first class, and hopefully less crowded, more room to manouvre etc. there is nothing unreasonable about it at all

swanandduck · 27/12/2010 22:36

It's not just a matter of 'you have paid for it'. So have the other passengers and they are entitled to a bit of peace and comfort, so as well as 'paying for it' you have a responsibility to ensure your children don't annoy everyone else.

SuzieHomemaker · 27/12/2010 22:40

I have no problem with anyone else's DCs in business first or wherever. I just put my headphones in and think 'not my problem'. Of course this doesnt mean I wont offer assistance.

bessie26 · 27/12/2010 22:40

YADNBU first class just means you've paid a bit more to have a bit better seats.

Original poster
CommanderDrool · 27/12/2010 22:41

Well I try to make my kids behave whatever class we travel, just as common courtesy.

Although the baby is a bit of a maverick.

Thanks for your replies, feel a bit better about it.

OP posts:
fluffles · 27/12/2010 22:46

YANBU but personally i feel more comfortable in booked seats in standard where there are more families around.

i would feel rather uncomfortable in a first class carriage of single business men trying to work when even quiet kids chatter can be distracting.

but that's just me. i do what makes me feel comfortable and less stressed (which is standard).

Firawla · 27/12/2010 22:46

surely that is the case in first class or normal though, that its out of order to leave your children to go wild on the train? so presuming people would be keeping their dc entertained and under control. depends what people consider as "annoying" really because i don't think toddlers can be expected to stay quiet for that long, so probably need to keep talking to them, engaging them in their activities, encouraging them with their stickers/drawing whatever, it all tends to come with a commentary at that age to prevent them from wandering off? (i would probably draw the line at singing though..)
obviously this can be annoying to people but they can listen to something on their headphones or something, and if its not a quiet coach i think they would be bu to be particularly annoyed.
but loud screeching running around etc which is not able to be drowned out then obviously its too much. however if people expect to hear not a squeak out of them for the whole journey just because they have paid and want "peace and quiet" then they need to specify quiet coach!

duckyfuzz · 27/12/2010 22:48

YANBU trains and planes are for everyone to use and people on business trips don't have a monopoly on comfort, whether they like it or not. Business class is different, but first class is for anyone who can afford to pay for it.

SuzieHomemaker · 27/12/2010 22:49

I'm generally a single business woman trying to play patience work. If I'm in first I've bought the ticket for my seat, not the whole damn carriage.

duckyfuzz · 27/12/2010 22:51

I don't see why paying less for tickets means you abdicate responsibility for kids' behaviour, wherever you sit, however much you pay, they should be considerate of their fellow passengers.

swanandduck · 27/12/2010 22:52

It's always annoying if kids are allowed run wild and disturb other passengers. But if you have paid extra to have a really comfortable journey then it is doubly annoying. If children are kept quiet and occupied then no problem. In the same way that I wouldn't want someone beside me in first class roaring into a mobile phone, whereas in an ordinary carriage I would be irritated but would accept it as part of travelling on public transport.

magicmummy1 · 27/12/2010 22:57

of course you are responsible for ensuring that your kids behave but that applies in any carriage - people in standard class have paid for tickets too! But paying for first class is no guarantee of peace and quiet or child-free travel! They'll still get their extra space and comfy seats, and their free tea & coffee etc. If they're unhappy with the carrier's policy on kids in first class, they can complain - it isn't the op's problem.

Ephiny · 27/12/2010 22:58

If you book by phone or at a station, you should be able to ask them specifically not to book you in the quiet coach. There should be plenty of room in first class, so shouldn't be a problem finding you other seats.

Clary · 27/12/2010 22:58

Are people who say "OK as long as yr DC are quiet" being funny or ironic??

If not then I am amazed! Of course it is OK OP, whyever not? Would screaming DC be OK in standard class (where people have also paid to travel, after all) but not in first? WTF?

I am sure you will try to control yr DC anyway; but if you do, I don't see why you shouldn't travel with them Confused

swanandduck · 27/12/2010 23:00

All we are saying is that, if you're travelling first class with kids, be mindful of the fact that fellow passengers have paid extra because they want/need a comfortable journey. So if you have a child who's likely to get upset and throw tantrums or a colicy baby, it is understandable that people might be annoyed and you might have to put up with irritated glances.