its a sister one!! 27 yo having a tantrum!!

[MumBarTheDoorSantaUsesChimneys]

At Mum and Dads today, for 'holiday lunch'.

Mum, Dad, me and DS, My sister and her DP and my brother and his new girlfriend.

Sat having lunch and all laughing, Brother starts joking to DS (6) abut being careful about how he eats and how much he puts on his fork in case Dsis sees him. Dsis starts on how if he (DS) eats badly then she will say something of course.

We all laugh, including my Mum, who apparently, only noticed how noisily my Dbro eats when he was 20yo and my Dsis pointed it out.

Dsis DP then says 'oh yes I get told off for that one lots too, and DS be careful not to..(can't remeber what he said)..'

We all laugh again but Dsis looks up and seriously says 'well if your all gping to pick on me then I'm putting on my shoes and leaving'.

AIBU to think she can dish it out but not receive it?

She sounds a bit of a diva but you sound like a bunch of animals! Are your manners really that bad? (doubt it)...

Well, you were all picking on her. Even if it is true. And now you're asking the internet to pick on her too!

p.s. I'm not your sister in case you were wondering!

Can sort of see it from her perspective that you were all ridiculing her (albeit in a good natured way). Is she really that bad?

No we weren't ridiculing her. She was complaining about how everyone eats, and has done openly for years.

No-one was eating badly at all, Dsis was maoning at Dbro who began taking the piss about DS being careful or he'll be started on next!!

Yes HMC she is that bad - its her way or the highway AFA she is concerned - but thats just her, the way she is.

Ok - she sounds like hard work!

It was done as 'you openly critisise us just because things annoy you'. It wasn't critising her just a jokey way of my Dbro warning DS that he may in future get scathed at for the way he eats.

I will reiterate no-ones table manners are bad, my sister could hear someone sniffing a mile away and it would annoy her.

hmc Yes she is very hard work but also very kind hearted and generous too.

She was a bully in secondary school and has come far from this but I guess still finds it hard not to be 'top dog' at times.

I actually said nothing the whole time this was going on, but will admit to looking at people eating trying to catch them doing what she was accusing them of.

No-one was tho!!

I am the same though, can't stand noisy eaters

Has she ever had an eating disorder? Or been very thin?

I ask because she sounds like me! (recovering anorexic) I have real trouble with eating...both myself and other people...I get repulsed by it if I'm not in the right frame of mind and as a result am VERY picky about table manners.

If I feel people are discussing me with regards to food then I get upset easily too.

It sounds like a situation I would get in!

no never had eating probs, and no-one was eating badly - believe me I scrutinised to double check!!

She is like it with everything. She has to be right and will pull someone up on something/ put someone down etc. I think this may be the first (or first I've noticed) where she;s been put back in her place. Think it was more her DP saying something rather than our Dbro. He usually does as he's told.

her DP that is!!

Well the way you have described it in your OP is that that your brother started an unprovoked jibe at your sister (obviously based on a history of her criticising your eating habits but on this occasion unprovoked) and then you all joined in picking on her so you can't really blame her for being fed up - I wouldn't want to sit there and be picked on by everyone either so YABU based on your OP

Did she leave, or stay to continue the infantile regression your family is enjoying?

no my Mum said not to leave. Which was actually quite shocking as she usually encourages my Dsis in her tyrade of self importance.

Maybe my OP was written badly but wanted to keep to the point.

It had started because my Dsis spoke to my Dbro as he was chewing his food and then told him not to dare answer with his mouth full. . He laughed and said well daft time to ask a question then. She then started about how he apparently used to eat noisily until she corrected him. Something I and my mum never noticed living under the same roof.

I did not comment at all during this - I have never had the guts to stand up to my sister - I'm not sure anyone has hence the strop and threats to leave when the dished out was dished back.

It sounds as if everyone was picking on her though.

Yes, she has found fault with them in the past, but now they were all mentioning it at the same time.

Perhaps she should be more tolerant of how others eat, but when you have noticed something that annoys, my goodness how that annoyance is multiplied the next time & the next....

It sounds as if they are frozen in time, endless teenage squabbling on a loop.
It's one of those recurrent Christmas nightmare things people keep posting about.
Your poor mum, will her children ever grow up?

"Although my pet annoyance is people who cannot take what they dish out!"

Oh yes!

I think the thing is whether these things only annoy her or others as well.

Actually it sounds like a normal family, surprised she took umbrage but then we all have times that we get sensitive over small things.

If she had my brothers or any of my friends' brothers she would have been on the open road years ago with her spotted hankie... She will get over it.

My sister (24) is EXACTLY the same. Daily strop - with tears - every day, EVERY time our family is together. Any suggestion that this is not normal behavior evokes rage. This is the last time - I will not be inviting her to my home again.