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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Re-cycled gift voucher.

20 replies

pongonperdy · 27/12/2010 18:16

My DD had her birthday a couple of weeks ago. Her uncle and aunt normally send her a early learning center voucher ( normally arrives recorded delivery as they usually forget until the day of her birthday). This year another type of voucher arrives a week after her birthday. They dont have this type of shop anywhere near them so i was surprised they managed to get one. We later found out that MIL had recently sent them the same type of voucher for teir son for christmas.

I am not sure what annoys me more, the fact that my DD's birthday was once again an after thought or that they potentially have just given her anpresent intended for heir son. I.e payed for by MIL.

AIBU to be annoyed?

OP posts:

Original poster

pongonperdy · 27/12/2010 18:17

Awful spelling, sorry.

OP posts:

IAmReallyFabNow · 27/12/2010 18:18

Does it really matter?

reinitindear · 27/12/2010 18:20

YABU as you have already said they don't have a branch of that shop near them. They probably gave their ds the cash value and rather than waste the voucher gave it to someone who could use it.

exexpat · 27/12/2010 18:21

Sounds sensible to me - poor thought on the part of your MIL to send them a voucher it would presumably be difficult for them to use, if they don't have a branch of the shop near them. I would guess they gave their DS cash instead and thought that someone might as well get the benefit of the voucher - always assuming you do have a branch you can get to?

The fact that it was late might be more of an annoyance, but really, it is better late than never, and some people just aren't good at keeping up with family birthdays.

beachholiday · 27/12/2010 18:22

People often re-gift toys their DC recieve that they have duplicates have etc. I have no problem with that. Re-gifting a voucher is even better I would've thought, as you and your DD can choose something she likes.

harpsichordcarrier · 27/12/2010 18:24

yabvu
and fairly mean-spirited and ungrateful, tbh.
I pass on gifts all the time, if I can't use them, mainly because I am often fairly short of money. Christmas is a very expensive time and can be quite a strain on many families, even the ones who look pretty well off from the outside.
whenever I think about the kind of money I have just spent, it makes me feel slightly sick

KangarooCaught · 27/12/2010 18:24

Better than the Radley purse I bought for SIL - she likes their stuff/I don't - only to get it back for my birthday.

It's practical - next year get your mum to send something you know dd will also like, just in case

potplant · 27/12/2010 18:25

It's no different than re-gifting duplicate presents though is it?

NotEnoughTime · 27/12/2010 18:27

Was the voucher for Threshers or William Hill ;) or was it for a shop that is vaguely appropriate for her?

reinitindear · 27/12/2010 18:30

Harpsi I agree this year dd gave her dad a money box that was won in a raffle in our defence I am very short of money and he pays no maintenance

curlymama · 27/12/2010 18:37

YABU. Your dd's birthday was not an afterthought at all, they must have sent something as soon as they remembered. Just because they may have had things going on in their lives that made your dd's birthday not top of their priority list, doesn't mean they don't love her.

Childrens birthdays are just not that important for anyone except immediate family, and you should be grateful she was thought of at all.

Some people are just not very organised and forget birthdays easily. I'm one of those people but it doesn't mean I don't love my family or that I wouldn't go out of my way for them if they needed me to.

Your dd got a voucher, I don't see how you can complain at that tbh. Where it came from is irelevant.

If they knew you were feeling like this, I doubt they'd bother at all next year, and they would be right not to.

DontLetTinselDragOnTheFloor · 27/12/2010 18:46

Yes, YABU.

Original poster

pongonperdy · 27/12/2010 18:56

Fair enough. The problem is i dont think they would have thougjt it trough likebyou are suggesting. Ie, we dont have a branch of that shop so we will send it to someone who can use it. Knowing them it was more likely that they forgot and that is what they had to hand.

I doubt very muchthat they give two hoots abput her to be honest. They have all but admitted to sending things out of duty. We have suggested they they should not bother if the gift is not heartfelt.

I appreciate that some people are not very good at remembering birthdays but it is something i find difficult as i always do.
For the record we dont have a branch of the shop near us either, but i wont be passing it on to someone else. We will just wait until we travel to the nearest city with one.

OP posts:

AmazingBouncingFerret · 27/12/2010 19:01

You can buy giftcards from clintons or birthdays for lots of different kinds of shops. We dont have a B&Q in our town but I can easily purchase one of their giftcards from my local card shop. Are you sure they didnt do that?

reinitindear · 27/12/2010 19:04

Yes Amazing they do that in W H Smiths too maybe they thought their ds's gift was a good idea and bought the same.

Firawla · 27/12/2010 19:09

yabu, they sent her a present, just accept it and stop over thinking it

Blatherskite · 27/12/2010 19:20

Just be glad they bother to send anything. I am currently in a sulk because 3 of our close freinds forgot our DD's first birthday Yes, it's 8 days before Christmas but they didn't even text let alone send anything and I never forget their kids birthdays.

lovingthesun · 27/12/2010 19:23

I can understand that you are upset, not at the voucher, but the fact that your DD isn't as important to them as you'd expect/like her to be.

At least they bothered with something, so perhaps try to think along those lines ?

Original poster

pongonperdy · 27/12/2010 19:25

I guess i am guilty of over thinking. Its just that i take great care in making sure things get to people in time for birthdays and christmas.

If i give a gift it is because i genuinely want to and not because i feel that i must. I suppose it is the lateness that annoys me more. Also i am not overly kee. On re cycled gifts of any kind. I understand that some people have to do this for financial reasons though so each to their own.

Comments taken on board and i will try not to over analyse.

OP posts:

beachholiday · 27/12/2010 19:57

Well it sounds like its not really not about the present then OP. Fair enough. FWIW it sounds like they would be happy enough not to be exchanging gifts, so if I were you I would stop sending any to them. You can let them know nicely and politely that you are cutting down on gift-giving etc. Better than laying yourself open to be hurt.

Send a nice card to your nephew on his birthday as this isnt about him, and dont send any gifts so you wont notice/feel hurt when they dont.

Free yourself from being let down next year

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