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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that if you go to an online support forum ...you should get...support

28 replies

cantrantwithusualuaername · 26/12/2010 21:18

My ex - was vile - he got arrested for what he did to me 4 years ago tomorrow...it was horrid. I always get stressed about this, and I feel so alone and just want to cry, especially after a generally crap day anyway. So stupidly I decided to see if there are any domestic violence forums where I could post and maybe get some people who understand to talk to. But instead I got a forum full of trolling - just full of really horrible posts designed to make anyone who has an abusive ex feel like crap. Is this because the world really is just full of fuckwits, or maybe it is just me. How depressing. :(

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 26/12/2010 21:20

where was this?

WhiteTrash · 26/12/2010 21:20

Which forums are you trying?

loopylou6 · 26/12/2010 21:20

Are you meaning mumsnet? Vix if you are then you're far off the mark. There are amazingly supportive people here.

loopylou6 · 26/12/2010 21:21

vix

BibiBlocksberg · 26/12/2010 21:22

I'm sorry to hear about that cantrant :(

Why not put a post in the relationship section as I'm sure the experienced visitors there would be far more help and more sympathetic than the forum you were on.

I don't think the world is full of fuckwits but the internet certainly can be sometimes (MN excepted of course)

It's not you - it's them!!!! Hope you feel a bit better soon.

Original poster

cantrantwithusualuaername · 26/12/2010 21:24

No I don't mean here at all. In fact I haven't been here for a while, I wish I had posted something here first :(

OP posts:

WhiteTrash · 26/12/2010 21:25

Perhaps post something here then, and avoid the previous forums. I really want to know what forums though.

MsKLo · 26/12/2010 21:26

If you need to vent or talk...
Do so here x

BibiBlocksberg · 26/12/2010 21:27

"I wish I had posted something here first"

Well, you're here now, that's the main thing.

Stupid knobhead trolls, stay on MN at least until their memory has faded.

Am no wise owl so have no particular advice to add but am sure someone else can add a bit more :)

JaneS · 26/12/2010 21:28

Oh, that is horrible. Don't let it knock you back. It is nothing to do with you - just some people, as you say, are fuckwits.

But think how pathetic and sad they are if that's what they spend their time doing.

Hope you are ok - stay here, it's a good place to post and people will look after you if you're feeling wobbly or just want a bit of a weep.

cantrantwithusualusername · 26/12/2010 21:32

Yes, only that moron troll has made me feel yet more pissed off, and I wanted to explain everything but now I just feel stupid. And it was called 'Phenomenal Women' (what a stupid name) White Trash - but I seriously recommend that unless you are a really stable person - unlike me - you don't read! It came up on a Google search, never heard of it before.

cantrantwithusualusername · 26/12/2010 21:34

And thank you all for being nice people on the Internet. At least my 'everyone is a fuckwit' theory of the evening has been quickly dis-proven!

WhiteTrash · 26/12/2010 21:35

Oh dear. In my experience, all forums have their trolls, some more than others. But let it be a lesson learned, albiet a harsh one. Dont think about them if they were being tits, from the replies on here it sounds as though you really could benefit from posting somewhere in MN instead? Im still finding my feet in this forum, but I guess there could be somewhere relevant for the post, if its support you are after.

AnyFuckerisFucked · 26/12/2010 21:36

how horrible

it is true though that there are places where fuckwits hang out just to upset people

they see it as entertainment

stick around here x

NetworkGuy · 26/12/2010 21:36

Hope you have reported any unpleasant posts - also hope someone in a moderator role can look through and remove anything which is fuckwitted on the other site.

It might be worth telling the idiots over there that their efforts are worthless (without mentioning you have posted here). Of course, if they did spot you (or you encouraged them to visit) on MN, they would be outnumbered and feel the lash of far more quick witted posters than myself, teaching them a lesson in politeness and generally telling them where to get off, since hardly anything on MN is censored, and idiots need a thick skin as they will be unprepared for the degree of bluntness that can be returned if they step over the mark.

BibiBlocksberg · 26/12/2010 21:41

Just out of interest - does MN have a DV section or is this covered under Relationships?

If not should we have a DV section?

Just thinking which is always dangerous :) :)

AnyFuckerisFucked · 26/12/2010 21:44

DV usually covered under Relationships

OP...what do you think...would a separate topic on here help?

or would we end up with another situation like when the "feminism" topic was set up, it was invaded by a load of morons hell-bent on wrecking and derailing threads ?

GoldFrakkincenseAndMyrrh · 26/12/2010 21:46

Surely a DV section would be a huuuuge target? Better for it to stay under relationships/Chat/off the beaten track wherever people feel inclined to post IMO.

cantrantwithusualusername · 26/12/2010 21:46

I have now posted here in relationships. I used to be here quite a lot but haven't been for a while. I don't think there is a DV section.

I haven't done anything about the posts on that forum, I didn't join, I would have if it looked friendly and supportive! But it does look like the members have 'dealt' with the trolls - but the posts are still all there.

cantrantwithusualusername · 26/12/2010 21:50

I agree, that a specific DV forum would maybe not actually work, for the reasons mentioned. Also on another forum I go to for eating disorder recovery they once set up a ' dealing with abuse' subforum, and it was a total disaster. It would probably be a similar kind of disaster, sounds a good idea in theory but not necessarily in practice.

swanandduck · 26/12/2010 22:32

Poor you. Unfortunately, there are a lot of weirdos and aggressive idiots posting on websites and it's impossible to control that.

Hope you're okay.

Notautomaticallysupportive · 26/12/2010 22:55

If you post on a public messageboard, you shouldn't expect people to be necessarily supportive - you can only expect them to express their view. Just because their view does not coincide with yours, it does not make them a "troll", as you seem to think. Stop acting like a victim, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and do something a bit more constructive than whingeing on a messageboard.

Lovecat · 26/12/2010 22:58

Notautomatically... you're a bit of an arsehole, aren't you?

cantrantwithusualusername · 26/12/2010 23:03

Yeah - it wasn't exactly like that. You see I did not post, they did not reply. I made the mistake of looking at posts to get a sense of the place only too see that it was overrun with trolling. Trolls as the OPs, posts designed to provoke and upset.

If I feel whingeing on a messageboard is constructive and helpful for me that is exactly what I will do. I do feel like I need a rant, and if you don't care for reading it then don't.

sweetandtenderhooligan · 26/12/2010 23:08

You "whinge" away catrant. Natautomatically is clearly fucking moron. Don't even bother defending yourself to that tosser.

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