In thinking it has sod all to do with anybody else how much others spend on christmas ??

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

And yes it is a thread about a thread.

So long as people aren't starving the children or flogging great Aunt Ada in order to pay for it beaks should be kept well and truly out imo .

Don't think the other thread was preachy was it? Just musing and genuine surprise

Yanbu

I concur!! >

What thread are you on about?

And yes, it's got sod all to do with anyone unless they're paying for it!

YABU. People often get shocked at how much people spend on stuff. There is also a thread balancing out overspending with views on someone spending very little on their children.

Anyway, having constantly to listen to dd wailing that 'everyone' has such and such, I do feel entitled to bemoan the parents who set a ridiculously high benchmark for every one else (they are often the parents whose kids go around showing off and jeering other people for not having x, y or z. Not always, but often in my experience)/

But it's none of anyone else's business. You're not being asked to pay for the gifts other people give to their children, so you don't actually get a say in it.

And should we all live in tiny houses so that other people don't have less nice homes? Or all give up our cars to protect the feelings of those people who can't afford them? Or never holiday because those people who can't afford them feel under pressure from their kids?

No. We all live the lives we can afford. Some can afford more, some can afford less.

Still doesn't make it anything to do with anyone else.

Yes, but there's a social knock on affect if parents are spending ridiculous money on their children and those children are going into school boasting and bragging and making other kids feel inferior.

People are not entitled to stop it of course, or to criticise it in front of their children but they are entitled to comment on it among themselves.
Your comparison with nice houses, or holidays does not really make sense. No one has been on here criticising those things.

yes its no ones business until you post on aibu then its fair game tbh. get over it

RIven great Aunt Ada is priceless, you'll ave to join the queue.

Seriously couldn't give a monkeys chuff how much or little others spend, and I don't think i've seen any sneering tbh, except maybe the private schools lady but then she did say she bought her dd lots more stuff than her boys to help her fit in, can kinda see their point.

But the point made - that having nice things makes others feel bad - is relevent to all those things, is it not?

Are you really suggesting that people should watch what they spend on their children because it will make other people's children feel bad and cause problems for their parents?

Because that's what I thought you were saying. If I misunderstood, I apologise. If I was right, then extending that to other areas of life is logical because you are saying that having more than someone else is not right because it makes the others feel bad / causes them(or their parents) problems.

My point is - life is not fair. Some have more, some have less. That's what's known in the trade as tough shit.

Suprises me as its not something we could do. However each to their own.

I had to laugh at a facebook posting by a girl of 27 who has 7 kids, neither parents work (which in itself not an issue) BUT firstly she posts that shes got ALL the xmas pressies in sept, Then she posts what shes got the kids x-box laptop etc..Then shes posted pictures of all the 100s of pressies she has for them wrapped and lined up, and then...best of all she posted yesterday (quote) our family are all having a great time (lists family members) and it wouldn't matter if we had nothing as long as were all together today YANBU in thinking that but people who haven't got much this year don't need it shoved in their faces by people who have spent loads IYSWIM? and I'm certainly not a person who would gloat because I care about other peoples feelings.

most of the threads on here "aren't anybody elses business" though!
I read the thread and just saw it as the op's general musings to be fair

Its nobody elses business how much anyone spends on their child/ren..until you post it on a forum and ask for opinions. THEN you have invited people to tell you how over the top/stingy you are being etc.
If you dont want others to tell you what they think, you just dont post about it.

Those who spend a lot often get moaned at that their kids are spolit, whereas those who dont spend very much are moaned at for not budgeting better to afford more.

Either way,its none of anyones business until the poster asks for opinions.

I agree it has sod all to do with anyone else, but this thread seems to be in response to one asking if people are 'shocked' at how much people spend and people are entitled to be shocked at anything they like as long as they don't say it to your face. That's the point I was making. I sometimes get shocked at what other parents spend on their kids and think 'I hope mine won't expect that on their birthday' or 'God, will dd be teased now in school because she doesn't have UGGs, just an imitation'. There's nothing wrong with that. Parents don't like to feel they're being put under pressure, or their kids are being laughed at, because other kids have designer/expensive stuff. No problem with the parents who spend lots on their children but also bring them up to accept that they're lucky and shouldn't brag or jeer at other kids who don't have the same stuff.

Depends how complainy a person you are. If you tell everyone you spend loads on it you can't really expect more than a raised eyebrow if you complain about being hard up later.

Do people (ie adults) really sneer at people who have less to spend? I'd like to think I'd laugh in their faces if someone did that to me.

Haven't read other thread, whatever it is, but if you ask a large group of people for opinions on what you have done then it becomes their business -- at least for the purpose of giving you their opinions.

I think the 'sneering' comments were in relation to kids and teenagers who get all the latest stuff and might make their peers feel uncool because their parents can't afford that kind of thing.

The majority of kids don't brag or jeer, my two got loads this year yet his favourite of favourite things is a tiny playdoh factory from his stocking.

Dds favourite is her dsi excel, is she now a gloating madam for recieving it and enjoying it ?

I damn well hope not !

But why be shocked tho ??

Why care ??

And their is always one who trundles up on these sort of thread, typing from their country pad who insists their dcs will be receiving a note pad and a biro and be happy with it !!

Each to their own I say