ex hubby has just left in a huff!

[salsmum]

My ex-husband has been round for xmas dinner. We get on amicably and he has had girlfriends in the past who I have meet and got along with, and I have a DP and we all get on good and I'm happy that he's found someone on the internet. (we split 15 years ago). Today he's come for xmas dinner/tea, usually my DP drops him home but this year DP wanted a drink so I rang exH last night and let him know this and he said he'll 'sort something out'. ExH bought some bottles of drink (which he drank) and we all had a lovely meal...BUT he has been on the phone to his new partner who I've never met most of the day and texting her so we've had a 'ringtone' day back n forth and at one point he put my disabled daughter on the phone to say hello without warning her he was going to do so. Ex-H suddenly said about an hour ago that his new partner who he's known for 2 weeks was coming in for a drink!. I thought he was joking but I went on to say that I wasn't happy just meeting her like that and we can meet another time when I've asked my daughter if shes o.k with that etc and it wouldn't be at a family special time. Suddenly the door knocks and he's sat there demanding that she comes in for 'said' drink I say no, he shouts at me about being selfish and stomps out of the door mumbling to his new partner about me being selfish and its xmas etc..etc.. I have helped him out in the past and my DP has also given him lifts when his legs have been bad. He has been far from a good father in the past and has never supported his kids and always got his own way by bullying me/kids. I just think that to make his DD cry on xmas day by storming out in a foul mood and not even saying goodbye to her is a crap thing to do. It's left me feeling really bad for the lady too she probably thinks I'm really mean spirited at xmas but I'm really not and I'd have been happy to meet her at a less chaotic family time. AIBU to have made a stand on this one? x

He's being a selfish knob, and you were being perfectly reasonable. Don't stress over it, and try to enjoy the rest of Xmas.

Don't know really. Would your dd really have been upset to meet one of her father's friends?

Thank you glastocat. I'm really not a mean person I just thought he was taking the p*. My daughter is o.k. with careful introductions but he's practically ignored her all day and it's felt almost as if his new partner has been here all day albeit on a mobile phone basis, I requested that he didn't bring it to the dinner table though. My daughter has met her fathers DPs in the past when he's popped in (20 mins) to see them and left her in the van (in her w/chair). My DD has just started 'building bridges' with him and their relationship can still be a little fragile, once he was sat here having a cuppa and the police picked him up and arrested him for handling stolen goods from my house! so DD has always felt she's come a poor second in his life. He's had a lot of 'dodgy secrets'and spent time in prison for stolen goods. He wrote to me..not asking how DD and DS where but can I send him some money etc...and woe is him. So a bit of a history with him and DDs relationship.

MDS pmsl he is actually 54! but acting like a love sick 15yr old (putting himself first).If it was just myself and my DP I would have invited her in for a drink but to be fair he only met her 2 wks ago.One year around xmas him and his new lady friend ATT just knocked on the door and he asked me to show her what I'd bought my DD for xmas LOL My friend who was visiting was mortified when I invited GF in for a cuppa.

YANBU and this behavour shows why hes your ex.

Ex-h was around at your house so had no right inviting anyone in for drinks without your OK first.

He put you in a bad situation and you were 100% right sticking to your guns and saying no.

Fucking hell - what a tit!

YANBU, I admire your stance. Stick to it. New squeezes should not be shoved under DCs noses without notice and particularly not at family events. Good for you. Hope DD is ok and thank god he is your Ex!!