Is Christmas all about the children?

[Penelope1980]

I don't have any kids yet, but am aunty to a some who I love to bits. BUT, this year at our family christmas (we do it Xmas eve) there was a bit of an it's all about the kids/some of it should be about the adults too divide and I was wondering what you all thought. I don't mind making it fun etc for the children during the day, but in this case everything was so child focused we were unable to even have a nice meal without the focus being on kids, and I got annoyed (as did some other adults with older or no kids) with the toddlers being allowed by their parents to play with all of the wrapped presents under the tree including carrying them around the house and nibbling them. I really didn't like it as had spent a lot of money on some of the gifts and was terrified of them breaking. But, the response from parents was let them be, it's their christmas, and no harm done. AIBU?

I can see myself going either way on tihs one, depending on what everyone else says! But my feeling is that YAB semi-U if children are actually there, expecting them to see presents and not want to pick them up etc. But on the other hand their parents ought to have stopped them.

No, i don't think it is all about the children, I love the family element, playing games etc. But yes, YABU in not letting the children get excited about their pressies and rattling them. Any breakable ones should just be put out of the way

I think Christmas is primarily about children but YANBU to think it's daft to let toddlers play with the adults' presents when they no doubt have dozens of presents of their own.

Don't think there's much you can do about the meal though - if there are toddlers at a table they tend to dominate it!

If it's all about the kids why did I see so many adults buying large quantities of booze in Sainsbury's yesterday?

LOL Truck - playing board games needs copious amounts of alcohol

Can there not be some balance here?

Yes, give the dcs lots of attention...but then give the adults lots of wine (and in my case nice perfume I hope) :)

Yeah I think next time I'll just put the more expensive presents away so not go through feeling my heart stop upon finding a wrapped 50 quid gift on the kitchen floor

I think it is mainly about the children, isn't it?
I may be biased as I'm not a big fan of it.

This is a difficult one, pre kids I would tend to agree with you.

Now that I have kids and I get just how excited they get, I cannot really see how Christmas can be about the adults. If you compare my last few christmases with children, they are a complete opposite to how I used to spend it as a singleton. I used to love getting away for Christmas, now I love to be at home for Christmas morning because of my boys.

Re the presents, keep the valuable ones out of the way until christmas morning. I tend to agree you with and think the children shouldnt be playing with presents, but that really comes down to the parents and discipline. It isnt a Christmas thing.

On balance, YABU. If you ever cross to the dark side, do remember this thread.

Yeh, have children and join the Chritmas madness

As with every event, even if a certain person or group is the centre of attention and it is 'all about' them, the other people involved should be considered - they also have the right to enjoy themselves.

I think you have to accept that, with toddlers, mealtimes are rarely a relaxed adult pleasure. OTOH there's no reason that the toddlers should not be restricted in what they can play with. After all, it may be "their Christmas", but it's not their present, and, yes, there could be harm done if they bite or drop it. The obvious and perfectly reasonable solution being to remove anything you don't feel should be played with.

We wait till toddlers are in bed before
a] putting gifts under the tree and
b]having the adult meal
so it is full on children till about 7pm then grown up time with Santa attending to presents/stockings etc at bed time for grown ups.

have had our pressies under the tree for weeks and we asked the boys (2 and 7 to leave the gifts alone. We have allowed them to open a few gifts in the last week but otherwise they understand not to touch.

I think you have to expect a family meal to be very child involved if it's held before 7pm though.

Personally I consider Xmas to be about family. The kids get more excited and more presents but it is not all about them. But they will still get over excited and muck about - to be expected really.

In my house its all about the children in terms of amount of prsents, as its just me and dd, however I also need to have a nice relaxing day so I imagine there needs to be happy balance when in a group of adults and children.

I will be spending boxing day at my sisters and there will be children and adults so there is no reason the kids cant go off play together and adults socialise with some child disruption.

as far as gifts go I do over do the amount for dd, but to be honest so im not falling over toys and gifts that need to be treated well, I find a home for them pretty smartish and they come out and get put away again through out the day. no way would I allow my daughter to mistreat anything anyone has thoughtfully given to her.

So YANBU, sounds like there where far to may gifts around for far to many ungratefull people, if they where just being tossed aside and mistreated.

next year keep your own safe and spend less on the children.

No x-mas is about the children here. Or it wil be this year and it was last year.

It didn't used to be. It used be about my spoilt rotten 30 odd year old Aunt who should know better at her age, but there was a big ruccous and fall out the year before last. And so now those who daren't upset my Aunt spend x-mas alone with her. Everyone else comes here to me where the children are free to sing, dance, play and giggle to their hearts content with not a temper tanrum in sight

i have 3 kids and YANBU. do adults cease to exist when kids are there? bad message for kids too, many of them could do with realising its not All About Them.

that sounds mean, but what i mean its for all of us, not just kids.

Depends on what you mean by Christmas . Do I like pigs in blankets and family gatherings? Yes, of course. But I'm not fussed about presents and gatherings can happen anytime if you can be arsed. But the magic and excitement that I remember of Christmas in the past, then no, I don't see many adults feeling that. Or at least, if they do it's through their own children. I don't hate Christmas but I can live without it for my own sake. As dd gets older the magic will return but it'll be hers not mine.

In my view Christmas is all about families (and friends too f they are staying, which is very nice). Children are an important part of families, but only a part. I'm going to miss the adult members of my family more than the children this year (it's my third Christmas in a different country and I'm starting to feel the strain!) as being together with my siblings is the biggest highlight for me.