not to make the Christmas stuffing? Completely petty problem

[Tortoiseonthehalfshell]

In-laws staying for Christmas. Get along fine with them, but you know, there's always tension between different families all of whom have The Right And Only Way To Do Christmas.

Have gone to lots of effort & expense - turkey, ham, trimmed tree, beautifully wrapped presents, etc. Have dealt with their scoffing at the notion that Christmas afternoon will involve board games (my family's tradition). All fine, really, everyone's feeling the goodwill, the day will be alright.

But I do balk at being sent a sheet of recipes for their brandy cream, butter, stuffing, etc. And their stuffing involves three kinds of meat and a tin of foie gras, and I don't know, it just pushes me over the edge and into 'this is just obscene consumption'. I can afford it (in the sense that I won't be unable to meet bills, but I do feel like I'm haemorrhaging money this year) but, still, I know it's a feast and all but - foie gras? Really?

But it's just stuffing, and they'll probably be hurt if I don't make it.

So, I genuinely don't know, here: AIBU to make a more scaled-down stuffing?

making stuffing It is £2 in ASAd already made, throw away the wrapping tell 'em its your own very secret recipe, and spend the time you owuld have soent making it & the cost of the foie gras on soemthing more worthwhile, like playing a board game with the DC

yanbu, keep your self respect and do it YOUR way.

FWIW I have bought a boned and ready stuffed one this year! (if anyone asks, it's cause my tiny oven doesn't fit a whole bird) and frozen (!) roast potatoes and a shop bought pudding.

I am sure my inlaws would prefer an amazing handmade Christmas, but I just don't have this desperate-to-impress gene that so many women have.

I will have plenty of good food (champagne, beautiful salmon), but am not bending over backwards.

Still, am up at this hour as about to do a horror sainsbo shop (veggies must be plentyfull and fresh afeter all).

If my in-laws (or any guest for that matter) sent me recipes they demanded I make for them I'd be offended and would think it was a subtle insult to my culinary brilliance

Even if they are trying to be helpful by giving you their 'great' recipes it is still like they are effectively saying, "yours will probably be crap, so do it our way so we can rest assured that we will enjoy our dinner."

If you don't want to arse around with their stupid recipe then don't, and don't feel unreasonable for not making it (their stupid pickle sounds like enough extra work to me).

But yeah, do find a yummy alternative recipe and if they query the lack of their stuffing or insult what you have made then tell them stiffly (or tearfully if you feel dramatic) that it is your mum's/gran's/best friend's recipe or something and watch them squirm hehe.

Sorry to lower the tone, but their recipe sounds like a recipe for farting ILs all afternoon. Maybe this is why they don't play board games - do they by any chance go for a long walk in the fresh air after lunch?

Your ILs send you a recipe for stuffing, containing foi gras, which you are required to make? Cheeky fuckers.

Get down to M&S and buy some readymade stuff.

What a fucking rude cow ( your MIL, not you! )

Cheeky mare asking you why you haven't done te dishes yet

And so rude to expect you to make food her way in your house

Has she made anything? Does she help? If she wants bloody fois GRAS stuffing (disgusting) she should bloody well make it herself

This is why I won't have my lazy mil to mine for Xmas - she never helps or does anything when she comes to mine ( yes, there is an argument that guests dot help, but she is family and I always help in her house and my mother always helps me when she comes to mine)

If you are going somewhere for Christmas, the least you can do is help, especially If you are family

Next time tell her sweetly when you invite her that you would like her to bring such and such with her (give her a list)

And for now get her helping you!

Bloody cheeky cow (her, not you!)

Also she sounds a bit hyancinth fucking bucket

I am fuming for you!

you could say thank you for the recipes but you will be creating the christmas that you do at your home. if they would like to create some dishes and bring them along as a contribution that would be great and that you will do same when you go to theirs...

That sounds disgusting. Truly disgusting and quite unhealthy.

foie gras completey unehtical anyway, - does your MIL wear a fox fur stole on the day as well?

I wouldn't expect to invite people for Christmas Dinner and then for them to suggest or demand what we should have, especially not to the point of sending recipes! Absolute cheek!!!

I am a bit odd and like specific things for Christmas Dinner, including which veg I like. I would never in a million years even consider going to someone else's and then asking them to cook what I wanted though.

Just cook whatever you like.

They can fuck right off.

They are coming to yours and you will make a lovely meal and be a pleasant host.

Recipes are not a part of this, unless you have asked for the recipes.

We always used to make Mrs Beeton's from the cookbook that's been passed down our family. Then a couple of years ago we discovered M&S Sage and Onion tasted identical...

Tell them that you want them to live for a long time and that these recipes are unhealthy so, because you love them so much you couldn't bring yourself to make them. Sorted.

YAsooooooooooooooooooNBU

I've just got back from SIL's. Last night DSIL, DMIL (yes, I do actually like her, she's awesome) and I made veggie chilli (they're veggie, i'm not - DSIL's house) with rice and we handmade taco's. DP thought we were absolutely nuts to do all that pissing about, we had a whale of a time.

That's christmas

I am absolutely gobsmacked that anyone would think it is OK to send recipes and demand that their host follows them - unless it involved some food allergy/vegetarianism, and they were trying to be helpful, which is not the case here.

I have done pretty much the same stuffing that I do for roast chicken - finely diced onions, bacon lardons, breadcrumbs and sage fried up until brown, then stuffed into the bird, or put in a dish to cook seperately. I have poshed it up for christmas by adding lemon zest and chopped up chestnuts. I can't wait!

You are providing the meal at your home so they should either respect your traditions or get stuffed themselves

Just realised that my stuffing is also veggie, well till it meets the turkey, In fact I need to get on with making it to take to my S/BIL's tomorrow (before anyone says anything they asked. )
Half to whole diced onion, lightly browned in butter, add a grated carrot, stir well and add teaspoon each of nutmeg, allspice and cinnamon stir well add breadcrumbs, then half a grated apple (cooking apple is best)
either stuff bird cavity or put in buttered dish for 15-20 minutes.

I know it sound cakey rather than dinner-y but everyone who'e tried it loves it, even BIL the most awkward Chistmas PITA, but we love him, will help himself to biggest helping even as he says well it's not like my Mum makes. . but

You're all lovely.

They don't mean real Foie Gras I don't think because they wouldn't know real cuisine if it were dished out to them-- but they do mean goose liver pate.

Actually what happened was, I got home from work on Christmas Eve, they were already staying, and they'd gone and bought the ingredients and made the stuffing. Which I thanked them for and then forgot to heat up on the day. Completely genuinely I mean. While dishing up perfect turkey, roast veg, greens, etc. Am v v smug.

But I really didn't think everyone would agree with me! Ok, sending recipes is rude, but surely as host my job is to make everyone feel welcome, and at Christmas that means comfortable rituals and traditions, and it was only stuffing - if it was going to make or break their Christmas day, surely I should just have done it?

how funny.
you genuinly forgot.
did they notice

I am so relieved, I don't have to hate them now since tehy didn't mean real foie gras, I am such a sad creature that it has been worrying me..

I think if they'd asked to have it and offered to bring it round that would have been ok. We went to my mum's for Christmas and by arrangement we did the turkey, gravy, bread sauce and stuffing and she did all the veg, the drinks and the pudding. I'm all for sharing but not for demands.

Yep another YANBU here! Think thats pretty unanimous isn't it?

If they want the stuffing they should bring it themselves which I see they did in the end. Pmsl that you forgot to cook it though!

Another one for nothing wrong with bringing certain dishes to someones house for Christmas dinner if it doesn't feel like Christmas without them. But you do NOT send recipes and demand they make them.

Oh and if there is no room in their oven to cook them (which there wouldn't have been in ours if someone had turned up with extra stuff to cook) then you have to just put up with not having it or having it late.

Paxo all the way here - sorry but 'proper' stuffing just doesn't do it for me although of course if I came to one of yours for dinner I would put up, shut up and very probably enjoy it!