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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

sumer clothing in winter

17 replies

jeanhill · 23/12/2010 21:45

I am in my 50s and astonished that people go round in this weather dressed as if it was summer and even more so people let their children do this

I see this all the time

So I was astonished when I came across my daughter who is 27 in town on Monday dressed in a short flimsy green dress and high heeled sandals hurrying across the iced over pavement

Today, I called round to her house to find my two grand daughters, who are seven year old twins, playing in the garden, dressed in mini skirts, short sleeved blouses and ankle white socks and no shoes. they where playing in the piled up two day old snow that had been moved off the drive, they had been doing snow angles too

So the sun was out but it was below freezing,

My daughter just shrugged and said they will come in when they get cold, I told her she was being irresponsible

We had an argument

OP posts:

MumNWLondon · 23/12/2010 21:51

My kids are dressed for winter when they go out, DS1, aged 4 even insisting on tights under his trousers.

TBH haven't really seen this, certainly not in children.

MsKLo · 23/12/2010 22:10

She was being irresponsible

And silly!

I saw a poor girl out in a short skirt and little ballet type pumps at the weekend - what was her mum thinking dressing her like that?!

Crazy!

Firawla · 23/12/2010 22:18

yanbu!!! that shocks me tbh i've not seen people doing this. outside with no shoes playing with snow?! is she crazy, why on earth would she let her dc do that, we are not in 3rd world conditions of living in the freezing cold without owning a pair of shoes, it is v irresponsible. she might think oh it's mum interferring but you're right to say something. i'm suprised they were happy to play out like that, i took my 2 yr old to the park last week and he had coat on and hat and everything obviously but still he was moaning "too cold" so had to come back

Original poster

jeanhill · 23/12/2010 22:30

They had gone out without their shoes themselves, they do it all the time and we have argued over this before

OP posts:

parakeet · 23/12/2010 22:32

Look, I agree with you that their clothing was inappropriate. But. Is it really worth arguing with your daughter over? The children will come to no harm.

Original poster

jeanhill · 23/12/2010 22:54

That what I am really asking parakeet

I bit my tongue and kept quiet, when last week I came across them in a supermarket dressed similarly. My daughter pointed out the car was two minutes away and they will come to no harm

OP posts:

Soups · 23/12/2010 23:04

I agree with parakeet. They're not wearing the right clothes but it's not worth an argument.

Your daughter will be more uncomfortable that she needs to be walking around a town like that. But she's not going to "catch her death", as my granny says, because all she needs to do is walk into the next shop and warm up a bit.

If her daughters have free access to the house they will come in if they're too cold? Mine go into the garden in all sorts of undress and do come in when they're too cold. I do suggest what they should wear but they're usually too impatient.

I often walk around town tutting to myself about young girls in sodden sheepskin style boots. But they'll be fine once they're home.

I do respect the cold, I love hill + mountain walking and know how quickly people can get into serious problems. If I go out with my boys for the say I make sure they're properly kitted out. I make sure I'm carrying emergency items for them if they get drenched.

I don't have much compassion if they decide to go into the snow covered garden in their PJ's and no shoes. Their snow boots are by the door. If they didn't have snow boots they could put their feet in carrier bags before putting them in trainers. If they didn't have a coat there's a bin bag I could cut arm holes in

MamaDeer · 23/12/2010 23:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

parakeet · 26/12/2010 18:29

Yeah but regularly failing to clean their teeth will result in tooth decay.

Regularly failing to dress them appropriately will cause no long-term harm.

As for whether this is genuine neglect, only the OP can say - but I'm sure if there were more serious signs of neglect she would be worrying about that, not about being underdressed in their back garden.

MrsBonkers · 26/12/2010 23:11

If my mother told me I was being irresponsible how I decide to bring my daughter up I would be thouroughly pissed off.

lovingthesun · 27/12/2010 21:30

I think that's taking it a bit far MrsBonkers, surely the op ( & maybe your mother) is just concerned. If the daughter is walking around in sandals, perhaps she just doesn't get cold & therefore doesn't think about the DC ?

I saw a little girl crying (with bright red hands) in her pushchair the other day...mother was having a fag, ignoring the child. Fortunately the boyfriend said she's got cold hands & they managed to wrap a blanket over her.

I'm always cold, so my DC are always wrapped up. Children need their energy to grow, not to keep warm.

MrsBonkers · 27/12/2010 22:22

Absolutely nothing wrong with being concerned (Isn't that what grandmothers do? lol) but to call your own daughter an irresponsible mother is a bit hurtful.

A1980 · 27/12/2010 22:58

I've seen it a few times.

I once wanted to say something to a couple of mothers but thought better of it and kept my mouth shut.

One was a little girl who looked about 2 in a buggy with bare legs and socks and shoes on, a little dress and a little jacket when it was mid bloody November. Mum was all wrapped up warm though.

Another time was a woman with a baby in a sling attached to her front. Baby can't have been any older than 4 months. It was end October, pretty cold, and mum's all wrapped up warm on the street while her baby is in jersey cotton clothes, no hat and no mittens.

OTTMummA · 27/12/2010 23:08

My son will take off his hat and gloves when it is freezing outside.
He is nearly 3, i can not glue them onto him.
All i can do when he refuses is to keep offering them to him when we are out, but i will not stay in just to keep his hands warm because he is in a funny mood and not wanting to put his hat/scarf/gloves on.
Only a hanful of times has he asked for them to be put on whilst outside, and it has been really very cold.

He wears thermals and 2 tops under his thick coat, because i worry about him getting cold as we walk everywhere, but reading some likewise threads on here make me feel a little paranoid that others are sliently judging me on my gloveless son, when really its all down to him!

OTTMummA · 27/12/2010 23:12

On another note, you really shouldn't of told your daughter she was irresponsible.
That was just rude and unhelpful.
You could buy some nice boots or jumpers for the girls as xmas gifts/bday presents so she has some appropriate clothes etc if she doesn't have any, or can not afford any new ones.
But really, if the children are otherwise healthy and happy, leave them be.
You should also apologise.

maighdlin · 27/12/2010 23:54

YANBU i just don't get it at all. in november i went to m&s and bought me DH and DD sets of thermals and my god have we used them.

the past two week cold snap DD was like one of those babies i remember hearing about in parts of china that are never naked until they are two. She was never naked, trousers off clean bottom half, trousers on again wash top half. when i did take her out she could barely walk with the amount of clothes i had on her.

gingerjam · 28/12/2010 00:01

YANBU It is neglectful to the children in this weather, they could get ill. I think you are going to come across as an interfering granny on here though I think to women who get criticized by their own mothers.

I think you will get more reason if you talk to your daughter with heaps of diplomacy and remember you are talking to an adult who wants to be respected for the masses of good she does not the bits she misses.

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