Witty replies that won't land me in jail please!

[Wendijane17]

As a newbie, I would love your feedback on the following incident:

Travelling back from France on the ferry with DS 14 and DD 12 recently (very brave for me as LP) we arrived at ferry port Border Control late at night and tired. I handed him our three passports.
BC Man - Are you travelling alone?
Me - No my two children are in the back.
BC Man - Are you all in the same family?
Me - Yes they are my two children.
BC Man - They have a different surname to you.
Me - Yes.
BC Man - Why is that?
I took a deep breath and came up with the best reply I could muster which was "because their father wouldn't marry me".
Is it me? Is this really so unusual? Is this a matter of national security? Please advise. I felt embarrassed and humiliated. Any witty replies for next time that won't land me in jail will be much appreciated. Merry Christmas!

My children have a different surname to me, my answer would have been because they have their fathers name.

Wendi - your response made me smile! To be honest it's the exact response i would give...not even meaning to be obstructive, but just giving the answer to the question.

Please don't get upset as AIBU can be a harsh place. I'd also like to tell you a little story but can't post it here so will message you so please check your inbox. :)

Well I know lots of families where they are married and the kids have the father's name & the wife kept her name.

I also know people who are not married and the children have the mother's surname.

So I think the answer is "because they have their father's surname". Its not necessarily to do with the fact that you aren't married to him.

Dh, the children and me all have the surname, the children often get asked coming through immigration if they will point to Mum or Dad.

Its just part of the conspiracy to make travel so deeply unpleasant that we all give up.

I don't get how it is about security and making sure the kids hadn't been kidnapped as whose to say the OP was telling the truth. Did they ask the kids if she was their mum?

The last time we came through Border Control the man asked DS "who is this lady?". I don't mind, but his father had just walked through in front of us, in his usual "I'm a single man travelling alone, this rag-bag pair are not with me" style. Luckily DS replied "she's my mum, my dad's just there", and they spotted the DS lookalike 10 steps ahead. They have to ask, but the daft thing is, I believe most child abduction cases are by estranged family members, who have the same surname anyway.

We recently took our (adopted) DS abroad, and due to delays with court paperwork, his passport is in his birth surname, rather than ours. We made it all the way to boarding the plane (literally walking out of the building and onto the tarmac) when a police officer grabbed hold of us and asked to look at our passports. (presumably tipped off from passport control earlier in the boarding process?)

He then asked why DS has a different surname to us, and fortunately we had our adoption order paperwork with us. He read through it all, and then allowed us to board, saying that if we hadn?t had the paperwork, then we would have been detained until he was able to investigate.

I have to say, though it was mighty embarrassing, and not a very pleasant experience, I am glad that this check happened, and am glad that questions are being asked.
OP, I think your response was just right, and nothing wittier needed adding!

About 8 years ago, DH and I took my sister and her friend (then both aged 14) to Florida for holiday. My sis looked a lot like me but her friend looked very different.

When we landed in Florida, the passport officer took her friend to one side and said, ?Mum and Dad know you?re here, Abigail?? she replied (bless her) with ?They sure do. If these were going to kidnap me, they probably wouldn?t be likely to take me on a jolly to Disneyland would they??

Fortunately, he was one of those with a sense of humour!