Comments about the cost of presents

[changeforthebetter]

I can feel myself getting about this already.

Every time the DCs have a birthday or its Christmas my dad always makes comments like "wow you've spent a fortune" - "that must have set you back a bit" as they open their presents. I expect more of the same this year as I am now a LP and so doing the whole thing on a tight budget. Actually, the majority (and sometimes all) of their presents come from jumble/NCT/carboot sales or my charity shop trawls through the year. Quite a few of their "presents" are things like tights and pjs which they need anyway. I know it is because he grew up in the depression with a fiercely stingy mother but it is starting to piss me off mightily. I know my kids have less than any of their friends (not judging those parents - we have what we have) and that he has lost any sense of perspective. In years past, I have just said "you know I buy 2nd hand mostly don't you" but he ignores me. He and XFIL (now deceased) were a real double act on this

What I don't want is for him to spoil it for my kids. They do not have hundreds of presents. Their main presents cost £15 & £20 new (no competitive underspending here - they got what they asked for) plus assorted 2nd hand goodies and stocking fillers totalling about £10

I suppose I object to his comments because firstly, I have not spent "a fortune" and second because I think the DCs are of an age where they will pick up the vibes (3 and 5).

So WWYD? Raise it in advance - quick phone call or visit or just bite my tongue and smile on the day? The other option is to write him a note which sounds awful and a bit passive aggressive but he is somewhat deaf and "tunes out" a bit sometimes even when he is wearing his hearing aids

No I don't owe him money. He has paid for some house repairs but I am not going to take anything else off him as there seem to be strings attached

My Dad makes occasional comments like that. It is INCREDIBLY irritating so I do feel for you - must be far worse when it's kids Christmas gifts. I think in his case it's a control issue: he likes to think that his approval / disapproval will change what I choose to do.
I stick with the "broken record" approach, which does at least limit comments to one or two rather than a constant harping on about it.

Ugh change he sounds frightful. My dad is just the same; one of these people who 'hates' Christmas and all the extravagance and materialism but happily comes over and eats all our food, drinks all our drink, contributes nothing and still expects a present the worst thing you can do is take anything from him, let alone money because you can guarantee there will be strings attached. Needless to say, my parents are not invited this year; too much stress what with the puerile comments he comes out with and thinks are hilarious

Your Christmas sounds lovely; with one exception. Your dad. Do you and your DC's a favour; if he's making you feel bad, leave him to his own devices this year and take your DC's to see him next week. Concentrate on your little family, I hope you all have a lovely day

Just what I was thinking.

Do your DC's have to open all their presents in front of your Father ?
Especially if he's this annoying ?

Maybe you could share your presents to each other ( or to them as they're so little ) at another time, perhaps with friends who understand ( and are doing the same )

Then when you see "Grandpa" you can just exchange gifts with him, and focus on what he's chosen to give them !

Also agree with the generational thing.
Kids these days do all get so much compared to our parents wartime generation.
So just keep saying that ..

"Oh, I know, they get so much these days, don't they !"
"Oh, I know ... "
"Kids these days don't know they're born ... "Oh, I Know ... "
LOL

My pil do this all the time....I don't know why they think it's got fuck all to do with them tbh.

Some people just can't keep there mouths shut

Well, the smart ass is me would be tempted to start telling him the price of EVERYTHING

"would you like some tea? Its the tesco value - 99p a box. How about a biscuit to go with it? They were reduced down to 59p. Hang on, let me just get you a mug down - this one was 6£ for 4 - a bit pricy, but I really like them"

etc etc ad nauseum.

Or just look him straight in the eye and say "Why do you ask?" when he asks. You are a grown woman and you don't have to justify your spending to anyone.

:)

I'd say 'oo we did really well. I only spent 15 pounds per child yet XXX spent xxx (huge amount)on their gifts.