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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel like a real idiot...

15 replies

NetMummy · 22/12/2010 16:03

sorry if this sounds all disjointed but i got an email notification this morning in my hotmail from my single no kids friend that she was free tomorrow afternoon and if she could pop by, i clicked on the link and post not found, so i wrote on her wall anyway to say that it was weird i couldnt see her wall post but that yes no prob come round... she didn't respond, fair enough, i was out until 2pm

anyway called her an hour ago to find out if she was still coming, went to vm

then it just clicked that she wrote on my wall, then changed her my mind and deleted the wall post.Xmas Blush

she's done this before, sent me a text to say she's got no plans sunday and if she could pop round, then before i could reply within the hour, she texted back to say change of plan!!

AIBU to feel like i'm being used, and a bit stupid that everyone who could see my post knew i'd been blown out???

waaahhh

OP posts:
Original poster
NetMummy · 22/12/2010 16:04

I forgot to add facebook (wall) btw!!

OP posts:
hystericalmum · 22/12/2010 16:04

She doesn't sound like a friend to me.
Delete your post & don't respond to her in future.

Pheebe · 22/12/2010 16:05

Find a better way to communicate like erm the phone...

headfairy · 22/12/2010 16:08

Perhaps something she couldnt' avoid came up, something personal she didnt' really want to share?

It depends how good a friend she is, my closest friend is always blowing me out, she's terribly unreliable, but we have such a good time when we're together I can forgive her :)

Original poster
NetMummy · 22/12/2010 16:08

yes, i did once i figured out how to do it, 8 hours later after i posted! gawd i feel so stupid!! Xmas Sad

when i see her i just listen to her go on and on about her...she lives alone, single, always broke, so i always felt like i should be kind and welcoming to her sigh... mugsy me!

OP posts:
stickersarecurrency · 22/12/2010 16:08

I think you'll both have learned a lesson here! I don't mind FB but I hate people putting personal messages, or just inane ones, on walls. Send a message instead!

If you feel she's using you then how about you be busy sometimes? Or you do the inviting? If she makes effort and you care about her it might be forgivable.

Unrulysanta · 22/12/2010 16:08

Why do you care whether people can see that someone changed their plans?

swanandduck · 22/12/2010 16:09

She sounds very self centred and immature. YABU to feel like an idiot. You didn't do anything wrong and it's not your fault if your friend is a thoughtless pratt.

swanandduck · 22/12/2010 16:11

Sorry, meant to add that I don't think it's fair to imply that she is like this because she is single and childless. That really isn't on. One of my least reliable and most thoughtless friends has two children while some of my single friends are among my most considerate.

Original poster
NetMummy · 22/12/2010 16:13

i feel like an idiot because on the news feed everyone can see my post stating i got a notification on hotmail but nothing on my wall!!

headfairy maybe, but i also left her a vm on her mobile which was on! double mugsy!

yes sticker i agree i rarely do wall posts (mostly text/phone/email) but got excited this morning when i thought i did!! how sad am i?

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ladydeedy · 22/12/2010 16:15

sometimes you have to take stock of your "friends" and see if the relationships are balanced and healthy. If they are one-sided and the friend is needy and you are always the "giver" of time/an ear/sympathy/support and help, then sometimes you need to break free. I know that sounds a bit heartless but if you continue to bolster people who are not being thoughtful, kind, helpful individuals, you're kind of perpetuating their current state.
I realised I had a "friend" like this who I was always running around for, doing favours, helping out because she wouldnt take responsibility for herself. After suggesting she start standing on her own feet and being responsible for herself she cut me off and I have a HUGE sense of relief. She's probably now leaning on someone else. I am glad it is not me...

Original poster
NetMummy · 22/12/2010 16:16

swan my point about being single and childless was that it wasn't a playdate thing... and that justifidedly (sp) she is carefree and single and can do just what she wants as she does... then again, maybe benefit of doubt. but still i feel like an idiot writing back on her wall!! but i'll get over it!

friends over tonight for xmas drinks at ours, a couple with no kids!! Xmas Smile

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MrsLevinson · 22/12/2010 16:23

Don't feel like an idiot! Nobody will think anything of it, if you haven't already deleted it. It's not a big deal. I would just arrange stuff with her via phone or text in future though, if you decide she's a friend worth having.

MadamDeathstare · 22/12/2010 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NetMummy · 22/12/2010 16:35

good points madam and lady

forgot to say i namechanged as in my pp i had outed my location!! Xmas Grin

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