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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have bought less presents for dd then ds's

22 replies

bigbitch90 · 21/12/2010 21:21

Right i have two sons aged 2 and 3 (june and april babies) and a baby daughter just turned one. She got loads for her birthday at the end of november, so i've spent about £50 on her, instead of getting her loads of pointless toys and skinting myself I'm going to buy her a smart trike in the spring. Boys have had about 150 spent on them each.

I told a friend this and she came out with 'wow favouritsm'

AIBU?

OP posts:

magicmummy1 · 21/12/2010 21:22

She is 1. She won't notice. It is not all about the money.

backwardpossom · 21/12/2010 21:23

YANBU in the slightest to buy fewer presents for her. Your children are too young to know the value of presents and will be none the wiser.

It's none of your friend's business what you buy your DCs for Christmas.

WinkyWinkola · 21/12/2010 21:24

Bigbitch90, you've absolutely made the right decision to get fewer gifts.

£150 on each of your boys though? Wow - I'm a total skinflint in comparison!

swanandduck · 21/12/2010 21:25

YANBU. She's only a baby and as long as she has a couple of presents to convince her brothers that Santa visited her too, that's all that really matters.

AngelZigzagsSparklyYuletideLog · 21/12/2010 21:30

My DD2 is nearly 1 (DD1 10 YO) and we've just spent the money other people have sent her on getting presents for her, and just got a few little things like bath toys (on offer) tooth brush (she's going to be really excited with that ) and functional stuff.

It's just for DD1 to help her open it really, DD2 would be looking forward to eating the wrapping paper if she understood

MsHighwater · 21/12/2010 21:35

I'm sure it'll be fine now but, in future when all of them are old enough to notice, you might like to make your spending more equal between all 3. If it were me, I would be bringing the £150 down closer to the £50 but that's up to you.

Original poster

bigbitch90 · 21/12/2010 21:36

i didnt think i was, but i dont want people thinking i favour my sons over my daughter!

winky- im making up for last year as i had a bad time when dd was born and they didnt have much of a xmas :( have been picking things up in sales etc for about 6 months when i can afford it
angel thats all my dd enjoys eating paper.. and batteries.. and pennies.. and kittens ..

OP posts:

FabbyChic · 21/12/2010 21:37

Its not favouritism at all, its common sense, I dont think its value but do think quantities should be the same.

A 1 year old does not know any different and you would be hard pressed to spend £150 on her I think.

dannyblanchflower · 21/12/2010 21:55

When mine were younger I used to make sure there was the same number of parcels so they could unwrap alternately - never counted the cash value. One year I had to separate a multi pack of pants to make it even (all essentials needed from about Oct onwards make it under the tree in this house!) They had no idea what things cost and as long as FC came up trumps with requests everyone was happy. Even the year when all dd wanted was a purple flannel!

Now (aged 15 and 17) , they know the cost of things - and our budget - and request accordingly. DS has 1 thing to open and DD who loves cheap tat has about 25. No favouritism involved but you can't compare an ipod to a hairbrush or mascara!

maryz · 21/12/2010 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Imarriedafrog · 21/12/2010 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ronshar · 21/12/2010 22:18

It isnt about favouritsm its about what your children need/want.
I taylor my gifts each year according to age and need.
DD1 got a notebook last year as she needs it for school work. DD2 got some clothes. Ds who was 18months got some clothes & pjs.

We couldnt afford to give masses of pressies at christmas but even if we could I would still have a £50-£100 limit. Anything after that is forgotten about in the rush to unwrap!

FrostyAndSlippery · 21/12/2010 22:22

YANBU at all. I think while they are so little, make the most of not needing to be balanced IYSWIM.

DS is 1 and is getting much less (in terms of both money spent and number of gifts) than DD age 3. He's starting to play with all her old toys anyway so there really wasn't much to get him. Most of what he's getting is toys they can play with together anyway.

tyzer2001 · 21/12/2010 22:22

YANBU.

Your friend is a wazzock.

Blackletterday · 21/12/2010 22:37

Ds2 is 13 months and we have actually spent in real money £10. Fair enough we had surprise Tesco vouchers, plus their 3 for 2 offer (thank you mr tesco). But tbh I wouldn't have spent the equivalent in real money.

He doesn't care about christmas, would rather play with a dvd case than the expensive toy he got for his birthday. Dd at the equivalent age was a pfb and got masses spent on her, she was bemused and confused.

He did seem to like his presents when he woke up in the middle of us wrapping them though .

YANBU

Original poster

bigbitch90 · 21/12/2010 22:47

lol imarriedafrog it was more friends and family that i didnt want to think i favoured my DCs :)
maryz- i dont believe that either, my DCs havent asked for anything but next year when they do they can ask for one thing they would like and the rest will be a suprise :)

OP posts:

Morloth · 22/12/2010 01:13

DS2 is 9 months, his idea of heaven is a cardboard box with some rattly balls in it. DS1 is 6 years old and has quite a different idea about what is fun.

DS1 has some very cool toys coming, DS2 has one of those things where you guide the bead around the poles thingies, that's it.

midori1999 · 22/12/2010 01:33

It's fine, don't worry about it.

My DS's are 14, 10 and 6. The 6 year old also has Downs so doesn't have the same understanding of things as most 6 year olds at all. I have spent far kess on DS3 simly because the older boys like 'gadgets' which are more expensive and it would be virtually impossible to spend the same money on DS3. Yet DS3 has more presents to open and it looks more. DS's 1 and 2 are both getting something they really want, DS is getting things he will really love. So I don't see the problem.

Obviously once DC can understand, spend similar amounts on all of them, but when they don't understand it doesn't matter.

SkyBluePearl · 22/12/2010 03:46

she probably doesn't need much at the moment being so young - ignore the woman.

MrsBonkers · 22/12/2010 04:09

We're not buying my DD anything but then she is only 6 months old and wont have a clue what's going on anyway. Plus she is the only grandchild on both sides and I suspect she will have been bought lots of tat presents anyway.
But we will let her gaze at the pretty twinkling lights and chew balls of wrapping paper so I think she'll have a great day :)

Coralanne · 22/12/2010 04:27

Asked DGS ,5 what he would like Grandma to buy him for Christmas. His reply, "Some blue glitter for my art box "

antsypants · 22/12/2010 05:44

Tell your friend to shut her cake-hole... Last year when my DC was about 4 months she was hit by an avalanche of presents, this year she has two, and i am not getting her more than one, not while her main occupation is tinfoil and her toys have been discarded in favor of plastic coat hangers!

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