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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be very pissed off with my maternity services? I don't know what to do and I am panicking! HELP!!!!!

55 replies

CrazyChristmasLady · 20/12/2010 19:25

Was suppose to have MW today. I am almost 33 weeks and saw her 4 weeks ago. She was adamant she wants to see me after the receptionists last time told me to see the doctor at 16 weeks which means I have seen my MW twice in 33 weeks of pregnancy.

Due to weather appointment was cancelled. Was then told next appointment is 17th January! I will be almost 38 weeks and DS was born just after this time. To me it is not good enough that I am expected to wait with no checks at this late stage of pregnancy. I have a consultant appointment on 5th January to discuss my birth after a previous forceps and 3rd degree tear birth. I really really wanted today to go over my rough plan with my MW (who is fantastic and supportive) as I am also worried that the consultant is going to dismiss my plan and possible senarios and outcomes.

I have been told I can see my doctor if I am worried. She wasn't there today and has no appointments until 10th January. I can try and phone first thing in the morning to get an appointment for that day (I loathe doing it, it is going to be a nightmare trying to get one but it seems it is my only choice).

My MW is at the childrens centre 1 morning a week, that is it. I asked if I can leave a message for her to phone me so I can at least speak to her and they said they can't do that as they won't see her. She told me last time she isn't allowed to give out her mobile number (some people on here suggested asking for that, as that is what they have). I have no way of contacting a MW. My surgery tell me to go to the childrens centre, the childrens centre tell me to ask the surgery.

It is a complete fucking shambles and I am sarting to get worried because of the birth I had last time. I am allowed to have an elective c section but I am keen to avoid this but if I can't talk to anyone about it, I am getting so worried I am thinking about just doing it (even though I don't want to). I have to give them my decision on the 5th which is why I want to discuss my plan first!

I am freaking out!

OP posts:
littleducks · 20/12/2010 19:29

Can you call the head of maternity services at the hospital you are booked into? Maybe you could see a hospital midwife instead community MW

iamaLeafontheWind · 20/12/2010 19:30

Have you been having the regular blood tests, urine & blood pressure checks? That sounds like something is very amiss.

LeChatRouge · 20/12/2010 19:32

This isn't good enough. You or the baby don't need this anxiety.

Ring, or go to if possible, the surgery and ask to speak to the practice manager and explain - you have a right to the care you need and this clearly isn't it. I don't believe you cannot speak to the MW - she must have some time free if appointments are being cancelled due to the weather. There has to be a way of getting her to call you - this is what you need to talk to the manager about.

Alternatively, can you see any of the doctors at the practice? Or speak to your GP on the phone and ask her to get the MW to call you?

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 20/12/2010 19:33

YANBU, you are getting absoluetly crap support largely as a result of communication issues (isn't it always).

But they're MUST be a way to contact your team of mw's maybe if you posted your PCT / local area on here you might be able to get some numbers for the base where you would be able to leave a message for the mw (she will have an office and admin support somewhere, even if you could only get a phone chat with your mw that may help settle your mind.

hth

CarGirl · 20/12/2010 19:33

We can speak to our maternity team at the hospital - well leave a message for the midwife to phone back.

LifeForRent · 20/12/2010 19:36

It's a bit rubbish that they aren't very good. But women do manage to cope without midwife lead pregnancies/labours/births. I saw my midwife just twice because I didn't want any interference. Don't panic, if you feel unwell get yourself down to the hospital, but if you feel fine in yourself then it would be unnecessary to see the midwife.

orangepoo · 20/12/2010 19:41

I think there are 2 issues really:

  1. You need the regular checkup - bp, urine etc. To get this, you should make a GP appointment as any GP can do this - MW not necessary. It is very poor that this is not being done.

  2. Your plans for the birth - is there a number on your maternity notes for your MW team - you could leave a message there? If not, you could see a hosptial midwife on 5th Jan when you see the consultant? Each time I have seen the cons, I have seen a MW as well. You could also discuss your worries/options on mumsnet, but obviously not everyone giving advice is a MW or a doc so you must check anything that you decide to do with the hospital.

I do understand the frustration when maternity services are simply not provided. It is disgraceful.

Liskey · 20/12/2010 19:46

you should get bpl, urine tests done - you can feel perfectly healthy and still get pre-ecampsia (i did).

Original poster
CrazyChristmasLady · 20/12/2010 19:46

Life I had a very bad birth with DS and it is important that I discuss this birth with someone before I tell the consultant my decision. They won't advise me, they told me it is up to me if I want to take to risks.

If I can't get in with the doctor, I will phone the midwives at the hospital. It isn't far for me and is about the same distance to my surgery anyway so I have no problem going there, if they will see me.

According to my chart that the MW gave me, I should be having checks every 2 weeks from now on, yet they are expecting me to go from 29 weeks (when I last saw her) to 38 weeks without seeing anyone! I asked before how to get in touch and she just pointed out a few numbers on my forms (one of which is only available for 1 hour a day).

Everytime I phone my surgery, they say she isn't based there, she only does the booking in appointments there for 1 morning a week and I have to phone the childrens centre (the only number they will give me is the number of the childrens centre) then I phone the childrens centre and they say they only rent a room out and they have no way of contacting her and I have to get in touch with the surgery! Arrgghhhhhh.

I have a stinking cold, M.E. and a vewry active 2 year old and loads to do this week before xmas, which I now can't because I feel so lousy, I really don't need this stress as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
CrazyChristmasLady · 20/12/2010 19:49

Exactly Liskey, I want to know that everything is ok, plus I have had period type pains on and off which I wanted to ask about. Probably braxton hicks (even though I have had them from 20 weeks and they haven't been painful) but I just wanted some reassurance.

Will try the hospital MW if I can't see a doc and given how it has been the weekend and they had no appointments today, I don't fancy my chances of getting in with them tbh.

My trust (South West in case anyone is down here) isn't known for being good with their services.

OP posts:
KatieMiddleton · 20/12/2010 19:49

If you're in England there should be a maternity services liaison committee (MSLC) who will be very interested in talking to you. You're local nct probably have reps on it - find your local branch at www.nct.org.uk and ask for the telephone number if your rep.

Fwiw I went through something similar (mw went AWOL, unable to contact etc etc) and found the GP surgery very help re apts and checks when I explained situation.

Stay calm and take the steps above and all will be well.

stoatie · 20/12/2010 19:50

On your notes do you have a list of contact numbers (our CMWs have mobiles but unfortunately yours don't) - also included on our notes is the number for community midwives office (in hospital here) which is their base and messages can be left for them. Failing that - contact head of maternity service or your midwives' Supervisor of midwives - explain not a complaint but a concern that you need to see midwife etc

lal123 · 20/12/2010 19:51

You need to phone your local maternity unit to find out how to contact her - she won't be employed through either the surgery or the children's centre. Where are you? It is a bollocks trying to get hold of them - I only managed to get hold of mine as I work in NHS and did some work with consultant midwife - so knew her number.

Original poster
CrazyChristmasLady · 20/12/2010 19:55

I'm in the South West. If I don't get in with the docs tomorrow (and I'm not holding my breath, they are a nightmare to get appointments on the day) I'll phone the hospital MWs. I'm pretty sure thats the number that is on the front of my notes. If not I'll just ring the hospital and ask them to put me through to Maternity and they can direct me.

Communication here is really shocking. Didn't have this problem with my last surgery at all.

OP posts:
CoronaAndLime · 20/12/2010 19:56

I'm in north cornwall and have some phone numbers for my old M/w (dd is 18 wks)

Could help if you are in the same area pm me.

Original poster
CrazyChristmasLady · 20/12/2010 20:02

I'm the other side of the bridge unfortunately. Thanks anyway though. Xmas Smile

I know someone who has just moved to Cornwall and she had a baby first aid class as part of her pregnancy 'care'. Would love something useful like that. Also getting 6 ante natal classes instead of the 3 crap ones I had last time that told me nothing I hadn't read in books and magazines. Seems there is a huge difference in where you are which is a shame.

A friend of mine had her 1st somewhere different and she said they do the booking in appointments at the house so they can get to know you in your own surroudings! I was really Xmas Shock at that one.

OP posts:
Liskey · 20/12/2010 20:08

My booking in appt was at home as well - and got mobile nos for a couple of MW's - didn't help when the network went down though!

I think that sounds sensible plan contacting hospital MW's.

fannybaws · 20/12/2010 20:10

Hi Crazy Christmaslady, I am very sorry you are having this extra stress just when you don't need it.
Please phone your local maternity hospital and ask switchboard to page the oncall supervisor of midwives. There is one on 24 hours a day, and ask her to arrange timely and appropriate care for you.
If she is in anyway unhelpful ask her for her name and her pin number.
Many units also have a consultant midwife, and they are excellent people to discuss previous difficult births and future birth plans with. So maybe ask for an appointment with her before your consultant apt too.
Hth, let us know how you get on x

Haribojoe · 20/12/2010 20:12

I would suggest contacting the maternity unit where you are booked and asking to be put in touch with a Supervisor of Midwives.

They should be able to help you go through your plan and make sure you get to see who else you need to before you have to make the decision re mode of delivery.

HTH and good luck Xmas Smile

SantasENormaSnob · 20/12/2010 20:13

Ring your community midwives office.

Ask for a home visit for antenatal check, explain dates etc.

If no joy ring antenatal ward or delivery suite and ask them to advise.

luckykitty · 20/12/2010 20:15

We are not allowed midwifes mobile number, there is a central team number to call in the morning for an hour if you need to speak to someone with a general enquiry, all the way through my pregnancy though the MW and consultant etc has always said to just call the delivery suite at the hosp we are planning to actually give birth at (this prob doesnt help if not planning hosp birth - sorry!) and they have been so helpful on several occasions.
I think at some point Ive called every number on the front of my green notes and got through to someone who could help in some way, even if not directly.

I hope you manage to get it sorted out, its rubbish and totally unecessary stress and they should get their act together and look after you Xmas Sad

Nevereatyellowsnow · 20/12/2010 20:26

Yanbu, thats really rubbish. Just a thought, maybe PALS could help you? I've heard they are good at getting things sorted when someone is not receiving the care they should be getting. If you call the hospital you are booked in at and ask the switchboard for PALS they will put you through. I hope you get this sorted soon Smile

OhBuggerandArse · 20/12/2010 22:13

A lot of the time receptionists at surgeries seem to be briefed to be as offputting as possible - the practice managers see it as protecting their staff.

Words can't express how peverse I think this is and how much you shouldn't have to do this - but in similar situations in the past I've had success with throwing the most enormous wobbly and refusing to give up until I get an appointment - once you finally get to speak to either a doctor or a midwife you will probably find that there was a perfectly workable system through which you could have been seen all along.

It's outrageous to have to go to those lengths, and you need to have a fair amount of postnatal insanity in my case chutzpah to bring it off, but there is no possible way in which there won't be any spaces between now and January - they'd need them for emergencies if nothing else.

What you need to find out is how the spaces have been allocated, and how you can legitimately request one. Why that information can't be easily available is a mystery, and the whole thing is both infuriating and worrying, because you just know that for every person who's prepared to make a holy show of themselves stand their ground there are a whole lot more who just accept the situation - and some of those must be in very real need.

MamaMary · 20/12/2010 22:30

Am Angry to hear this.

I had to fight to get an appointment at 37 weeks and I'm so glad I did: turned out I had pre-eclampsia.

Poor you Sad - hope you get it sorted soon.

onceamai · 20/12/2010 22:39

Phone message and recorded delivery letter to supervisor of midwives expressing your disappointment at the difficulty you are having accessing an essential service. Little reminder about lack of bp and bloods and that you hope nothing is wrong in their absence should do the trick. Create an audit trail that could be produced if anything goes wrong and they will be falling over themselves to help you.

BTW - I always found the consultants about a hundred times more helpful and informative than the midwives and would rather have had the appointments the other way round, ie, consultant then midwife to quote the consultant.