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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not to let DD visit her "boyfriend"?

32 replies

VallhalaLalalalalalalalaaaaaa · 20/12/2010 16:48

By "boyfriend" I mean the latest heart-throb, a boy from school. It'll be someone else next week!

DD1 is 15. We live in a currently snow-covered semi-rural village in East Anglia. Naturally as traffic crunches the snow down and the temperature drops, that snow will turn to ice (and is doing so tonight). The boy lives in another village, about 5 miles away and accessed through narrow country roads. As I understand it, though DD1 of course swears differently, the roads aren't well gritted - certainly there's a petition going in the village store to persuade the Council to grit the roads so I'd think it unlikely.

DD1 plans to go to the lad's house and back tomorrow, in either his father's or his brother's car. Silly girl, only last week did she get dropped off by one of the brothers and announce, "He drives like Dad!". That didn't cheer me - my ex drives like a bloody idiot - not just fast (I'm ex-motor trade, love fast cars and am a petrol-head), but dangerously, overtaking stupidly, up people's arses, you get the idea, I'm sure.

So, at least whilst there is snow and ice on the roads and no sign of thaw or improvement, I have said no - I don't feel comfortable with the idea of a stranger driving my child about on country roads in this weather.

And now I'm the meanest, most over-protective bitch on this earth, according to DD1.

Am I?

OP posts:
thenightsky · 20/12/2010 17:47

Oooh... didn't see in the OP that she'd called you a 'bitch'.

Definitely no lift then!

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 20/12/2010 17:49

ok, sorry must have misread the overnight thing

anyway, that was a secondary thing

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 20/12/2010 17:50

at 15, thsi isn't a 'freedom' that she should be given. it would be her risk (she could be injured) but completely out of her control (someone else driving) so no YANBU to tell her no.

saying she needs to be given a bit of freedom and make her own decisions is irrelevant when it is something as dangerous as this. if you let her make teh decision to go and she was very badly injured, you're not just going to say "oh well, you were warned" this could seriously affect teh rest of her life so no, this isn't one for her to decide.

VallhalaLalalalalalalalaaaaaa · 20/12/2010 18:00

She didn't call me a bitch (this time - she has and believe me she wouldn't be going anywhere for weeks if she did!).

I can't take her as I don't have a car. Besides. I wouldn't drive in these conditions.

I think that the majrity opinion is with me and I'll stand by my decision in that case. Thanks - it's nice to know that I'm not always in the wrong!

OP posts:
SantaClausImWorthIt · 20/12/2010 18:02

Why don't you suggest that he comes to visit her at your house? Then he can decide if he's going to take the risk!

YAdefinitelyNBU

TattyDevine · 20/12/2010 18:07

That's a good suggestion, Santa. That's what a "rules" girl would do Wink Grin Wink

PeeringIntoAFestiveVoid · 20/12/2010 19:15

YADNBU!

If she's going to be collected and then dropped back, why can't the BF be dropped off at and then collected from yours instead?

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