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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that my 4 X 4 is not a taxi?

24 replies

chakalala · 20/12/2010 16:37

My friend went shopping today and got stuck at the city centre so i had to go collect her DD from nursery as well as picking her up as she had abandoned her car.

I also had to take my other friend to her doctors appointment and wait for her while she did some shopping.

Friend No. 1 has just called to say that can i go pick her DH up at the train station when he could just get a bus?

Like really? I was meant to be at home today relaxing with my DS and DD but i have been driving around all day? I love them and will help but i feel a bit ...used?

Ok, i know, unconditional friendship but still, just a rant!

OP posts:
LittleMissHoHoHoFit · 20/12/2010 16:39

Er, YABU if you go when you don't want to. You are being a bit of a doormat.

If you don't want to go out, then say sorry, no can do.

CURLYMAMMA · 20/12/2010 16:46

I think you were great to do the first two pick ups seeing as it involved a child and a docs appt, but surely a grown man could get the bus as you say.

YANBU

thenightsky · 20/12/2010 16:49

Say no, you cannot leave your children (assuming they are young) and you don't want to get them all togged up and drag them out in the car in the dark at a time of day when the roads will be busy.

Or just say no, sorry, cannot make it.

I think I you were a fab friend doing the first two lifts though.

Niceguy2 · 20/12/2010 16:49

I think it depends on the friend she is. If the shoe was on the other foot, would she sacrifice what she was doing to help?

If she would do for you what you did for her then YABU.

If she would not, then you should have just said no.

HalfTermHero · 20/12/2010 16:51

Well done re the first 2 lifts but now your friend is taking advantage. Ring back, say that something has come up and don't do it.

mazzystartled · 20/12/2010 16:51

It was really nice of you to help your friends out today. I would appreciate it and I expect they do too.

Your friend's DH is taking the proverbial (probably). I'd tell him you are at home with your children and you can't drag them out in the cold and dark.

SmilingHappyBeaver · 20/12/2010 16:51

Funny how many people slag off 4x4 drivers until the snow sets in, and then everyone wants to be your best friend Hmm. Yep, been there!

mayorquimby · 20/12/2010 16:51

Say no if you don't want to.
I'd find it presumptious as well and say yadnbu but then again a lot of people on here seemed to think that farmers should be a gritting service so you never know how some people will feel.

FindingAManger · 20/12/2010 16:54

YABU - think of it as karma - pay back for killing off the planet so efficiently in your (most likely unnecessary) gas guzzling 4x4. It's only in conditions like these that 4x4's can be put to proper use (perhaps I'm wrong & you are off-roading in the weekends) - so get to it, it's practically your duty.

BTW I'm 21 wks pregnant and am really struggling on the ice getting into work - could you pick me up tomorrow about 8.30 please?

Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 20/12/2010 16:57

Funny how owning a 4x4 makes people think they know how to drive on snow and ice safely...

bumperella · 20/12/2010 16:58

I think it's good of you to help your freinds out when otherwise they would be really stuffed; I'm sure they are very grateful and will remember the favour. It would be a bit mean to refuse to help out if they were in genuine dire need though. I assume they would similarly help you in return.
However ...if there are still buses running from train station then making a special trip for your friends DH seems really excessive - I would say no to that, unless he is unable to get home in any other way then he's taking the piss.

onceamai · 20/12/2010 16:58

YANBU - when I was a SAHM and the DC were little we bought and sold quite rapidly a Zafira. I was quickly turning into the mum who did all the pick-ups and drop-offs because I didn't have a job. The beaver run finally did it for me. DD + 5 6 year old boys yelling and screaming and waving their feet out of the windows. Frankly it just wasn't safe and it was easier to get a smaller car than to say no. Was that pathetic?

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 20/12/2010 17:02

You had to?

In what way did you have to?

Gun to your head?

Written contract?

No. You agreed to. You didn't have to.

If you didn't want to do it, you should have said no at the time.

It was very kind of you to help your friends. Just don't sit there huffing and puffing that you had to, because you didn't.

You will feel a lot better about it if you say that you chose to help your friends.

Original poster
chakalala · 20/12/2010 17:03

i have just called her back (as she had left a voicemail) and she said she was panicking as i hadnt come back to her sooner????

i told her that i am about to do tea and stuff for my 4yo and 7yo and she said i can drop them off at her house as he is about to get here? I wasnt going to argue so i am off to the train station up to pick up my friends DH.

then again, my own DH might call me as his workplace car park is a bit of a mess too..

OP posts:
thenightsky · 20/12/2010 17:03

ahahha at once.

I went a step further and swapped my 4x4 for a very tiny 2 seater sports car Grin

zipzap · 20/12/2010 17:13

oooh. if she'd just left a message I would have been very tempted not to find it until checking the phone after you'd put the kids to bed as it was just her dh and he could have got the bus Grin

first two were a bit different and it was really nice of you to do those when you probably wanted to be doing other stuff, but think that it is taking the mick a bit to ask for her dh and to dismiss your worries about your kids - you might not have wanted to take them out of the house again (assuming they have had to have a day running errands instead of relaxing at home) especially in the cold and dark...

IAPJJLPJ · 20/12/2010 18:08

chakalala - so you went again then??

please don't bother coming back and moaning. It really gets on my tits when people moan about stuff that is so easily sortable.

If you want to be a mug - that's fine but do it in silence.

Limara · 20/12/2010 18:22

If the road conditions are anything like what they are round here then YABU. If not, then YANBU.

ChippingIn · 20/12/2010 18:28

IAP - I can solve the problem for you much easier than that - don't read threads that annoy you Wink

OP - you are being a bit of a doormat. Why didn't you just say 'Why can't he catch the bus they are running you know?'

IAPJJLPJ · 20/12/2010 18:53

ChippingIn - sorry had to off load Grin

I just get so cross reading thread after thread of people allowing themselves to be taken advantage of.

and then moaning about it ...... and then still letting it happen...... and then moaning ...... etc

LittleMissHoHoHoFit · 20/12/2010 18:53

[mug]

Original poster
chakalala · 20/12/2010 19:14

i didnt go in the end because he arrived at train station before i left the house and he decided to get the bus.

everyone happy

OP posts:
IAPJJLPJ · 20/12/2010 19:31

BE STRONG NEXT TIME!!!!

all for helping others out but only if it is reciprocated and that it doesn't inconvenience yourself

splashy · 20/12/2010 21:30

Yabu if you don't want to just say so!

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