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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In think DP is being a bit of a twat to DS?

53 replies

RawDEal · 20/12/2010 07:37

DS went into town on saturday with a friend to do his own christmas present buying for the first time. (he's only 11) I told him not to spend too much on people's presents and to take advantage of £1 shop etc (as it was his own pocket money he was using).

So anyway he came back with a wrapped present for me (I assume to be a box of biscuits Smile and two £1 boxes of chocolates for his dad. Then he brought out two packets of foxes biscuits for his two grandmas. DP laughed when he brought them out and later said "oh my god that's so embarrassing, I wouldn't DARE buy someone a pack of common biscuits for christmas, that's awful!" Hmm ffs he's 11!! at least he's bothered. DP is being a twat isn't he.

OP posts:
thekidsmom · 20/12/2010 09:23

Poor you.
I love your DS and I've never met him.
Your DP sounds very insensitive - perhaps he has foot in mouth diesease???

Muira · 20/12/2010 09:28

Your 'D'P is an absolute fucking disgrace.

Megatron · 20/12/2010 09:28

Sorry but I don't believe you. I don't believe for a second that as his mother you would allow this behaviour towards your son or that you would have to even ask if he was being a twat. Maybe I'm just cynical.

Ephiny · 20/12/2010 09:31

Your DP sounds cruel and nasty. I hope your son wasn't too upset.

I think biscuits are a nice present btw, I'd be more than happy to get them! And it was very sweet of your DS to want to get people presents out of his own pocket money and take the time to go shopping and choose for everyone. That should be encouraged, not mocked! Surely no one expects an 11 year old to be able to buy big expensive presents?

IAPJJLPJ · 20/12/2010 09:37

What a Git. How completely CRUSHING for your son. Comments like that can completely fell a child's self worth.

What an absolute shit

OldAndUngraceful · 20/12/2010 09:42

Your DP has crushed your lovely DS. I just hope he's man enough to recognise his lack of judgment and apologise to your DS openly and unreservedly.

TheYuleLogLady · 20/12/2010 09:42

Does P not remember being 11 and proud to be choosing and buying presents for the first time? I suspect not.

When the DDs were smaller i used to take them to woolies and let them choose anything (under £2). DD1 bought grandma some toothpaste Grin

monkeyflippers · 20/12/2010 09:44

"When the DDs were smaller i used to take them to woolies and let them choose anything (under £2). DD1 bought grandma some toothpaste grin"

that's a really nice idea, i like that.

andchips · 20/12/2010 09:47

When I was little I bought my mum a twenty pence ring from one of those vending/lucky dip type machines. You know where you put the money in and spin it round.

She wore it all day, visitors must have thought my dad was a right meanie Blush
She still has it now though Grin

To be fair, I only got 50p a week pocket money, so 20p was quite a large proportion!

herbietea · 20/12/2010 09:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

coppertop · 20/12/2010 10:00

Your 11yr-old sounds far more mature than your dp.

roadkillbunny · 20/12/2010 10:53

Your DP was really nasty about your DS lovely thought but from what I understand from what you wrote he didn't make his nasty comment direct to your DS but to you later, if that is the case then it is a tiny tiny bit better but still your ds will pick up on your dp's nasty attitude, give him a lump of coal for Christmas and ask yourself why you are with him.

PfftTheMagicDragon · 20/12/2010 10:57

Your son will remember this, you should tell your DH.

When he was a teenager, H bought some second hand music tapes for his father. He got them from charity shops and music shops, spent AGES looking for ones that his dad would like, bought them with his own money.

He later heard his Dad moaning about what a cheap gift it was and how manky it was because it was second hand. H had worked hard to get him the gift and still remembers his Dad's awful response.

ItsKurriiiistmas · 20/12/2010 11:03

He seems to have completely failed to understand the concept of 'it's the thought that counts' Your DP was really cruel, but what a lovely DS you have - he did incredibly well.
One of the absolute joys of parenting and grandparenting is getting gifts that DC have chosen/made/thought of themselves.

PhishFoodAddiction · 20/12/2010 11:06

Your 'd'p sounds horrible, I hope he didn't say that in front of DS. I'd have gone ballistic if DH did something like that (but then he wouldn't as he's not a complete arse).

Your DS sounds lovely though, and I'm sure his Grandmas will love their biccies Smile.

deaddei · 20/12/2010 11:10

What a wanker.
We have said to the children not to waste their money on us ie spend all their allowance on presents- and not to buy "silly" presents eg tat which will get binned. I know ds has bought dh a penpot for his office and a big tube of Smarties (yum)
And I think I have a book, judging by the shape and the hints I have dropped.

StayingFatherChristmasGirl · 20/12/2010 11:34

Ds3 once bought dh and I matching hideous yellow dog ornaments from the school christmas bazaar for our christmas presents. Neither dh nor I would have dreamt of being so nasty as to let ds3 know that we didn't like them - and to this day he doesn't know.

We looked at the ornaments and saw the thought that had gone into them - and the expenditure, because even though they'd only cost a pound each (they'd come from the headmaster's stall, so I knew how much he charged), that was a sizeable proportion of his pocket money, so it was a lot of money to him - and we treasured the ornaments for the thought and generosity he'd put into them.

OP - your dp has been thoroughly nasty to your son, and he needs a bollocking, and to realise how hurtful what he said was, and then he needs to apologise to your ds - who sounds like a lovely boy, and a son to be proud of.

DontLetTinselDragOnTheFloor · 20/12/2010 11:38

Buy your DP a pack of Hobnobs for Christmas and tippex out the Hob.

ShatnersBassoon · 20/12/2010 11:38

Your partner has treated your son disgracefully. What an awful, cruel thing to say to a child.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 20/12/2010 12:01

Fox's are the posh biccies in this house Xmas Blush

Rollmops · 20/12/2010 13:13

I hope believe you are twolling; if I happen to be mistaken, pack up that vile, common little nasty man grow a backbone that your partner is and live happily ever after and all that
Hmm.

notmyproblem · 20/12/2010 13:15

If your DS is 11, he's probably used to his dad putting him down all the time and making him feel inferior. So this is probably no different right? Sad

It's ok, he'll hit 20 or so and realise he wants nothing to do with his father and by extension his doormat mother who let it all happen over the years. So at least you'll have that to look forward to.

PaisleyLeaf · 20/12/2010 13:19

Aw that's going to make me feel a little bit sad today.
That's rotten, your poor DS.
I don't know how you can right that - he's said it now. Twat!

diddl · 20/12/2010 13:19

"Fox's are the posh biccies in this house"

Here too.

The3Bears · 20/12/2010 13:21

awww how mean, its the fact hes gone and bought them himself which is important :)

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