Feeling guilty after nativity play

[clmc]

My DD had her nativity play at pre-school last week. We were delighted when she was given the part of Mary but part of me question this as I knew she would find the situation very difficult. However, I trusted the staff judgement and went with it. She did start to make noises she didn't want to do but her only reason was she wanted to be an angel. The day before and morning of nativity she was poorly but I felt not enough to let her miss it. How I wish I had. She had a complete panic attack and meltdown, I went to sit with her and made her stay at the front but with me next to her. I was quite hard on her though as I felt if I cuddled her both of us would lose it. She did calm down and stopped crying with the odd sob but now I cannot get the image out of mind, I chose to put her in this situation, how I dealt with it must have looked so harsh and in front of all the other parents. One parent did say I should be proud she stuck it out which I am but I so wish we hadn't gone or I had just taken her back to my seat and cuddled her. Sorry for the rant but very upset.

Awww, I'm so sorry to hear your story. It's really difficult to decide what the best thing is to do in that situation, with so many people around. I think you probably did the right thing though, because she will be learning that she can cope and get through these things whereas if you had taken her away from the situation then she will be more likely to want to run away from difficult situations in the future.

Tough call, lovely parent - don't worry. She will be fine.

When my son was in a school play one of the other kids had a similar 'meltdown' - he hadn't been well either, and was stressed about the performance. He stayed on stage, managed to finish and got the biggest cheer at the end. The kids were all very kind to him and there were no repercussion.

I am hoping that it will be the case for your DD. You should be proud of her, and tell her that you are, for staying on stage and finishing.

When I say lovely parent - I mean you rather than the parent that spoke to you at the end :)

I would have done the same as you, being firm I mean. I feel with my 2, especially ds1 in a situation like that if I'm soft and really cuddly with him he acts up for longer and longer and can carry on crying much after the event has finished. I find cuddling for a short while and then being "right all better now lets get on with it" or something to that effect, works better.

Don't worry about the other parents, they'll have only been looking at their little darlings and will hardly of noticed dd

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And if they did notice they will just have been relieved it wasn't their child that panicked.

Thank you for your messages of support - has help give me a reality check - had gone over this so much in my mind I had lost sight of the actual picture I think!! Your messages have made me feel so much better. We have watched the DVD and told her how proud we are of her of staying up front - her comment was just next year I want to be an angel!!!
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