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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be really upset with my brother

6 replies

tomorrowsanotherday · 19/12/2010 16:06

My brother and his DP have a DD aged four and I can count on two hands the number of times I have seen her.
This is not through lack of trying on my part and it really upsets me. There has never been any kind of falling out but he has changed a lot since meeting his DP around 5/6 years ago.
We now see him a couple of times a year compared to several times a week before he was with her.
They live with her mother and until recently her sister and her kids as well and if any of my family go round there to visit we do not get to spend any quality time with my DN.
He is welcome to come and visit us anytime and bring his DP and DD. Neither of them drive and we often tell them we are willing to go and collect them and take them home whenever they are ready and they don't have to stay long but would be lovely to see DN.
They take us up on this offer once a year on DN's birthday and christmas.
This year I really do not have a lot of money for gifts and won't have DN's present until wednesday.
My dad told me today that my brother is coming round on tuesday to swap presents and I need to take my present for DN round to my parents house by then.
AIBU to not take round anything? I have just about had it with trying to have a relationship with people who are obviously not interested in me.
I am in tears as I write this but DN barely knows me and won't even talk to me when she sees me so it's not like she'll even notice there's not a present from me.

OP posts:
jollyoldstnickschick · 19/12/2010 16:12

Oh dear .....Its very awkward I know - I think you should just say you have made plans for Tuesday and so will have to drop DNs present to their home on wednesday and collect your dcs gifts too.

monkeyflippers · 19/12/2010 17:28

aah that's sad. not sure what to suggest.

SkyBluePearl · 19/12/2010 19:58

can you talk to your brother about how yu feel? tell him you want to spend more time toether. can you arrange for her xmas treat to be a day out with you and brother at the zoo or a farm? you can draw a zoo/farm voucher and give it to them tuesday. if money is really tight there mght be cheaper options? Voucher for a teddy bear tea party at your house and you can give her a little tea set and eat sandwiches/crisps on a picnic rug with stuffed bears.

carrotcake29 · 19/12/2010 20:04

I would say to him that you would love to spend more time with him and your dn. However, if you really feel that he has made his own life and he is not wanting to have you in it very often I would probably just keep going with seeing them a couple of times a year but not spend lots on presents if they are not going to be appreciated in terms of who they have come from. With regards to Tuesday....I might be inclined to say that I ordered something online and it had not yet come. That way you can get out of the awkwardness of not taking a gift with you. HTH

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 19/12/2010 20:07

i agree with jolly.

monkeyflippers · 20/12/2010 06:31

SkyBluePearl - aw I love your teddy bear picnic idea!

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