to think this is a little odd

[spanieleyes]

My ex-parents-in-law have just sent a cheque to buy Xmas presents for my two sons, which is very nice of them but they have sent £125 with a note saying £75 for eldest DS and £50 for youngest. Both are "grown up" ( eldest is 18 and youngest 16 ) and I can't quite understand why there should be a difference in the two. I'm thinking of just splitting the money between them and ignoring the note.

I agree, split the money and say nothing about the note. It is odd.

I agree that is odd.

I would do the same, and have £62.50 each.

Do they have a favourite? Do they think the 18 year old is more in need?

Most people I know spend less when kids get older, not more!

i would just split it, seems a bit weird that they would send one more

That's odd. My parents, and PIL would never do that. Even when it's gifts they are buying, where no-one would necessarily know how much each had cost my mum goes to ridiculous lengths to ensure she spends the same on each.

The only reason I can think of for doing this is - have they missed the older one's birthday and so including Birthday money in there?

BTW - they are pretty generous

Call them and ask if they have a particular reason? Tell them that 16 yr olds and 18 yr olds generally want/need equally expensive things an dyou'd rather split it equally?

My GPs used to do that. They would send my dad a cheque for an amount, stating £x for dad, £x for mum (always less) and £x for each of us, going down in £5 increments. It was indicative of their mentality that there should be a hierarchy in the family (at least I didn't get less as the only girl or anything!) Dad used to give us £20 each and he and mum keep the rest

Is the older one at Uni and maybe more in need of the money than the younger one who lives at home ?
There must be a reason. If its just because he is older then the younger ones time will come.

ahh - I have an aunt that used to do this. In her mind there was an "adult" (18+) gift amount, and a "child" gift amount (17 and under) - I still remember being put out that when I was 14 my brother was getting £10 for his birthdays and Christmas from her and was still only getting £5 (and this continued until my 18th birthday when I got the "magic" £10 )

The eldest has just gone off to University ( but has more money than the rest of us but until this year they have always treated them the same. I'm just going to treat it as a mental abberation and split the money equally between the two.
They don't send anything through ex-he lives abroad and doesn't "do" Xmas presents at all-which is perhaps why PIL are so generous. They are lovely and I don't want to upset them so will just overlook it and not say a word!

Me and my sis are the youngest of four.

Each year my uncle gives us both money for christmas (used to be £20, went up to £30 when mother died) but dosen't give it to the elder two, dunno why. It drives my elder sister potty

So much so she came up with the theory it was meant for the babybells, until I pointed out my bro dosen't get it for his dd

T'is a mystery.

It's so nice to have eldest DS back from Uni,we shall all have a LOVELY Christmas