To think that Women are being tricked?

[Truckulent]

Now I'm just a simple man but after a snowed in day yesterday with very little sport to watch and England getting thrashed in the cricket so I couldn't even watch the highlights of that, I spent a long time reading MN.

And the threads I read about housework and washing just amazed me. I mix with a lot of men and these conversations would never happen, only with women I know.

I think women are being sold this idea of, keep the perfect house, perfect washing and cleaning and make sure Christmas is perfect idea that must be frustrating and very shackling.

I'm going to make sure my DC don't get into this game.

So AIBU to think a lot of women are being tricked and by who?

really brandybutterfly? if thats an excuse you've heard then that man needs to get a better excuse! that's pathetic!
I expend more energy worrying about mess, but me and DH both have to expend the same amount of energy on the actual cleaning, its just not a big deal for him, but he knows it has to be done.

In our house there is a noted difference in perception... dp and i both like having a clean home but he just doesn't seem to see a lot of the things that i do that drive me round the bend. And his attitude is mostly 'If it doesn't bother me why should i do it? Dirty windows aren't affecting the children's quality of life so what's the panic?'

Yes it's unfair and yes it rankles but i don't feel I'm being tricked into anything because of my sex. I was raised by a father who is quite houseproud and will do any jobs that need doing... he's not as obsessive as my mother (who once tried to clean the floor under the highchair while the baby was eating and got a bowl of mango dropped on her head for her trouble ) but when he worked abroad and had a flat there it was immaculately kept. I stayed with him for a few weeks and although his methods of doing things were different to my mothers the end result was a pristine, tidy home.

DPs dad is ex-army and does 95% of the housework in the home, he's constantly on the go and the house it kept tidy with military precision, his mother does little for the most part as it's generally done before anyone can think of doing it. I once left the baby's bowl and spoon on a counter while i wiped down the baby and by the time i turned around again the bowl and spoon were washed, dried and stacked away.

I know several families where the man is the more obsessive about the house... granted i know more where the woman has sole responsibility but all of those homes are household with a SAHM and fathers that work extremely long hours.

ditto right back at you brandybutterfly!

I can't believe a man would find it difficult to clean because it calls his masculinity into question though, that just seems like a really rubbish excuse for not wanting to do it to me!

YY Posie, my MIL says 'isn't dh good' when he does something quite ordinary like looking after ds. (MIL generally lovely but that comment does wind me up.)

My MIL and my mum used to tell me how wonderful dh was - he might have changed a nappy or something very ordinary like Posy and edam say; but he'd only do it when one of them was there to witness it, and if I was there then good god, why the hell should he waste his valuable time doing it? So he didn't.

I've mentioned this before on other threads, but it does still irk me.

DH and I had taken DS out one day and both of us had forgotten to bring a snack for DS. It wasn't really an issue as we could buy whatever we need. However, 3 ladies we knew commented on it, and spoke to DS (who was a young baby) and said, "Oh, isn't your mummy silly?"

I was and and pointed to DH and said that he'd forgotten too.

None of them said anything to him.

Well aren't we the generation that can change attitudes with how we bring up our children?

Is that biscuit for me? Thanks I'll just go and get a cup of tea.

I agree with Truck, and Brandy. I am a SAHD, when I told my colleagues that I'd be a SAHD I got a lot of comments about the fact that I'd have to do the nappy changes, and even the hoovering!
I worked in a male dominated workplace, but the comments came from the women there too. There was definately a feeling, from some, that I was undermining my masculinity. Sad really.
As you say Truck, I'm sure there is a plenty more thaat we can do, but at least we can bring our kids up not to be like that.

I did have a comment at work about why I was going to parents evening as that's the mother's role surely.

I think men who do a bit get a lot of praise. Men who do a lot are viewed differently

I'm considered a bit of an oddity at work having the children so much, and as I can't be flexible it's affected my career.

I don't have any Jammy Dodgers, will Digestives work?

But after reading the thread about what scared you when you were younger I'd be more worried about the vampires from Salem's lot scratching on my window.

A novel biscuit? A Tale of Two Bourbons? Far from the Madding Rich Tea?

Ah I see. Don't have any. A majority male house, Milk Chocolate, plain Chocolate and ordinary Digestives only.