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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

not to understand this phone-call with my DM?

47 replies

ChristmasTrolleyRage · 18/12/2010 22:16

Right 2/4 of the DCs are ill with lethargy, temperature, sickness and weakness.

DM phones to tell me about her "friend Tallulah, you know Tallulah, the one with the window boxes and the open top car (erm, noooooo ), well she was on the phone to her daughter in Bristol - you know, the one with the red kitchen and her friend was the one that ran off with the hairdresser to Australia (more ) well - she says her children have the same symptoms so I'm just phoning you to tell you it's obviously a nationwide disease and it's going round the country."

Silence.

Chaos struggles to think of what to say. (Rare)

"Oh er thanks for letting me know mom."

WTF was the point of it all?

What can I do with that information?

Huh?

I am completely flummoxed.

OP posts:

DaisySteiner · 19/12/2010 09:44

Bathsheba - have you never noticed all the posts on this forum in a similar vein?!

jumpyjack · 19/12/2010 09:53

This thread has reminded me of the time I was talking on the phone to my mother about my newborn son and how he was sometimes spilling after feeds.

Always quick to jump from common conditions to possible devastating complications, I held my breath and waited. She didn't let me down.

She responded by telling me about her boss's daughter's 5 month old who was also vomiting after feeds, but went on to say that she wondered if it might be anorexia.

There was just deafening silence at my end.

InWithTheITCrowd · 19/12/2010 10:17

Hahaha. Thank goodness it isn't just here.

MIL: you know sheila who I used to work with? The one who didn't come to your wedding? Her son just passed his driving test. Well her other son and his wife are the ones we are going to the Pink concert with - I got you and DH tickets, you know, but I sold them before I told you about them, because you can't go because of the baby well they have a daughter whostruggles to sleep, and they recommend a dummy.

Me: what?

MIL; oh it wasn't you - it was the other DIL

QuietTiger · 19/12/2010 10:38

You all live with my family! My MIL is exactly like this thread - she tells me all sorts of random stuff about people I don't know or give a shit about and expects me to hold a full conversation about them. She also tags things on to their names so she can remember them when talking about them to me.

e.g. We have Mary-big-garden, Mary-small-breasts (seriously) and Mary-wonky-ears. Then we have Sandra-Tescos (apparently according to MIL, she oddly, works in Tescos), Sandra-tree (because she has a tree in her garden) and the list goes on. It makes for bizare conversations..

MIL (to DH who knows none of these people): Sandra-Tescos is having a baby, but she thinks it might be twins, but then Mary-Wonky-ears is having a grand-daughter. Do you think they'll be born on the same day as Mary-big-garden because it'll be a nice suprise for her birthday...

WriterofDreams · 19/12/2010 10:46

Sounds exactly like my Gran, who would have been a huge asset to the KGB or the Gestapo. She knows absolutely every single detail of the life of every single person who lives within a two mile radius of her, and the details of the lives of every relative they've had alive or dead. She even used to tell me things I didn't know about my best friend, whose dad worked in the same organisation as her! (bear in mind that they didn't actually know each other, just happened to work in the same very large building at completely different jobs). So conversations with her usually tend along the lines of "Sheila's daughter, who used to go out with that boy Sean in 1978, just had her fifth son but of course everyone knows it doesn't belong to her husband at all because she's been seeing that man Peter whose father used to work for Guinness back in 1953..." and so on. It's actually very entertaining, very much like a sordid novel.

carrotcake29 · 19/12/2010 15:10

This has to be the funniest thread I have ever read! pmsl My mum was exactly the same and would also talk in hushed tones as if they could hear her gossiping.

Original poster

ChristmasTrolleyRage · 19/12/2010 21:52

I'm glad to know I not the only one experiencing this Strange Mother Phenomenon.

The ill 2 are now better - the other 2 are now ill.

OP posts:

NowPlease · 19/12/2010 22:45

PMSL at this thread.

But sorry about you're DCs CTR.

Original poster

ChristmasTrolleyRage · 19/12/2010 23:23

Thanks NowP, they're not too bad, but I hope they sleep well.

OP posts:

Original poster

ChristmasTrolleyRage · 20/12/2010 14:06

She's just phoned as she knows I'm stuck in with the 2 ill ones (and the 2 healthy ones) to see if I needed anything.

"I do, actually, but are you sure you're going out?"

"Oh no, I'm not going out in this weather."

AAAaaaaaaargh.

OP posts:

smithylovesme · 20/12/2010 16:00

LOL :o
This thread has really cheered me up think i have what your 2DC have and the woman in Bristol with the red kitchen DC's too so must be a nationwide thing as i am in the midlands

jessiealbright · 20/12/2010 16:20

I had a very confused "conversation" with my own mother about "this new thing- it's called norovirus. It's sweeping the country. They have it in Durham at the moment". I live in Wiltshire.

Still, it's an improvement on "Well, you never got colds as a baby because I went over the kitchen worktops with milton, night and morning. I spent a lot of money for your health there".

onmyfeet · 20/12/2010 16:45

jumpyjack-"She responded by telling me about her boss's daughter's 5 month old who was also vomiting after feeds, but went on to say that she wondered if it might be anorexia.

There was just deafening silence at my end."

TidyHollyBush · 20/12/2010 16:52

I had one of those conversations with my DM on Saturday when she phoned me at work because it was very important.

The conversation went a bit like this:
(all names have been changed to protect the innocent)

DM - Do you remember Mary Jones?

Me- No

DM - You do, her mom is Margaret Jones

Me - No, still don't know who you mean

DM - Yes, you do they are related to your Unlce Bob

Me - No, sorry

DM - You know who I mean her family lived in Random Street

Me - No, not a clue

DM - Yes you do, she went to primary school with you (I'm 41 )

Me - No, sorry I still don't know who you mean, why?

DM - I wondered if you'd stayed in touch with her and know her married name.

Me - Erm, you know that I never kept in touch with anyone from school, why do you want to know.

DM - Oh well, she died last week and I thought you might be upset if you saw it in deaths coloum of the paper (which DM reads avidly each day).

Me - Ok thanks for letting me know

Original poster

ChristmasTrolleyRage · 20/12/2010 20:11

Madness TidyHB - Doya think it may be in the water?

OP posts:

TidyHollyBush · 20/12/2010 20:15

I don't think it's in the water - unfortunately I think it's a old lady thing and we are destined to do it to our own DCs eventually

Puffykins · 20/12/2010 20:28

My mother rings me nearly every day to ask how DS his, and compares his progress to the dog's. Seriously.

Before I got married, she rang me every single time she heard of anyone, ANYONE, getting engaged. And MADE UP what their wedding was going to be like. As in "Oh darling, did you hear? Jessica Heathcoat-Thingummy's Goddaughter Alice has just got engaged, they're getting married at home and they're having long trestle tables instead of round ones and lots and lots of little bridesmaids," etc.

Then she'd be offended when I didn't ask for more details. Which she was INVENTING. (Seriously, I found this out when I talked to some of my step-cousins whose wedding plans I'd heard in minute detail - funny, because they hadn't . . . )

But, back to the present, my DS is finding the snow fascinating "Oh darling, so is Topsy, she just loves it, she's running about on tippy toes."
"Oh well DS can't walk yet."
"Oh, no, well, that's a shame I suppose (he's four months. Same as the dog.) But he will be able to. Dogs are more advanced, of course . . . "

jollyoldstnickschick · 20/12/2010 20:50

Thats like my nanna .

she rang me

nan- how are you?

me- ok nan are you?

nan- you been to the doctors?

me-no nan why?

nan- you dont feel poorly then?

me- no im ok why?

nan- well your mum died when she was 38 and your 36 so I dont want you going the same way as her.

StealthPolarBear · 20/12/2010 20:53

lol at dogs are more advanced
She'll be easting her words when your DS is doing his GCSEs and her dog is licking his balls

Smallstuff · 20/12/2010 21:05

My MIL is like this she often rings me to update me on the low prices of various food stuffs in her local Morrisons... Unfortunately she lives a four hour drive from me so I am unable to take advantage of them.
Her finest hour tho was when me and DH had just got together and were having a lazy Sunday morning in bed (as you do before DC come along!). She was on a mystery coach tour which had landed her and her BF in Manchester... She rang at 8am to ask if DH had any ideas of what they should do in Manchester...we lived in Yorkshire and had never been to Manchester...

Puffykins · 20/12/2010 21:10

Stealth Polar Bear - yes but the dog is 'gifted', you understand. My mother is very competitive . . . .

hellsbells76 · 20/12/2010 21:16

although I noticed with horror I was doing the same thing in reverse on the phone to my dad tonight, telling him how one of my schoolfriends had just had a baby, eg 'you remember ***, you took us swimming when we were 15...' (I'm now 34 and Dad never remembered any of my friends' names even then so why on earth I thought the name would ring a bell 20 years on I have no idea).

My Irish granny was obsessed with death as well. In Ireland (or at least their part of it) the death notices would be read out on the radio every morning (with a tasteful ad for the local funeral parlour to round it off) and the whole household had to stop until Granny had heard all the names and reassured herself that she and her friends lived to see another day.

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