to think XH is a twunt!

[macdoodle]

I'm pretty sure I'm not, but yet again he makes me douby myself :(
My experiences with the nasty twunt are well documented on here, we have 2 DD's (3 and 9). He has been working away for 5 months (so not seen them that long).
He got back Tues, and has seen them the odd hour. He has a "new family", the OW and their baby (also 3)!
I am a GP, last week our out of areas provider were struggling to cover shifts this weekend. After asking if he would have them this afternoon, I agreed to work 1-4pm, about half an hour away.

So we are in Cardiff, we have had lots of snow, but the roads seemed passable. He was ranting that I was mad to go blah blah .Anyway I really dont want to let them down, it will leave a large area unstaffed. And I need the money thanks to the huge debt he left me with (he doesnt pay), and no child support.

So I go, its ok getting there, but as he didnt arrive to get girls till 20 mins before I was supposed to start I arrived 15 mins late and had a backlog to catch up. It was really busy, and I finished late at 4:30, rang him to say I was leaving to an earful of abuse and a "hurry up", ummm nope the roads are now treacherous, I will be careful. I arrive home over an hour later after a nightmare drive home :(

He is furious, but he knows my job can be unpredictable and obviously with the bad weather not a lot I could have done.
But the worst is after he has left DD1 bursts into tears, apparantly he has been short and shouty with her (FFS he hasnt seen her for 5 months!), and was on the phone to GF (in her earshot) moaning about me and being late to pick GF up. She feels he doesnt want to spend time with her and just wants to get off to be with GF and DD, assumably he has been with them all the hours he hasnt seen my DD's so a lot more :(

I do undertand him being annoyed with me, but I have done or paid for ALL the childcare in the last 5 months, and couldnt he have just been nice to the DD's and been angry with me.

They are supposed to go to him tomorrow, DD1 doesnt want to go, I dont want to send them. I wish he would go away and not come back.

YANBU. Will the weather permit DDs to visit tomorrow?

Unfortunately he has a big 4WD, so will be able to get them.
I told DD1 she doesnt have to go if she doesnt want to, she is worried he will be angry with her, FFS, I hate the man. She is a lovely, lovely bright, articulate 9yr old, cant he just enjoy time with her, or at least pretend to :(

Completely understand how you feel. In exactly the same boat with my ex, his new family and her 2 brat kids (and they are actual brats!). As for tomorrow, be honest and say that DD1 doesn't want to go, it's the truth anyway.

As for no maintenance, regardless of earning your own money (well done), go through the CSA. It took me 5 years to pluck up the courage, and I wish I had done it straight away. It's the principle of it, not the amount. Plus, I got one over on the new GF ;-)

Good luck!

for you macdoodle.

He was completely insensitive.

'm trying to be reasonable about your situation and looking at both sides.

While listening to your ex on the phone to his GF, your DD picked up on the stress of her dad being late for his GF presumably because of the weather threat too?

Maybe your DD was concerned for your safety?

Today probably wouldn't have been a good day to build on a relationship between your daughter and her dad in such a short time scale?

Forgot to look at your side of things. No, YANBU.

I am trying to see his side so I can see why he was angry with ME, but FFS cant he just pretend for her!!
I asked if she was worried about me, she said no she knows I am not a wuss, lol what she means is I am pretty able and a coper, she knew I'd be ok :)
He has a big stupid 4WD so was ok in the weather. But I do get why he was cross if he had to go and get her and I was late, its just his attitude and the way he treats DD1!

In 5 months he has had the children for a couple of hrs. FFS, he is a twunt.

You have had them for 5 months!!

Respect!

And your a GP, I wish I was something important like that.

He was trying to look the goodie infront of his partner and that he was doing his best bla bla.

macdoodle you sound like a lovely caring person.
Your DD sounds lovely and funny!

I can't really say anything other that he was being unreasonable tbh and I can't comment because I'm not in your/his position.

I feel really sorry for your DC's with them not seeing their dad for 5 months

Can you tell your ex that your DD was sad?

YASooooooNBU

he is a twunt.

regardless of how (unjustifiably) upset he is with you, his relationship with his DDs is separate and he should not be projecting onto them how he feels about you.

WRT you being late, everyone in the country was late today, he can't seriously blame you for that. has he not seen the news??
my children couldn't even make it home from contact today because the roads are so bad.

if your DD still doesn't want to go tomorrw then don't make her. my friend is going through a similar scenario at the minute. her EXH shouted at her DD one day and was really off with her. she hasn't been back to see him in months. can't blame her really if she knows there is going to be an atmosphere.

He is such a twunt!!!

TWUNT.

Poor DD :(

I would ask DD in the morning if she wants to go or not - without making it seem like you mind either way, if she doesn't want to I would ask DD2 if she still wants to go if DD1 isn't going - if she doesn't then ring him and tell him. If he doesn't like it - tough shit, it's of his own making. If DD2 still wants to come, let him still come and tell him when he gets there that he's only got DD2 today and if she then changes her mid - tough shit. Show your DD's that it's their feelings that count.

Fucking useless twat.