to be worried for santa

[egopostulosomnus]

now we all know santa is amazing, magical, drives a sleigh,stays awake all christmas eve, squeezes down chimneys, has a magic key. Nothing stops santa delivering his gifts to good little girls and boys.

how on earth are mummies and daddies whose deliveries are delayed going to keep santa's reputation intact? we cant let santa be seen to be less magical than he is, is it fair to tell children maybe they were not good little children (NO!)

but he doesnt get stuck in snow, he drives a SLEIGH!

maybe someone could write and illustrate a childrens book about it (not me)

aahh, very good point.

don't worry, santa always makes it through (what about if he leaves an IOU note because they couldn't make the toys on time...?)

The reindeer have all caught reindeer flu (its a cross between swine flu and bird flu which only affects flying mammals like reindeer and bats)

surely they'll have some presents at home, or can get a few presents from the local shops before now and Chrismtas?

And if not nickels idea is a good one - after all FC needed stuff delivered to him to make the toys.........

santa is FINE

He ambled drunkenly into Wyevale this morning, albeit extremely late - they even told the GROWN UPS he was feeding the s*dding reindeer, while mouthing to each other 'where the feck has he got to' in tones of increasing trepidation.

Then the snow machine hadn't been filled and made a sound like a doodlebug ('oops! sorry!')

and all he did was sit there behind his massive beard. He was small and apathetic. But he was alive.

Fear not.

Oh well, my children shouldn't have been so whingy today.

Where they hell does one get coal from anyway?

Maybe tell them theres no snow at the north pole (not true but still...) because we have it all and so it means the reindeer can't get a good run up.

Ive heard that Rudolph has got a bad case of manflu and we all know that the sleigh can't be pulled without Rudolph at the front - how would they all see where they were going without the red nose?

and perhaps, even if he does try to venture out without Rudolph, he may well get a little lost between Australia and Africa, so might be a little bit late!

woops, Hairy here, not Poppett, using someone else's PC

OOOh, yeah...the snow at the North Pole has melted due to global warming... I'm sure you can show them some internet clip of a polar bear on a small peice of ice floating in water. By the time Father Christmas has built a boat and sailed to the mainland, the delivery man will have got through.

Lynete don't about where you live, but we get coal from EdMed.

talkig of which - one year my ex put a lump of coal in my stocking.
he even wrapped it up.