I know that there have been a lot of MIL threads here recently so I will apologise for starting another.
My MIL and I have always had a 'polite' relationship. I have always bitten my tongue when she has criticised me or my parenting skills, until a few years ago. Have always welcomed her to my house, encouraged H to visit her, and done all the right things so that she saw the DC as much as possible.
Five years ago my dear Mum passed away. While I was in the midst of funeral preparations, all MIL could do was ring up every day to hassle H about how she wanted to go the funeral but didn't know how to get there as it was too far for her to drive. It was all about her, too bad that I was in the middle of a very tumultous time in my life.
I appreciated that she wanted to go to the funeral but did not think it was our responsibility. I wanted to be able to drive with my family so that we could have family time before the service.
The end result was that my eldest son (18 at the time) was coerced into driving her and H's sister. I was furious but held it together.
Roll on 12 months, and MIL rang up the night before my birthday and as was her habit, chatted to H, and then asked him to say Happy Birthday. That was when I lost my temper over her behaviour that had been ongoing over the previous 20 years.
H wanted us to discuss it over the phone, but I refused to. She has a habit of twisting words. Because I wouldn't talk to her she wrote me a letter. In it she outlined the fact that she never wanted us to marry, I was not a good wife, I never did family stuff (totally untrue, I did a lot of family stuff), I helped her with her husband when he needed respite care, organised family Christmas functions etc.
The upshot of this was that she decided to never come and stay with us again. Thank God, I thought.
Carry on to now, earlier in the year, MIL booked herself into a hostel to live, but hates it. Whinges about it all the time.
In January H's sisters are going away for a month. Because she hates her hostel so much H has asked MIL to come here for a week. She has said yes.
AIBU to think that she should have kept her promise and not darkened my doorstep again?
AIBU to think H is a little of line by asking her to visit before he asked me if I minded her to visit?