to not want to stay at my FILs girlfriends house

[shirleyhyypia]

its not even his house, and i've met the woman twice!!

i'm all for going to visit them (other end of the country), but would def want to stay in a hotel, especially as we have a small baby who still wakes in the night

my DH thinks its just because its his family, but i have told him, i would gladly stay with any other family. but this just feels weird.

aibu???

why does it feel weird?

You've only met her twice. Fine. Does your husband's dad live there too? I'm assuming your husband has known his dad all his life?

She's your husband's dad's partner. I'm assuming they're pretty stable?

What is it that you feel weird about? Do you have a fear that you can articulate?

What if they were married she would be your step mother in law would you be the same then? Bit mean not to stay at theirs to be honest.

She is family.

but shes not exactly "family" not yet anyway, shes his girlfriend and they've been dating for less than 6 months...

I don't understand why you find it's wierd because of who it is?

but would understand if you were happier in a hotel with your own space with a baby than staying with ANYONE, just don't understand your reasons being because of it being you FILs girlfriend?

If you would stay in the house if it was anyone else in your IL family then I think you should stay there.

If you would prefer to stay in a hotel regardless of who it was then fine

I wouldn't be offended if someone came to see me but stayed in a hotel if they had a baby to manage and prefered their space

hec, i wish i could put it into words better!! :)

"I wouldn't be offended if someone came to see me but stayed in a hotel if they had a baby to manage and prefered their space"

i think it might be a bit of that, shes an ex midwife and has always been very vocal (via FIL) of everything

Plus I guess its a bit becuase he left his former gf to be with her, maybe i feel a bit disloyal to her.

psychoanalysing myself now, lol

I don?t think it?s unreasonable to want to stay in a hotel with your baby when you?re not really comfortable at FIL?s gf?s house. I think I would feel the same, but then I don?t even like staying at my in-law?s house!

It might be a rally nice chance to get to know her, but if you genuinely feel uncomfortable, then just say that you feel that it would be easier and you would feel as though you were imposing less by staying in a hotel, and that you don?t want them woken up all throughout the night.

really* not rally!!

yanbu, you do not know this person and 6 months is very short ahem reletionship.

you need to build a relationship up 1st before sharing her home.

ah that changes things, I stopped picking up the phone all together to a "vocal ex midwife" I know till my LO was about 1

I couldn't be doing with her scare tactics. and if I said A, she'd "do B, because I've seen what can happen..." but if I'd said I'd do be she'd say "just so you know, I've seen babies get X,Y and Z because of B"
couldn't win and was too hormonal to be listening to her stories of dead or damaged babies.

Also did not want to re-hash my birth story, full stop! but especially not with being corrected every time I used a laymans term

so its now a big fat YANBU from my