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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not clean tthe kitchen floor?

27 replies

EdgarAleNPie · 17/12/2010 14:14

it has been three weeks. it is filthy. it is white lino which was my choice - probably not a great choice on my part.

Dh hasn't cleaned it since he laid the lino 2 years ago. I am waiting for him to do it. is this pointless passive aggression on my part?

the track record on these things is a 6 month period in which our bedding wasn't washed (he complained, i decided he could do it if he cared so much...the months went by....)

to aid your judging, i am on mat leave, he is job seeking. We have three kids 4mo-3yo and a dog (dog was state educated :) )

OP posts:
MrsNonSmoker · 17/12/2010 14:19

We had a new kitchen floor laid in August and have only cleaned it once since. And we have a dog. Its a beautiful dark wood, can't see a mark on it. I think I should add "unfortunately" to that sentence. Have decided to clean it for Christmas and have purchased appropriate mop etc. Feeling positive about it so don't bring me down. Obviously, those months without sight of mop means the 3 second rule does not apply (if I drop something on it and its there for less than 3 seconds that still means we can't eat it).

And yes, although it sounds like YANBU, there is still no way he's going to clean it.

MadamDeathstare · 17/12/2010 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare · 17/12/2010 14:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wordsonascreen · 17/12/2010 14:27

6 months for bedding ?
thats just skanky

MrsNonSmoker · 17/12/2010 14:29

I'd rather clean Edgar's floor than do my tax return.

thighsmadeofcheddar · 17/12/2010 14:30

Clean the floor, then talk to him about sharing the responsibility for household chores.

6 months for bedding? how could you stand it?

Wordsonascreen · 17/12/2010 14:30

I wouldn't sleep in Edgars sheets though

[files tax return]

Original poster
EdgarAleNPie · 17/12/2010 14:31

DH does the sums, i do the forms, i don't think he ever cleans the loo...

this could descend into outrageous bin-outery.

asking him to do it defies the point a little bit - i want him to recognise it needs doing for himself - is that really so childish? or shuld i jst accept that he needs my input on this in order to Learn and Grow as a husband?

OP posts:
MrsNonSmoker · 17/12/2010 14:32

Fair comment Wordsonascreen, but stop taunting us with yer filed tax return.

booyhohoho · 17/12/2010 14:33

yuck. six month old bed sweat!!!!

YABU

you need to sit down and talk to him. be an adult FGS.

Original poster
EdgarAleNPie · 17/12/2010 14:33

what sort of dark wood floor mrsnonsmoker?

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MrsNonSmoker · 17/12/2010 14:35

Where do you get this Learn 'n' Grow Husband from? Is is new fangled? I've been married 22 years, if he sees something on the floor he steps on to it (not even over it now). Dirt doesn't bother him. You need to use force or do it yourself.

booyhohoho · 17/12/2010 14:36

have the conversation. lay your cards on the table. tell him he needs to take responsibility for teh house the same way you do, and that means noticing that the floor needs done, the washing needs hung, teh bin needs emptied etc. i agree with you, he shouldn't need you to ask him to take care of his own house, but have the conversation first. tell him where you stand and THEN leave it up to him, and don't do anymore of his washing til he starts taking care of things on his own.

MrsNonSmoker · 17/12/2010 14:37

My dark wood floor is not real wood just a particularly lovely laminate from some sort of Tiles R Us emporium, you can't tell the difference. Good choice, well, maybe not if its making me think I can go 4 months between cleans, but yswim.

thighsmadeofcheddar · 17/12/2010 14:38

Mrs NS - the dark colour of the wood is masking the filth. I clean my floor at least twice a week and the colour of the water is disgusting when I finish.

mistletoeandjuan · 17/12/2010 14:39

YABU - but thanks for giving me the impetus to clean my own kitchen floor (it hasn't been festering as long as yours though)

Original poster
EdgarAleNPie · 17/12/2010 14:41

you see i knew I'd get canned for that, but i said it anyway - joy of Mn.
Your mind expands, but your skin gets thicker.

and as ever, DH was equally responsible for not performing that simple cleaning task. I don't remember who cracked in the end, though he now does it without it getting pointed out. sometimes.

i probably have to either mention it, or do it myself anyway, as his Mum will be over at some point, and she is just dying to tell everyone that i am Not Coping. so i am at the very least unreasonable in terms of timing.

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DooinMeCleanin · 17/12/2010 14:43

I don't think it's childish to leave it and see if he notices. But he won't notice and yu will get fed up at some point and have to do it yourself, so you may as well either chuck the mop and bucket at him now while it's not so bad or just get on with it yourself.

I haven't done much in our house this week. V bad week, very upset and also fluey. 'D'H has noticed. And swore about it a lot and called me names a lot and sulked a lot and swore some more, but has he cleaned anything? Has he bollocks.

Oh, sorry. I forget, he mopped the kitchen floor whilst swearing at me more than usual and claiming he has to do everything and I am a lazy fuck on the night I had been called to go around and sit with my dying dog, just three days after I held my other dog as she was being pts at my insistence and expense Sad

I now hate him.

Original poster
EdgarAleNPie · 17/12/2010 14:43

i think the Learn and Grow husband could be made by Playmobil :)

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Original poster
EdgarAleNPie · 17/12/2010 14:46

dooinmecleaning :( i hope you are getting good advice elsewhere on MN because that is more than unnacceptable.

and very :( about your dogs. heartbreaking.

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MrsNonSmoker · 17/12/2010 14:51

dooinmecleaning very sorry to hear about dogs, you were only giving me good advice on the dog boards a couple of weeks ago, had no idea yours were ill. Sad I hate him too on your behalf.

DooinMeCleanin · 17/12/2010 14:55

They were my parents dogs technically, but I classed them as mine. Owing to my fathers illnesses and my mum working ft I walked them and they were bought when I lived at home. I actually paid for the little lab myself with babysitting money I earnt and I am still to this day certain that I owe my life to the other dog after he stopped another large dog attacking me.

I have spent the week sulking, hugging my own dogs, crying, sulking some more and very occassionally washing an odd plate here or there. But I am feeling a bit better now. Thank you x

DooinMeCleanin · 17/12/2010 14:58

Sorry for th hi-jack btw. But you do know he is not going to notice the floor before it irritates you beyond belief so you may as well get it over with.

Have you thought about buying a steam mop? Or suggesting he buys you one. Men love new gadgets .

Original poster
EdgarAleNPie · 17/12/2010 15:04

i have tried the buying new gadgets approach on other things. i get one usage out of it (the first 'try out new toy' use) then i have to remind him.

you lot are probs right. i have to mention that it annoys me that he regards the handling of the mop as my job. he is not going to see it for himself, regardless of how blindingly obvious it is to me. so, IABU in that respect.

OP posts:
Original poster
EdgarAleNPie · 17/12/2010 15:08

hugs Hound of Poe<

notices she needs a bath too<

sulking about dogs is NU at all.

OP posts: